Before Beyond
by kizza15
Summary: A prequel to my other story "years gone by" Beyond Birthday was born with the shinigami eyes because of his mothers mistake. He was also born with an abusive father and an insanity that eventually drove him to murder. This is what happened before Wammys, before the Los Angeles BB murder cases, and before his sudden death at the hand of Kira(please read my first story too)COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

**Before Beyond**

I realised from a young age that I wasn't the same as other children. Not just because of the odd name and the odd habit of talking to myself. It's not even because of the unusual crimson irises in my eyes that lead some people to believe that I am the anti-Christ.

It's more to do with the fact that I know a person's name just by looking at their face. Not to mention, I also know exactly when they are going to die.

Some people would say that it's a gift. That it makes me special. And some people wouldn't believe it. But to me, it's only a curse.

I am Beyond Birthday. Otherwise known as B or now, the Wara Ningyo murderer. But not long ago I was known as backup. Even earlier than that I was known as little more than a waste of air and space.

Why you ask? That's a good question…

 **3 months before birth**

"I want to make the eye deal Kara." A black haired woman with scarred limbs and a bulging stomach stood alone in a dimly lit bedroom, clutching a black notebook to her chest with one hand, and wiping away the mascara streaks running down her face with the other. Well at least, if anyone else was to view the scene, they would think that the woman was alone.

"Are you sure Rebecca? You know it will half your lifespan. And think about the effects it could have on the baby. I don't know what happens if a pregnant human makes the eye deal."

The Shinigami, Kara, pointed with a blackened, skeletal hand at Rebecca's stomach. Rebecca shook her head slightly and looked down to her stomach. She sighed sadly, and heavily.

"I don't care. I never wanted a baby anyway. If it dies, so be it. And I wouldn't mind dying early anyway. You've seen how my waste of air husband is. Make the deal." The Shinigami looked at the sobbing woman almost with pity.

"Why don't you just write his name in your death note?" Kara asked in a low, masculine voice. If Kara hadn't told Rebecca that she was female, she never would have guessed. Rebecca sat down on the bed and stared at the floor.

"I still love him. No matter what he does. Make the deal with me Kara. It's my choice." With that, Kara shrugged her shoulders and replied coldly.

"Fine, but whatever happens, on your head be it."

 **3 months later**

"Red?"

"What do you mean?"

"His eyes. They're red."

Rebecca birthday listened to the exchange between the midwife and her husband with interest as she breathed heavily. She was surprised that she couldn't hear any crying. Usually babies cry when they are born. But she heard nothing more than her own breathing and the exchange between the others in the room.

Rebecca silently looked up at Kara who was looming over the tiny child. Kara glanced back at Rebecca and stepped back over to her bedside. Speaking quietly, although no one else would hear her anyway.

"This will ruin his life. He didn't even get the option." Rebecca's curiosity about her child peaked at the Shinigami's words.

"Can I see him?" she asked cautiously, slightly worried. The midwife looked at her briefly, then smiled hesitantly, walking towards her.

"Of course…Congratulations!"

The midwife gently passed the tiny child wrapped in a white blanket to his mother. Rebecca looked into the child's innocent face and felt a pang of guilt. How had she said such horrible things about this boy before she had even met him? She had said she wished his death. Rebecca realised at that moment that she had never been so wrong in her life. The boy flickered his eyes open slowly and gazed into his mother's eyes. The first thing she realised was that the boy did indeed have a striking vermillion colour to his eyes. The second thing she noticed about the boy was that he already had raven black hair long enough to cover his ears. But all in all, she thought that he was beautiful. She smiled, and the boy copied her gesture and laughed. She found herself crying, but still smiling.

"Im going to call you Beyond." She whispered. "Because you are above and beyond my expectations, and I love you so much..."

Even Kara smiled at the sight. And even more surprising than that, Beyond's father smiled. A very rare occurrence indeed…

 **6 years later**

I hear the police sirens drawing closer and closer as I run. My father must have called them again. I roll my eyes and hide behind a tree as the car races past, too fast to see me. This is the 2rd time this month that I've run away, and the 4th time I've ever done it. Why don't they get the bloody message already?

I turn and run deeper into the woods as I hear the car turn around and come back my way. They stop by the side of the road and run in my direction. The saw me. Fantastic. I won't be able to outrun them, I flinch and clutch my side, where angry purple bruises paint my skin under my thin black shirt. I shiver and pick up my speed a little.

The police either don't believe me when I tell them what my father is truly like, or they just don't want to believe it. My father has told everyone that I am insane, that it's all in my head, and that im the cause of all my mysterious injuries, and the only people who still know the truth and care are too scared to do anything.

My lungs start to burn and I struggle to run anymore. I hear the police closing in on me. I stop and run a hand through my hair, panic flooding through me. I can't go back. He'll hurt me again. I find tears streaming from my eyes as I look around for somewhere to hide. Just as the police burst through the trees into the area in which I am standing, I feel a skeletal arm pull me upwards into the concealing leaves of a tree, and hold a hand over my mouth. The men on the ground below continue running. When the sound of their shouting and footsteps have faded into silence, the hand is removed from over my mouth and I lie down on my back and breathe out, trembling. A bony face appears above me, our red eyes meeting.

"Are you alright Beyond?" Kara asks with a worried monotone, if that's a thing. I close my eyes and nod slowly.

"Thanks Kara."

"You know you will have to go home eventually, you wouldn't leave your mother would you?" Kara replies, tilting her head to the side a bit, and backing up as I sit up.

"No, of course I wouldn't. I just needed to get away for a while. Even if it means more pain when I get home." I shrug my shoulders and swing my legs over the edge of the tree, before pushing off with my hands and travelling towards the ground. Kara catches me with one arm just before I hit the ground to prevent broken ankles, and flies alongside me as I walk back in the direction of the police car.

"What are you doing?" Kara puzzles as I get to the side of the road where the police cars have been left. I take a rock from the ground in my hand before swinging it at the car window, shattering the glass.

"Just getting them back for chasing me all the time." I grin, as I take off into a run again before the smashing noise brings the officer's back in my direction…

Kara searches the house before I open the door.

"You're father isn't home yet. Your mother is asleep. You'll be okay." She reassures when she returns.

"Thanks Kara. Come on." I whisper, pushing open the front door and closing it quietly behind me before making my way to my room. I barricade my door by pushing all the furniture against it, including the bed. Satisfied with the blockade, I sit on the window seat, and stare out the window.

"Where did you go before the police came?" Kara asks curiously.

"I went to see Alejandro." I shrug. "He's been having a hard time since his Dad died. He and his brother are orphans now. They're going to some orphanage in Winchester soon. Wammys house or something." Kara sighs and moves towards the door. Before she merges through it, I call out.

"Thank you..." She turns around and smiles sadly, before leaving to return to my mother. I sit by the window for many hours, staring blankly out the window, until I see the figure of my father stumble towards the house…

My mother creeps into the kitchen when the noises stop. My screaming. My father's shouting. The sound of me hitting the worktop as my father threw me back. Im slumped against the worktop, attempting to pull myself up, but struggling. I wince as I wipe the blood from my nose and mouth. I don't even cry. I don't say anything to my mother.

I make brief eye contact with her, twitch angrily and drag myself to sit at the table, letting my head fall onto it harshly. Mother walks over to me cautiously, sitting beside me and placing a hand on my shoulder. I flinch away and she withdraws quickly.

"Are you…Ok B?" She asks worriedly. I flash her an irritated glance, scorching her with my red irises as I check her lifespan again. Just to reassure myself. I pull myself up so im sitting up a bit straighter.

"Im fine. No thanks to you." I spit accusingly. My mother looks so guilt stricken and miserable at my words that I feel instantly horrible for saying anything.

"Im sorry, it's not your fault…Im the problem." I mutter, breaking eye contact quickly. I see her move from the corner of my eye.

"No, it's not your fault Beyond. I should do something, it's just…" she pauses, unwilling to try and make excuses. I finish for her.

"You're scared he'll hurt the baby." She nods sadly and reaches out, taking my hand. This time, I don't move away.

"As soon as I am able, we will leave your father. You, me and the baby. And I'll tell the police everything. But I can't risk it yet. You understand don't you?" she pleads, taking my face in her other hand tentatively and moving my eyes to hers. I force my eyes to return to hers, and I nod my head a little. She smiles sadly, this time pulling me into a hug. I freeze for a moment before returning the gesture. After a couple of minutes she moves away a little.

"Come on. Let's cover up these bruises and get you to school."

 **4 years later**

I walk into the crowded classroom slowly, trying to conceal my limp, as I search around for my friend. I see him sitting at the back of the room staring out of a window. I walk up and take the seat next to him. He swivels around to face me quickly, widening his emerald eyes when he sees my face. I tried but it proved difficult to mask the bruised lip and the black eye.

"What did that bastard to you this time?!" He exclaims, in a loud whisper.

I Shh him before whispering my response.

"He bashed my head against the worktop, threw me into it, grabbed a bottle of vodka and left." I shrug dismissively. A runs a hand through his mousy brown hair and breathes out harshly.

"You need to tell someone before he gives you brain damage!" I stare daggers at him.

"Alejandro, its fine. You're over exaggerating the situation..." He cuts me of promptly.

"First of all, it's A. you know I hate my name. Secondly, it isn't normal or okay for your father to do this to you. Besides, one day, he could turn around and hurt Alodia. Then what?" A looks at me expectantly, but all I can do is sneer.

"I'd like to see him try. I would sooner stab him in the face myself than let him hurt her." I reply firmly before adding. "Then I could join you at the orphanage." I stop myself from thinking along that line anymore. I'd be an orphan if my father died. My mother's sudden death left me to fend for myself and my sister with no help. Sometimes I wish she'd just let that man kill me rather than save me…

 **Kara**

I remember the night clearly, for 4 years is nothing to a Shinigami. Silence rang through the house. An eerie silence that even I, a Shinigami, was unsettled by. Which is why I was relieved to hear the baby cry. I drifted into her room, looming over her cot, and she stopped crying when she saw me. She smiled and raised her tiny balled fists up to me. I smiled gently at her and placed my hand near hers. She grabbed hold of my bony thumb fearlessly and clenched it in her hand, laughing. I knew that Rebecca would die that night. I'd seen her lifespan, but I couldn't tell her. I looked down at the baby sadly.

"Im sorry, I cannot help your mother. But im sure your brother will care for you whatever happens." I knew she wouldn't remember this or understand me, but I felt the words had to be said. That's when I heard the intruders break into the house. Glancing down at the baby again, I proceeded to blockade her bedroom door from the inside with any furniture I could find, before drifting through the floorboards to watch everything play out.

A man stood in the Livingroom with a knife to Beyond's throat whilst Rebecca wept helplessly, begging the man to let him go.

"He is the devil! See his eyes! He knows people's names instantly and he knows when they will die! Who other than the devil could do such a thing! I must send your demon children back to hell!" The man shouted manically, seemingly about to rip away the boy's life whilst he simply stood there, face unmoving, paralysed with fear. Rebecca attempted to grab the knife from him, but in a swift movement, she instead was stabbed in the chest. Beyond finally reacted, first screaming, then biting the man to make him lose his grip before taking the knife, and violently stabbing the man in the stomach repeatedly until he stopped breathing. When he returned his attention back to his mother, he hugged her to him tight and whispered the words.

"Please don't leave me…You can't leave me..." His mother's eyes ran with pained tears, but she took his face in her hands.

"I love you B. look after your sister. Also…the death note is yours, so Kara will be with you…but never use it…understand me?" She pleaded with her last dying breath. Beyond didn't point out that he had just killed a man anyway so using the notebook was no different. He simply nodded. Rebecca Birthday smiled at her son, as both he and I saw her lifespan and name disappear from above her head, and she was gone.

As I looked on at the scene I saw Beyond's lifespan decrease by a couple of years. I frowned, but didn't say anything. I knew that Rebecca's death could damage B to the point that he commits suicide later in life. That was one possibility to the sudden decrease in his lifespan. What actually happened was unexpected to say the least…

 **Beyond**

Out of the corner of my eye I see Kara staring at me. I shift uncomfortably and give her a subtle glare. She looks away slowly, instead focusing on an empty space of wall. My mind wonders back to the night my mother died four years ago. I was only six, and she left me with a new-born baby and an aggressive father. I had called the police myself, after sitting by my mother for about 10 minutes, rocking backwards and forwards. My father arrived at the same time the police did, shocked at his wife's dead body. He truly did still love her. He didn't hurt her, only me. He cried as they took her away under a white sheet. He didn't say a word to me as he disappeared to his room, ignoring the sound of his baby daughter crying in the next room.

Kara unblocked her bedroom door, and I went to her cot, cradling Alodia in my arms until she stopped crying. As I looked into her brown eyes, I saw them flash red, and she smiled at me. I smiled back, despite the pain I was in.

"You too huh?" I whispered, wiping tears from her eyes, then mine.

"I'll look after you, don't worry." I promised, sitting on the floor with my back against the wall singing quiet lullaby's I had learnt from my mother, until she fell asleep in my arms. I stayed awake all night replaying the night through my head to the point I nearly went insane.

I return my attention back to A as he nudges me gently.

"Come on, lessons over." I nod and stand up, stumbling a little from the sudden thudding pain in my head. A catches me and helps me stand. Someone else in the room had noticed.

"Beyond? Are you alright?" A white haired boy, about a year older than me walks forward with a concerned look on his face.

"Im fine...it's just a headache..." I reply quickly. Looking up to the boy's face, I realise a deep purple bruise under his right eye. He sees me looking and starts to walk away.

"Ok…if you're sure you're not dying or something." The boy laughs light-heartedly, leaving the room.

"Seriously mate, are you sure you're gonna be ok?" A asks concerned.

"Im fine. Lets go." I say dismissively, limping out of the room, half supported by A. I see a strange expression on A's face that concerns me, but I know what it is.

"Are you ok? I mean with being at wammy's." I ask casually. A keeps a stony face and shrugs his shoulders.

"I don't know. It's a pretty depressing place. Not going to lie." He sighs.

"Well it is an orphanage A."

"Shut up B."

"Sorry."

As I drag myself through the rest of the day, I swear I can hear a muffled voice, somewhere in the back of my mind. I can't figure out what it is or what its saying, but it's there, and it puts me on edge.

When I get home, the first thing I do is check on Alodia. She's in her room, hanging off her bed backwards. Strange child. When she sees me, she falls off the bed and laughs.

"Hi! B!" She smiles, running at me and hugging me around the middle.

"Hey, what have you been doing all day?" I grin tiredly. She detangles her arms from around me and runs to a pile of paper on her floor. She picks some up and runs back over to me. I sit on the floor cross legged as she approaches and does the same. She shows me some brightly coloured drawings grinning widely as I look at each one carefully.

"They're beautiful Alodia, what's this one?" I ask curiously, a little confused.

"It's a jar of jam." She laughs. I look at the picture again, then up to her, confusion on my face.

"I like jam. Jam is the best thing in the world." She explains. I nod slowly.

"O.K.. You are one strange kid, you know that right?" I laugh. She shrugs and raises an eyebrow at me.

"Say's you demon boy." She replies, making her normally brown eyes flash red.

"Rude." I reply. She smiles and shrugs her shoulders.

"Fight me."

We both turn as we hear the front door open, then slam shut. My face turns serious.

"Stay very quiet, ok?" she nods, as I walk slowly downstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

I shuffle into school the next day, bruised neck and cradling a sprained wrist, tears in my eyes. A looks to me in alarm, rushing over to shield me from the view of the other kids.

"Oh god…You look terrible..." he murmurs worriedly.

"Thanks" I mutter weakly. A grimaces at my tone.

"What happened?" he asks, helping me to our spaces at the back of the room.

"My father…He killed our teacher…because he confronted him about me." A looks shell-shocked and dark surprise floods his face.

"No…he can't have…oh shit! It's my fault I told him!" A exclaims, burying his face in his hands. He slumps onto the desk. I see his lifespan decrease suddenly, and I shudder.

"No, Alejandro don't…It wasn't your fault you were just trying to help. Please don't..." I plead desperately. As A lifts his hands to run through his mousy hair, his sleeve falls down to reveal his wrists. Some of the damage I see is old, healed scars. But further down his arm I see fresh injuries. I don't know what to say to him, but I don't mention that I've seen them. Soon enough our headmaster enters the room with an elderly man by his side. The older man looks up at me and A, locking eye contact with me for a period of time whilst the headmaster addresses the class.

"Everyone. I must inform you all that a terrible incident occurred last night. Your teacher, Mr Holden was attacked, and he was found dead early this morning." A collection of surprised responses occur from the news. When the class eventually stop their loud, and scared conversation, the headmaster turns to the elderly man next to him.

"This is the detective who is trying to find who committed this despicable crime, and he'd like to talk to some of you." He nods at the man who stops looking in my direction briefly to regard the headmaster.

"Thank you. I am Watari. I'd like to talk to a couple of you only. The rest of you needn't worry yourselves. I believe that the culprit killed the victim without intention, so no one else is likely to be targeted. I need to speak with…" he takes out a small piece of paper and glances down at it.

"Beyond Birthday and Alejandro Jeevas. Please come with me." he waits as A and I slowly shift to the front of the room under the curious stare of the other kids. As im walking I swear I see my father leaning against a desk, sneering at me. I stand and stare for a moment before I feel A pull on my arm.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"N...nothing." I stutter, following A and Watari out of the room. I see A absently pull his sleeve down as we are lead to the headmaster's office. When we step inside, Watari instructs us to take a seat. When we do, his demeanour seems to change. His face takes on a less stern, kind expression.

"Im sorry to do this during school time A, I just think it's better than the whole of wammy's knowing, don't you think?" he asks, smiling sadly. A nods his head.

"I understand Watari." I look at him in surprise.  
"You know him?" I ask A. A replies and nods his head again.

"Yes. Watari owns wammy's house, as well as being a detective. He's the one who took me and Matt."

"That's right. Beyond, as I understand it, you've been having some problems at home for quite a while now. Am I correct?" I lean back in my seat and cross my arms over my chest. Who does this guy think he is? Demanding personal information about my life.

"Why is it relevant to your case?" I answer with a cocky tone. Watari shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair too, lacing his fingers together.

"I believe your father murdered Mr Holden. If what I've heard about your lie is true, it would almost confirm that he is capable of something like this." He sighs. A glint in his eye tells me that he knows he's got me.

"Yes. He is a rather difficult person to be around." I reply conservatively. Watari seems unsatisfied with the answer.

"He hurts you a lot?" he prods. I think before I reply. If my father knew that I told watari about all this he would surely kill me or Alodia. On the other hand, if he is convicted and goes to prison, we'll be free.

"Yes. He does." I reply. Watari makes notes in a little notebook.

"Has your father said anything to you suggesting that he killed Mr Holden?" I shrug my shoulders. I cannot tell him that much information. He doesn't ask me anymore questions.

"Thank you Beyond. That will be all. I think we will meet again at some point soon. You may leave whilst I talk with A. meanwhile, go home to your sister. The headmaster wants you to be excused for the rest of the day so no one bombards you with questions." Watari holds the door open for me and closes it behind me when I leave. I slowly walk home with Kara beside me.

"Why didn't you just tell him that your father killed your teacher? You would be free." She asks, confusion in her masculine voice.

"He would kill me before the police got their hands on him." I sigh.

"Although he will probably be arrested for the abuse I told him about." As we near the house, Kara searches the rooms for my father, but oddly she can't find anybody. Not even Alodia.

"Somethings wrong." Kara states dejectedly. I take the uncomfortable grey contact lenses out of my eyes. I push open the door slowly and I instantly see signs of a struggle. Papers across the floor, glasses smashed. I see the door the basement stairs open. But that door is always locked. As I step forward, I hear someone coming up the basement stairs. I don't have time to go anywhere. My father stumbles out of the doorway, and locks eyes with me. He step quickly towards me and grabs the collar of my shirt before I can run away. He drags me towards the basement steps. As we are by the door, he brings his face close to mine and whispers sinisterly.

"You told. Now you and your demon sister will be left down there to die." I try to resist, but im thrown with brute force down the steps. My face hits the cold concrete floor and blood pours from my nose. I hear the door slam shut and lock. I run up the stairs to the door and fruitlessly batter it with my fists. After a short time I feel a gentle hand on my back, I turn to see Alodia's fearful face, and I soften my expression.

"Are you hurt Lo?" I ask soothingly, even using her nickname to make myself seem calmer. She shakes her head, black hair falling about her shoulders and framing her rosy cheeked face.

"Im okay…But your bleeding again..." she whimpers. I wipe the blood from my nose with my hand, then wipe in on my black shirt casually.

"It's fine, don't worry. We have to find a way out of this."


	3. Chapter 3

As the time passes, it becomes apparent that no one is likely to help us. I glance over to Alodia, sleeping in the corner of the room on an old mattress. I sigh heavily. Even Kara can't open the door without the key, so there's nothing she can do to help us. In the dim light created by the dusty lightbulb hanging ominously from the ceiling, I can just about see my surroundings, and occasionally I see things that aren't there.

It started in the classroom when Watari came to speak to me and A. When I saw my father, but he wasn't there. No one else could see him. A couple of hours after we'd been down here, both searching around for any means of escape, we gave up and collapsed to the floor. As I stood and pulled out the mattress for Alodia, I thought I saw a figure standing to my side, with black hair and a face identically to my own, but holding a metallic, glinting object. When I turned to see, he was gone, so I shook it off as just a trick of the light. But as time went on, more and more strange figures that Alodia didn't see once appeared and disappeared.

As I sit in silence, staring off at the far wall, I hear Alodia stir and wake up. She stands up and walks over to me, shaking me out of my stupor.

"What's wrong?" she asks innocently. Im not sure she has fully grasped the seriousness of our situation yet. I don't know what to say to her anymore.

"Nothing Lo. It's okay. Im sure the police will find us soon." I try to make myself sound confident but I don't think it worked. I stand up and give her a reassuring smile, walking over to a door in the opposite corner from the mattress. What our father failed to remember when he planned to let us die down here is that our basement has a small bathroom from which we can get water, and we can survive for a while without food.

I splash water onto my face and look at my image in the mirror. My face is sunken and my eyes rimmed with black from not sleeping. My hair is sticking up in every direction and my crimson eyes look slightly duller than usual. Then, abruptly, the light around me flickers, making me ump. Why am I so jumpy? It's not like me at all. I raise my hand out in front of me and realise that it's shaking uncontrollably. I clutch my wrist with the other hand and hold it to my chest. The lights shuddered again and I caught a glance to the mirror again. I breathe in quickly in surprise as I see a figure in the mirror. He is the same height as me with the same hair. But his clothes are smeared in blood. In one hands he holds a knife, also dripping in blood. He smiles at me widely. I turn around, but he isn't there. Instead, there is a body lying on the floor. I jump back in shock. I recognise the boy lying dead on the floor with blood seeping through his white shirt, tears on his pale face, his white hair plastered to his cheeks.

"C…Coby?" I choke. He is the kind boy with the bruised face in my class. Why would he be here? Why is he dead? As I look at the body, I see the same figure as before looming over it on the other side. He looks at me again and smiles. Then he speaks. His voice like mine but laced with hatred and evil.

"Killing is fun B. You should kill someone." I fall over backwards in fear. This seems to amuse the figure.

"W...Who are you?" I stutter. The boy walks over to me and crouches beside me.

"Im you. Im what you are going to be someday soon. I guarantee it. But don't listen to me, im not real, and your sister will worry." I look at him in confusion, but before I can say anything else, he stands upright and his face begins to become disfigured, distorted in terrifying and demonic ways. I find myself screaming and looking away, my hands pulling at my hair and my forehead resting on the ground.

It's not long before Alodia comes in and shakes me by the shoulders, trying to calm me down.

"Calm down B? What's wrong?" she asks quickly, terror infused into her voice. It brings me back to my senses.

"You… Didn't see any of that?" I reply quietly. She shakes her head.

"No. What are you on about?" I recall what just happened to her. Her brown eyes widen in surprise.

"It's okay B. You wouldn't kill anyone. It's just sleep deprivation. You'll be fine." She wraps her arms around me and I tremble as I return the gesture.

"I hope you're right…"I whisper, unconvinced that sleep deprivation can cause such vivid hallucinations after just two days. Guilt and sadness consumes me as I recall that Alodia is wrong. I killed someone four years ago. But she was only a baby, she couldn't know that. I won't allow her to know that. She would never look at me the same way again…

As three more days pass by with no hope of rescue, we come to the conclusion that the police think we are elsewhere, so they aren't looking here. Alodia is asleep again on the mattress, but I can't sleep. I sit with my knees to my chest, my eyes twitching and my nails digging into my knees. I am the very image of insanity now. All I need is a strait jacket.

Kara phases through the door, back into the room to give me an update of what's going on with my father.

"He's been arrested and convicted of the murder, but the police believe that you and your sister ran away, the only ones who don't believe that are Watari and A. They're still looking for you." She reports monotonously. I look at Alodia sadly.

"Kara, if they take much longer, I might have to kill her." I state, earning a very surprised reaction from Kara.

"What? Why would you do that?!" she asks, shocked. I grimace at her tone that's making me feel awful for even considering it.

"Because I would rather she dies quickly than go mad or starve to death before someone thinks to check down here. Look at her lifespan." I reply sadly. Kara looks over to Alodia's small curled up form.

"A week." She breathes out morosely.

"Yes, but I think that's only if we don't escape. If we find a way out, she probably won't die." Kara looks at me with slight confusion on her face.

"You seem very calm about the fact our sister may die. It's a little odd." I shrug my shoulders.

"I hate to say it, but I've been considering this for a while and I'd rather she dies than live on the maximum time she can in misery. There's nothing else I can do at this point." Kara considers this.

"I know what I can do to help. Don't do anything until I get back." Kara orders, leaving before I can say anything, and im left to my own thoughts again…


	4. Chapter 4

**Kara**

Although I think that Beyond has lost his mind, I understand what he said to me. It is far better for Alodia to die quickly than suffer, but I think back to that night that Rebecca died and I push the thought aside. I cannot let B kill her. I don't think he'd forgive himself. A few days ago I took the notebook from its hiding place under the floorboards in Beyond's bedroom and left through the wall, drifting high over the town trying to find the right place, but it proved harder than I thought. But now, after two days of none stop searching I get to a secluded road sheltered by trees. I follow it along until I come to a tall black fence surrounding a large building hidden by vast expanses of woodland all around.

I land by the front door of the house and read a sign that says "Wammy's House" This is definitely the right place. I move through the walls and begin to scan the names and faces of everyone I see. I move through many rooms before I find the right person. He is sitting in a bedroom staring out of the window with his face frozen in a look of sadness. I feel a pang of sympathy as I observe that his lifespan is only six years maximum, but I push the negative thought aside and get back to the plan at hand.

Making sure there is no one else in the room, I drop the Death note to the floor and purposely knock a chair to make the boy turn around. His jade eyes glisten with confusion as he walks over to notebook. He flicks away a strand of mousy brown hair from his face as he picks up the notebook and reads the cover. He jumps backwards when he sees me and goes to scream. I quickly put a hand over his mouth as gently as I can so as not to scare him anymore.

"It's okay Alejandro. Im Kara, and im a friend of B's. Don't scream okay?" I ask slowly. A nods his head slightly and I move my hand from his mouth. He looks at me and stutters.

"W…What are you?"

"I am a Shinigami, or a god of death. But I don't want to hurt you. Beyond and Alodia need you, so I need you to come with me. Understand?" A nods his head slowly.

"Okay. What do I have to do?"

"You need to go to the police and get the basement key from Beyond's father. Then you need to get B out of there before he completely loses it." I reply calmly, but I can see A's composure going again.

"They're in the basement? I thought they'd run away. And what do you mean 'before he completely loses it'?" A asks, already leaving the room, tucking the death note into a rucksack and swinging it onto his back.

"I think his numerous head injuries and emotional abuse have caused him to develop some mental illnesses, including schizophrenia, it would seem. He keeps seeing horrific visions and hearing voices. He has threatened to kill Alodia if they aren't freed soon to save her from a slower death." I reply monotonously.

"Oh…" A breathes simply.

He runs from the house and out of the gates really fast, faster than you would think he could run by looking at him. Just comes to show how much he cares for B. I smile to myself a little. I wish Shinigami were able to have friendships like this, but Shinigami are assholes, so it doesn't work. I fly faster to keep up, and eventually we're back in town. A makes his way to the police station instantly, and storms up to the front desk quickly. He explains that he believes B and Alodia may be in the basement of their house, but he doesn't mention me. For good reason, they would all think he's insane.

It doesn't take too long for the police and A to arrive at the house with the key. As soon as we step, or in my case fly inside the door, we are greeted by the faint sound of sobbing coming from the basement. A takes the key from the police officer and runs to the basement door, unlocking it with shaking hands. As soon as it's unlocked he pulls the door open and steps into the dark abyss that is the basement. I follow behind him, slightly concerned about what we would find. After all, I left two days ago as it took me so long to find A. A police officer shines a torch into the room as their eyes hadn't adjusted to the light yet.

In the corner of the room lay Alodia, clinging to B weakly. I think she is dead until I see her numbers are still there, and I relax a little. B is staring at the opposite wall, not responding to the torch light on him, or the concerned voices of the police. Instead he is mumbling under his breath. He only responds when A walks over to him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

"A?" B mumbles in disbelief. A smiles and nods.

"Yeah, we found you mate. Your both safe now. Come on." A reply's, trying to ignore how skinny and unwell both of the raven haired children look. B looks down at his sleeping sister and shakes his head.

"Im not so sure about that. I don't think she can walk, she's too weak…" A cuts him off calmly.

"It's ok, I can carry her. You're too weak too." He puts an arm under her legs and the other across her back, carrying her bridal style. He puts Alodia's arms around his neck and helps B up with one hand. B stumbles weakly once on his feet but I dart forward and catch him with a ghostly arm. He glances at me and smiles.

"Im okay, I can walk." B says to the police, obviously lying, but with me supporting him it doesn't matter. Only Alejandro and Beyond can see me, so it looks like B is just limping. A takes the lead, carrying Alodia from the basement and laying her on the sofa in the living room. Everyone else follows shortly after. An ambulance arrives to take them away. But as I look on at the scene, I see B's solemn expression as he climbs into the ambulance with Alodia, and I check her lifespan again. It is still only a few days.

B gives me a strange look as the ambulance moves, or perhaps he is looking behind me. I turn around to see, but as usual, there is nothing there.

"It's your imagination B. Nothing's there." I assert firmly. B's eyes meet mine, I see something flash through them, insanity maybe? I can't tell. He breaks eye contact and looks back to his sister as she stirs and wakes up.

"Where are we?" she asks feebly.

"An ambulance. Kara found A and bought him to us. But…" B falters.

"What? What is it?" she demands worriedly. B struggles for words.

"it's…your lifespan."


	5. Chapter 5

**Beyond**

I didn't know how to tell her. She will die because of the condition she is in, at four years old, but they won't let her die peacefully. This will be dragged on and on. Im not even sure what's killing her, but her lifespan suggests she will be dead in a couple of days. Having already been treated and let out of my hospital room, I spend every moment of the day with Alodia, who has started suffering from splitting headaches, nausea and now can't walk. No one knows what is wrong with her as they've ruled everything it could be out. Mysterious bruise like marks have appeared on her torso, suggesting internal bleeding, but she would already be dead.

Kara glides into the room and sees Alodia sleeping, she walks over to me with a slightly angry expression on her skeletal face.

"What's wrong?" I ask curiously, it's not often something makes a Shinigami angry.

"I know what's wrong with Alodia." She replies solemnly, fiddling with a strand of her black hair like a child would. I bolt upright to attention.

"What? What's wrong with her?" Kara looks into my eyes, now looking sympathetic.

"There is this Shinigami in my realm called Kenelm. He is a spiteful, sick creature. He is one of the few Shinigami who kill with methods other than heart attacks when they write in their death notes…" She stops, looking for the words.

"What are you saying?" I ask, horrified, not really wanting her to finish the sentence.

"Kenelm enjoys watching humans die slowly, painfully. He wrote in his death note "Dies of mysterious illness which no one is able to diagnose, two days after being rescued." I visited the Shinigami realm briefly because I had this theory, and I confirmed it with Kenelm. Im sorry B, there's nothing anyone can do to save her. What's written in the death note cannot be unwritten." I feel my knees go weak. I drop my eyes from hers and they land back on my dying sister. This can't be happening…my eyes well up as I rest my head in my hands. Kara leaves me to let the news sink in fully.

There is nothing they can do, and my sister will die.

Needless to say the day drags on as her lifespan slowly counts down, her symptoms worsening by the hour. New ones appear, and now her arms and legs are paralysed. Why would Kenelm kill my sister? Why her? It makes no sense to me. She still doesn't know what's going on. As she sleeps, I hear the door open. I turn to see A closing the door behind him

"Only family members are allowed to come in. So I told them im a cousin." A explains. I smile at him and shake my head.

"Ok then." I reply.

"How is she?" A asks, after a moment of grim silence. I still haven't explained to A either, but I have explained about death notes.

"She's going to die." I sigh bluntly, "there's a Shinigami, like Kara, but he's evil. He wrote Alodia's name in his death note and made it so that she will die slowly, and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it." I hear a voice in the back of my head again that becomes very hard to ignore. It tells me the same thing every time I hear it.

 ** _You could kill her B. Make her pain and suffering disappear quicker._**

I try and shake the thought off as I watch A react to the news with a shocked expression, followed by sympathetic words that im tired of hearing. He leaves shortly after. But the thought doesn't leave me this time. By the end of tomorrow, she will die, but the suffering is likely to get far worse before then. So I am left with two options. Let my sister die a slow, painful death, or end it quickly so she is at peace.

I know which option I favour. I feel a strange, eerie calm wash over me. I should be distressed, or disturbed by what Im going to do, but the voice is there, along with a figure in the corner of the room. Saying, **_Good choice B. Good choice._** I look at my sister again, squeezing her hand gently, before walking calmly from the room.

 **Alodia**

My heart pounds in my chest as I open my eyes. I hear the sound of screaming, weeping behind me. I turn to see something that takes me aback. My brother is curled in on himself with his knees to his chest. He is wearing a strange white jacket preventing the movement of his hands. His feet are chained down and his ankles are red and burnt. I hear him pleading quietly.

" _Im sorry Alodia. I failed you and our mother. All those people…"_ I find myself somewhere else this time. The room doesn't seem familiar but I observe how there are two people here I haven't seen before. One is a boy of about 18 years old with a startling likeness to B, but his eyes are more heavily rimmed with black and his eyes are a grey/black colour. The other is a boy of about the same age with white hair and white clothes, apart from a flower of blood swirling from over one of his lungs. The first boy clutches the other, but faces towards the door.

"I'll KILL YOU B! ILL KILL YOU!"

And with that my eyes snap open to reveal my white hospital room, and I find that I am alone for once. I shiver and wish I could move my arms to pull the blanket closer in on me. Then I feel the blanket being pulled up a little higher. I look up to see Kara moving the blanket for me. I smile.

"Thank you." She smiles and nods back.

"That's ok Alodia. I presume you were actually awake when B was speaking with A earlier?" She asks.

"Yes. I heard everything. I will be dead by the end of tomorrow." I reply calmly. Kara looks so incredibly sad. It's a strange sight. Im the one who's dying.

"Are you not scared?" she stutters slightly.

"No. I welcome it, to be honest. Im only four, yet im not sure I like this world all that much. Besides, B and I came up with a plan. I won't die so slowly after all."

"What do you mean?" she queries. I smile weakly.

"Don't worry about it. Just keep an eye on B for me. I've been having strange dreams about him recently. I don't want any of them to come true." I close my eyes and feel Kara rest a hand on my hand gently.

"You are very brave Lo. I don't know much about human emotions, but I know I care about you and your brother greatly. Like a mother does her children. I will stay with B until the day he dies. I promise." She rests her head against mine, and I feel my eyes threatening to cry.

"Goodbye Kara." I whimper.

"Farewell, sweet, little one."

I hear Kara move away and when I open my eyes, im once again alone. Tomorrow, B will carry out the plan, and I will be dead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Beyond**

Neither Alodia nor I sleep. How could we?

Instead, we talk for hours, trying to savour every moment she has left to be alive.

"You should stop blaming yourself so much B. It's not your fault," she frowns, looking down at her hand of playing cards, "Two kings." She sighs, laying two cards face down on the table over her bed. I glance down at my last three cards and laugh.

"Cheat. I win. And I know it isn't all my fault, but I don't know that I will be able to live with myself. Plus I will still be held responsible." I watch as she picks up the deck and starts to put them back in the box. She bites her lip and turns her brown eyes onto me. I see her eyes flash red.

"They won't hold you responsible if they don't find out. Please B, I don't want to lie here in pain for another day. Do it for me. Besides, even if they catch you, your lifespan suggests that you will survive for a long time anyway." I look at her confuses. She smirks.

"How can you know that? You can't see the lifespans of death note owners…Unless…" then I realise.

"You can if you're born with the eyes. How could I not know that?" I run a hand over my face tiredly.

"You know what? That's not even important. Let's talk about something else. Is there anything I can get you?" I smile as cheerfully as I can. Alodia smiles back and thinks for a moment before replying.

"Jam."

When the deep orange sky of morning looms over the horizon, Alodia looks at me with a look of mixed bravery and fear.

"Will it hurt?" She asks, a quiver in her voice. I feel myself go weak and tears start to trail down my pale face. But I need to be brave, for her.

"No. it'll be like falling asleep. I promise." I grimace. Alodia nods her head, but winces at the pain that the simply movement causes her. I sit beside her and wrap my arms around her. She buries her head in my shoulder, and she cries too.

"I love you Beyond." She trembles. I fight back the shaking in my voice.

"I love you too Lo. Be brave. Ok?" she nods again. As I lay her back on her pillows, she glances at Kara, then closes her eyes. With hands shaking so much that I nearly don't do it, I hold a piece of cloth over her nose and mouth. What gets to me is how she doesn't struggle at all against the chloroform dragging her into sleep. When she is unconscious, I breathe out heavily and wipe the tears from my eyes. I push open the window then turn back to her, taking in her tiny form. I wrap her blanket around her and unhook all the tubes connecting her to machines. I lift her like A did when he saved her from the basement, with one last glance to the corner of the room where a sneering figure stands, I leave silently through the window and head off into the nearby woods…

 **A**

As I walk into Alodia's room, I realise there is something very wrong. I see the Shinigami, Kara, staring out of the window. But she is the only being in the room.

"Where are they?" I ask quickly. Kara turns around slowly, but just as she goes to speak, we both hear a distant, yet loud noise that sends chills up my spine. A gunshot.

"B!" I yell, turning on my heels and sprinting out of the room, out of the hospital and towards the sound.

"B! Where are you?!" I scream frantically. I don't get a reply, but I follow the footprints in the dirt until I come to a small clearing shadowed by trees. I all I can see from this angle is B's back, but he is sitting with his legs tucked under him and his head facing down. His whole body is shaking and a gun lays on the ground beside him.

"B?" I move forward slightly and realise that he is sitting by a small, but relatively deep hole. As I get closer, I see there is blood on his hand. My face is one of horror as I realise what has happened. I rush over to B and kneel beside him, and look down to where his eyes are fixed.

"Oh, god…" I tremble as I see what he was staring at. Laying in the ditch is Alodia. Eyes closed peacefully with a blanket wrapped around her. She could be sleeping if it weren't for the fact that her throat is a bloodied mess of severed flesh and bone.

"What have you done?!" I exclaim, horrified, falling backwards. I see B's eye and mouth twitch simultaneously. He doesn't look at me. Instead he reaches for the gun and turns it over in his hands. I stare at the blood on his hands rather than the blood at his sister's throat.

"I was aiming for her head, but I was shaking too much. I slipped. I couldn't let her live on another day in pain…I couldn't…" he stops and turns towards me quickly, I jump back in fear suddenly. He drops the gun and grabs my wrists. His vermillion eyes wide and fearful, but twitching every now and then like a madman. But I don't think it's too farfetched that that's what he is.

"Are you angry with me?" He asks worriedly. A definite fear laced with insanity in his voice. I become very aware of the blood from his hands staining my skin as he holds my wrists. I cringe inwardly, and I avoid the question.

"If you shot her why is there blood on your hands?" He looks down and let's go of my wrists, staring at his hands.

"Oh! I hadn't realised. I shot her at close range, it must have splashed upwards. Sorry…" He draws back. A look of sadness washes over his face.

"I killed her…A! Im a murderer!" He begins to panic, trying to wipe the blood off of his hands but to no avail. When he fails, he looks at me, then the gun. His voice goes from low and menacing to panicked and hysterical. Then suddenly, he uses his hands and feet to push over a large heap of dirt into the ditch until his sister's mangled body is no longer visible. It is then that he takes up the gun and turns to walk away.

"Wait! Beyond! Where are you going?!" I call after him. Without turning to face me, and again with that sinister voice he replies:

"Im going to pay my father a little visit." And there is nothing I can do to stop him.

 **Beyond**

I hear A shouting after me, but I walk on and ignore his pleas. It's my father's fault everything went so wrong. It was probably his abuse which bought Kenelm's attention to our family, and for that, he deserves to die. But a gun is too good for him. It will still be useful for getting into the police station though.

As I enter the building, with the gun in my hands, an officer tries to approach me.

"It's Birthday's kid. He's got a gun." He speaks into his communicator.

"You shouldn't have said that." I mutter, firing a bullet at the man and watching his body crumble to the floor. Soon enough, there are three more police officers trying to get to me. One holds up a tazor and orders me to the drop the gun. I stare him straight in the eyes and smile, aiming the gun at him and pulling the trigger. In less than a minute, four police officers lay dead on the floor around me. Their blood splattered onto my face and clothes. I didn't want to do that. Why did I do that? I hear a voice behind me.

"Beyond! What are you doing?" Kara yells in surprise at the scene. I look at her and shake my head.

"I don't know. I can't stop myself," A dark presents seems to overcome me, "I have to kill…I have to kill…" She tries to stop me, but soon I am sprinting down a hall using an officer's pass card. I start searching for the right person. I unlock the right door with a stolen set of keys. I let the door swing open. My father sits up against the wall with a face of shock and terror when he sees me. For once, he is completely sober.  
"Son…I" he begins, I take the knife out and cut him off.

"No…don't you dare…you aren't my father. You have made my life a living hell since mum died. And because of you, Alodia is dead. Along with my fucking sanity as well it would seem." I scream back, edging closer to him.

"Im sorry Beyond! I didn't mean to do that! I just had a problem. I see now that im sober that what I did was wrong! But…" I press the knife against his throat.

"You don't get to apologise. Not ever! And you abused me before you had a drinking problem so don't give me that bullshit! People like you deserve to die. Im willing to give up my life to make sure you are dead!" I choke, pressing the knife until I draw blood. He gulps in terror and goes to say something else, but before he can, I hear that voice in my head again. I see the apparition of my insanity smiling at me.

 ** _Kill him now B! Kill him!_**

I draw back the knife and plunge it into his lung as far as I can. He screams in agony, and I find myself laughing hysterically. I twist the knife harshly, before removing it and stabbing him again and again until he stops twitching, and even then I don't stop. The laughing ceases and tears run down my face. I step back and look down to my clothes, my skin dark red with his blood. Kara glides in.

"B! There are armed police on their way! Let's go!" she grabs my hand and pulls me from the building, dragging us through the woods and beyond. I don't know where I will go, but I run on anyway. If they catch me, my life is over. I murdered six people in less than half an hour. I am a monster.

After about two hours of continuous running, I can't go any further. I collapse in the shade of a tree and lean against it, breathing heavily. Kara hasn't said a word since we left the town. Now she turns to me and folds her bony arms angrily.

"Why did you kill all those people? What would your mother think if she were here? I promised Alodia that I would take care of you, but trust me, if I hadn't known you since you were a baby, I would kill you myself for what you've done." She grimaces. I look at the ground shamefully. I feel my anger slowly rising though.

"It wasn't my fault! Only my father was going to die, they shouldn't of gotten in the way." I cry out in frustration. Kara shakes her head and perches on a low tree branch.

"They were just doing their jobs. You should have left it to the police to deal with your father. Now you will have to run forever, or you'll be in prison for the rest of your life." She sighs.

"No I won't. I'd rather die. If they try to arrest me, I'll just shoot them, or myself." I finish stubbornly. Kara sighs again and turns her back, looking up at the sky.

"It looks like it's going to rain. You should find some shelter." She stands and offers me a hand, pulling me up too. After looking about for a bit, we come to an area of small trees so tightly packed together that their branches and leaves have formed a perfect sheltered area, hidden away from sight. I settle myself on the ground under the trees and turn onto my side to ignore Kara's angry, accusing eyes. I can tell she is still annoyed.

 ** _It's a shame you can't kill a Shinigami._**

The voice tells me. I ignore it and curl into the fetal position, closing my eyes as the sky turns dark. I listen to the heavy sound of rain that's perfect for muffling my quiet crying and shivering. The cold bites into my skin as I pull my knees in tighter trying to retain some warmth. Then I feel something soft covering me. I open my eyes wearily to see that Kara has taken off her black, velvety cloak and lain it over me. She smiles lightly as I mutter thanks.

"It's ok. I can't feel the cold anyway. Try and get some sleep. We'll have to move more in the morning." I nod and close my eyes again, this time drifting to sleep.

 **A**

 _"_ _Four police officers were found dead in the police station shortly after screaming and gunshots were heard from the building. Mr Harold Birthday, a man in the midst of a domestic abuse case was also found dead in his cell from around 26 stab wounds. Investigators have confirmed that the culprit is Beyond Birthday, the victim's 10 year old son. Any knowledge of his whereabouts should be reported to the police immediately."_ I stare blankly at the blurry photo on the screen from the police security cameras. I see B's distinct red eyes and messy onyx hair. He holds a gun in his hand down by his side. Watari walks into the room and I quickly turn off the tv. He raises an eyebrow at me.

"I told you not to watch the news A. it will only worry you." He sighs sympathetically, sitting on the edge of the window sill.

"I know…I know but he's my best friend. They'll kill him when they find him…"I mumble sadly.

"Not necessarily. Im working on it. Don't worry." He smiles, ruffling my hair and leaving again. I look at the photo on my bedside table of B and I five years ago, before his mother died, and I feel my eyes well up again. I let my head fall to the desk and cry for my friend. I shouldn't have let him go after he killed Alodia. I should have known he would break down. Every one he killed died because of me…

 **B**

In my dream, I am surrounded by darkness. I can hear faint crying somewhere to the left of me. It turns into screaming. I stumble forward until suddenly I am standing in a woodland area in the pouring rain. I see a figure curled up on himself by a tree, bleeding heavily from one of his arms, but he doesn't seem to have noticed.

He also doesn't see the elderly man approaching him. The man puts a hand on the child's shoulder.

"L, what's wrong?" the child, L, doesn't respond immediately. When he does, all he says is "Im sorry."

What the hell is going on? Who is this kid? He appears in my dreams frequently, but I don't know why.

"B, wake up." Kara shakes me awake gently. I sit up and look around, seeing the orange of the first morning light on the horizon.

"We should get moving." She elaborates. Soon after, we are walking, or in her case flying, further and further away from my life…

As the day drags on, I become drenched from the rain. My clothes still stained in blood. We stay just inside the woods to hide from cars, but we follow the road. Numerous times we have to stop to rest, only to start walking again towards who knows where. After the first three hours, Kara's voice snaps me to attention.

"Maybe you should just turn yourself in. I mean what are you going to do out here? Probably die." She huffs. I shake my head at her and wipe the beads of sweat from my brow.

"I can't do that. I'd rather die out here than spend the rest of my life in prison, or an asylum, which is where I would likely end up." I sigh stubbornly. I can almost feel Kara roll her eyes.

"OK, if you say so." She mumbles.

We trek on and off for about three more hours before collapsing under another sheltered area of trees to sleep. People I've never seen before enter my dreams again. This time it's a girl with beautiful green eyes and blonde/ginger hair. I don't catch her name, but she is with the boy from before, L and Coby, the one I will apparently kill. That doesn't seem so farfetched now. But one thing puzzles me. All of these people have something at common.

In every dream I and these people are living at Wammy's house…

 **A**

"You've found him? How?" I exclaim. It's been nearly a week since B killed the police and his father, so this news from Watari is very welcome.

"Do you remember when I asked you to slip that tracker into B's jean pocket? It finally activated. It's a good thing he only wears one pair of jeans. We should be able to go and get him tonight." Watari replies. I relax slightly in my chair.

"But then what? He killed all of those people…"I trail off. Watari simply smiles.

"I don't believe it was entirely his fault. And the police don't need to know."

That night Watari put on a bullet proof vest as a precaution, as well as a hypodermic needle with sedative in case B was difficult. Just before he leaves he turns to face me and holds out another bullet proof jacket.

"You should come too A. Just in case." He smiles. I shrug into the jacket, and we leave into the night.

 **B**

 ** _Hey B. wake up. Someone's coming._**

I jolt awake to see Kara's concerned face.

"Is something wrong Beyond?" She asks concernedly.

"I think someone's coming." I whisper, sitting up on my toes apprehensively.

"Stay quiet." She orders in a deadpan, before drifting in one direction to see if she can see anyone. In no time at all I can see BB as he told me he is called, or my evil figment of my imagination, perched on nearby tree branch.

 ** _They are coming B. Kill them._**

 _"_ _Who are coming?"_

 ** _It doesn't matter. Kill everyone B._**

 _"_ _No. leave me alone..."_ my voice trails off as I hear the sound of footsteps coming towards me. It's then that my schizophrenia plays up. I can make out two figures standing in front of me, but they don't look human. Their faces are morphed and twisted. Their voices make them sound terrifying and dangerous. Before long I feel a needle in my neck and unconsciousness swarms me…


	7. Chapter 7

I slowly allow my eyes to flicker open, but the bright light coming in through a large window triggers a blinding headache. I groan in irritation, but I sit up and rub my eyes. I become aware that my hands are no longer smeared in blood, and the clothes im wearing are also clean. When I open my eyes again, a thought crosses my mind.

"Wait? A window?" so im not in the woods anymore? Where am i? I scan the room with hazy vision.

To my right is a simplistic bedside table with a photo frame on it. To my left is a window looking out on the woods. The walls of the room are painted pale blue. One of the most noticeable features is the chair beside the bed which I see someone is sitting in. As my sight becomes less blurry, I see a grinning face.

"A?" I mumble. Without warning, arms are around me tightly, almost suffocating.

"You're okay! I was worried you wouldn't wake up!" A squeals excitedly. It manages to bring a smile to my face. I also notice Kara standing behind A with a ghost of a smile too.

"Wait, why wouldn't I wake up?" I ask. A moves away and laughs nervously.

"Roger put the wrong dosage of sedative in the needle. Not too much more, but still."

"Hmm. That would explain the headache." I mutter. More important questions cross my mind.

"Where are we? What's going to happen now? I killed all those people…" I ask in a sudden panic.

"Shh calm down mate," A soothes, "Watari pulled strings with the police. He told them you're insane and he's well qualified to deal with that. And the public have been told that the security footage was faked. The official story is that your father broke out of his cell with help from a friend and killed the police then himself. Only Watari, Roger and I know the truth." A sighs. Relief and remorse washes over me.

"Did you tell them about Alodia?" I murmur quietly. A nods his head.

"The police know about that too. But like I said, they were told you're insane and it wasn't your fault. Also the doctors confirmed that she was going to die anyway so that helped you."

The feeling of self-hatred floods me. I killed those innocent people… And I have no family left. Except A.

"Im so sorry A… I don't know why I did it…I couldn't stop myself and..." A cuts off my speech with a sad smile.

"Im just glad you're okay mate." He pulls me into a strong hug again. I look at the photo frame on the side. The photo is the one photo ever taken of my sister and me. I sit in front of a white background holding her. She was only a couple of days old here. Im looking at her with a happy smile, and she's returning it. How will I function without her?

 ** _2 years later_**

" _Mr and Mrs Lawliet were found dead in their home early this morning…"_ The news comes on, and I roll my eyes.

"Another murder? It's the same thing all the time." I groan, flipping over the channel. I catch A raising an eyebrow at me.

"Yes, I know that's hypocritical. Shut up." A raises his hands defensively and goes back to watching his two year old brother. Only just two years. I smile a little, but I feel sadness descend shortly. I turn my head away to find Kara looking at me sympathetically.

"Im fine Kara. Stop staring." I snap a little too harshly. She doesn't seem to care though.

"Are you sure? I know it's the anniversary of her death today. I can see it in your eyes that it's bothering you." She shrugs and turns away to stare out the window. I sigh heavily and I see A look up at me again.

"She's right you know. It's ok to be sad about it. You lost your sister B. That's not something you can just get over." He says kindly. I don't know what I did to deserve a friend like A. I certainly know what I have done to not deserve him. I let my mind wonder because I know he won't mind. He'll only listen.

"She would be six this time next month. Probably in school, working out the world for herself. Smiling…eating all the jam." A chuckles and nods his head as I let my thoughts spiral off. Pretty soon Watari walks into the room to find his coat. He looks stressed.

"What's wrong Watari?" A asks. Watari smiles at him and shakes his head.

"Nothing. It's just a case involving a child that needs my attention. I'll be back soon. Make sure Matt isn't up too late." He turns on his heel and leaves. We hear the door close.

"There will probably be a new kid soon then. Could you be nice to this one possibly B?" A asks jokingly. I never get along with new people, they put me on edge. But right now, I get a strange feeling.

"It depends…" I trail off, thinking back over the many dreams I've had over the past two years. If the new kid is who is who I think he is, this won't end well…

Another dream. As I open my eyes, I realise I am sitting against a wall with my feet chained to the floor. A strait jacket restricts my movement, but a blind fold covers my eyes. I hear a door open and someone walks in. Someone with onyx hair and dark eyes, underlined with what appears to be eyeliner, but is in fact natural under eye circles. He wears very casual clothing for the situation; a white, long sleeved shirt and baggy blue jeans. He removes my blindfold. A name comes to mind, but I know I only know that from previous dreams.

"L?" I hear the name escape my lips when I don't recall choosing to say anything. After a brief silence, l looks at my chained ankles, which for some reason are badly burnt.

"Does it hurt?" he asks.

"You could say that." I reply.

I wake up abruptly and look around me. I take deep breathes and talk to myself.

"It's ok…you're in your room. You're still at Wammys. And L probably isn't even real." BB appears on the other side of the room, making me jump. I know by now he isn't real, but still.

 **But if he is real B, he is the one who will get you arrested and killed one day.**

 _No, they were just dreams._

 **Are you sure B?**

I think before replying. I hang my head tiredly.

 _No. Im not sure._

Watari is gone for two days. In that time, life goes on s normal for the other kids at Wammys. But for me, the time goes by painfully slowly. I feel like an inmate on death row. If the new kid is the person I think he is, my dreams may come true, and not in the positive, traditional sense. A tries to reassure me that the dreams are just dreams doesn't exist. He can't possibly be responsible for my future imprisonment and death because he is a figment of my imagination.

Except he isn't.

Time freezes momentarily when I see him trailing in behind Watari. The boy from my nightmares is real. He makes eye contact with me accidently and flinches under my glare, but he doesn't look away. It must be the red eyes. I check his name and lifespan. _L Lawliet about 12 years left._ Watari nudges him gently and he snaps out of his trance.

"Come on L." Watari smiles gently. When they are out of sight I can hear my heart beat in my ears. A appears behind me, making me jump.

"Woah, calm down mate, it's just me."

I whack him with the back of my hand.

"A. Did you see him?" I ask quickly, heart still going so fast that it could fail me at any moment. A looks worried.

"Yeah, I saw him. But B, it's just a coincidence." I cut him off abruptly in a loud whisper.

"No. It isn't a coincidence, this is just how it happened in my dreams." Alejandro crosses his arms sceptically, forgetting about the state of his arms and grimacing at the sudden pain. I sigh.

"First of all, stop it, or I'll kill you myself. And secondly, everything I have dreamt about up to this point has come true. If you don't believe me, in 2 months, Watari will ask me if I've seen L, he will run into the woods and find him there with a bleeding arm." A shrugs.

"Ok. We'll see then." He smirks, rolling his eyes and starting to walk away.

"Yeah. We will." I reply harshly under my breath, walking quickly back to my room and slamming the door behind me.

 ** _Two months later_**

 **A**

"B? Have you seen L?" I hear watari ask. Moments later he passes me in the hallway quickly and goes downstairs.

When I walk into the hallway he'd just left, I find B standing by the window, leaning against the window with his arms over his chest. A smirk is on his face along with a glint of something in his eyes that I can't quite place, but I don't like it.

"What was that about?" I ask casually. B's smirk becomes clearer as he replies in a low growl.

"That was Watari looking for L who is outside, in the woods, bleeding from the arm because he's had a mental breakdown." He sneers. I look at him in confusion, waiting for him to move, but he doesn't. After 10 minutes, he turns his head away from the window.

"Oh look A! Who's that Watari is carrying?" He laughs. I move to the window casually and see that B was right. The events had played out exactly how he'd dreamed them. L is unconscious in Watari's arms and blood is seeping through his shirt. I turn to B and glare a little.

"How can I know that it wasn't you who did that to him to prove a point?" I move away from him slightly.

"A. If I had hurt him, I would have made sure he was dead. It wasn't me." He smiles, starting to walk away from the window. His eyes fix onto something in front of him that I can't see, but it almost stops him in his tracks. He chooses to ignore it and walks on. I sigh. I know it was a hallucination, but that isn't his biggest problem at the moment.

"B, I think you're losing your mind." He looks at me confused, and tilts his head to the side slightly like a puppy.

"Why would you think that?" he replies calmly, but I see his eye twitch slightly.

"You seem to enjoy other people's pain and you just said that you would have killed L. And you've been kind of distant from everyone recently…" B opens his bedroom door and holds it open for me, then moving to the window seat and laughing nervously.

"A, im not 'losing my mind'. I've been this way for years, you just hadn't noticed it yet." He smiles sinisterly. I just focus my eyes on the woods out of the window instead.

"I can't deal with this B, if you don't get a grip soon and go back to being mildly friendly, you'll be the death of me." I say in a light-hearted manner. I see B's smile fade a little. He stares out the window again.

"Yeah. Im sorry im not a great friend, thanks for sticking around for so long…just don't die on me now."

Sadness crosses his expression, and my brotherly instincts take over. I put my arms around his neck and feel him return the gesture tightly.

"I don't know what's wrong with you mate, but I'll always be here for you. I promise." I say confidently. I hear B's quiet response.

"Thank you A…"

 **Authors note: if anyone is out there reading this, _Pleeease_ leave a review. Im starting to feel lonely here :) thank you! If things in this story aren't making sense its because im referencing my other story _years gone by_ so give that a read too. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as the plot develops a bit :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Beyond**

I bolt upright and find myself shaking viciously. Another dream. I was on fire. I felt the pain as though it were real. I heard a woman's voice and woke up. But I am alone as normal. I brush my hair out of my eyes and hold my head in my hands. I laugh nervously.

"It's alright BB. It's not real…It's not real…" My voice falters. When did I start calling myself that? I shake my head, deciding I don't care. I glance at my clock. It's half six. I may as well get up.

I stumble to the shower like a zombie, nearly falling asleep under the running water. I dry off my hair and pull on a black shirt and jeans, making my way downstairs. Everyone else is in the Livingroom now, except L and A. Obviously L was locked in his room following his episode in the woods. The news is on the TV and everyone watches intensely. But everyone looks up as a small blue and white boy walks into the room apprehensively and sits on the armchair in the corner. Only he is sitting on his toes with his knees against his chest. When they don't stop staring he glares at them with dark rimmed eyes, and they look away instantly. I watch L out of the corner of my eye, listening to the news. L's face twitches at the news story.

 _"_ _The police are saying that the two victims were a couple living in an isolated cottage with their 13 year old son, Lawliett, who disappeared after the murders, but there is some evidence to suggest that he was present during the murders, and left afterwards."_ The story drags on with L looking more and more uncomfortable with each word, especially when they give a description of him. When the story finishes, someone turns the television off and everyone turns to stare at L. That was when the taunts began. L tries to explain what happened, but no one cares. The thing about living in an orphanage full of geniuses is they know exactly what to say to degrade someone to nothing. That is how they become good at interrogation. L, however left promptly. No one else was at the right angle to realise he was crying but me. But I said nothing throughout the whole incident. Then a thought crosses my mind and I smile darkly.

 ** _If this carries on, I could convince someone to kill him. Then the future where he arrests me cannot happen._** BB smiles at me nodding in approval at my thoughts. At this moment, I don't even consider that I should be disturbed at my being more and more like the future murderer that I saw all the way back in the basement, before I murdered my sister…

As the months pass, the situation with L only worsens. All but a small group of people target him, but in particular, there's Randy. One of the older kids at Wammys, and the sort of person to find any excuse to abuse someone. But I don't care. How could I? My mind is way too distorted at the moment. One day as im walking down a corridor with A, we pass Randy storming off with a furious expression. Curious, I ask what's wrong.

"That little freak kicked me. Full on roundhouse to the face. I'll give it to him, he _is_ stronger than he looks." He glowers. I find a small smile tug at the corner of my lip.

"Really? That's strange. He doesn't seem like the type to do something like that…" I smirk. I see A glance at me nervously out of the corner of my eye.

"I don't know. I still think the little runt killed his parents. So it doesn't surprise me too much." He replies, his anger ebbing away slowly. _Ha. Got ya._

I smile in mock thought, and I put my arm casually over Randy's shoulders, dragging him in the direction of an empty hallway.

"I'll catch up with you later A." I shout, closing the door. I let my smile fade, and bite my thumb nail to appear like im thinking. But I know exactly what im doing.

"I agree with you R. I don't feel safe knowing that we could be living with a murderer." I turn away so he can't see my mouth curving evilly into a smile again. Randy clears his throat.

"I see what you mean. What are you suggesting Birthday?" Yes. I have you now. Manipulation is fun.

"I suggest that you, and your friends dispose of him before anyone else is in danger. Besides, it's revenge for the kick, right?" I turn and see Randy smiling too.

"Yeah. That's a good plan…"

It kicks off two weeks later. The plan was very simple. Kill L. It doesn't matter how. But Randy and his two rather large friends choose baseball bats. I almost feel sorry for L. Almost. I leave them as they approach the hallway where L's room is located. I turn around to find Kara hovering directly in front of my face, staring into my eyes.

"What do you want?" I ask sourly, walking straight past her. She looks furious.

"What is wrong with you?!" she follows me, but I pay her no attention. I don't care what she has to say. When she won't shut up, I have no choice but to listen.

"There is nothing wrong with me! Nothing at all. I have always been this way and I want L Lawliet dead." I reply gruffly. She sighs and rolls her eyes.

"You know that won't work. You've seen his lifespan."

"It's worth a try."

I hear the sounds of faint cries and the thud of someone falling to the ground, but I don't bat an eye. This seems to wind Kara up even more.

"Why don't you care? What would your sister say if she saw what you are now?" Her cold words stop me dead in my tracks. I turn around slowly to face her, my eyes narrowed. Furious. Insane.

"Don't you dare, because it won't work. As far as im concerned, Alodia is nothing. Just one of many victims now. It's true that I loved her once. But I don't care anymore. I don't!" I yell at her, my voice rising with every word. She, however, calms down. Her voice vaguely kind. She takes a breath.

"Then why are you crying?"

 **A**

I hear the sound of heavy footsteps upstairs followed by Rogers's angry sounding voice calling everyone to the living room. Everyone stumbles in, confused, as Roger and Watari glance around the room. Quickly I note that 4 people are missing. L, randy and his two friends. Watari also notices this.

"Where are the others? I know somebody knows!" Watari shouts sternly. I hear B clear his throat next to me, and I glare at him in horror as he speaks very calmly.

"Outside, beating L up." Everyone in the room turns towards him in surprise. Except Watari who leaves the room quickly. I see the Shinigami, Kara, grimace as B speaks. Roger stares at him disgustedly for a second before also leaving the room. I Grab B by the shirt and drag him out of the room harshly.

"What?" he asks puzzled as I shut the door behind us. I find myself very tempted to break his arm at his cold words.

"What do you think B? I _know_ it was you. You sent them after him. didn't you?" I raise my voice and slam B against a wall, still holding onto his shirt. His mouth curves into a smile, apparently amused by my anger.

"So what If I did? Why do you care so much?" He sneers. I tighten my grip and lower my voice to not attract attention from the Livingroom.

"He hasn't done _anything_ to deserve this! He is not a killer, he is not remotely evil, unlike you." I scowl angrily. The smile doesn't fade from B's face, making me want to injure him even more.

"Come on A. I may be evil, but I never actually hurt the kid myself. Yet. Randy would have acted eventually anyway. I was just speeding it up." Finally my annoyance peaks and I can't stop myself-much like B now that I think about it.

I curl my fist and land a punch to his jaw, hitting his head on the wall before falling to the ground as I let go of his shirt. For a moment he just sits there, stunned, but he gathers his thoughts and turns his head back up towards me, clicking his jaw.

"You know that really hurt." He pouts sarcastically, smiling a little. In one sudden, swift movement, he swipes my feet out from under me and I too fall to the floor, hitting my head and sitting up angrily to face him.

"Now was that really necessary Alejandro? You know I would beat you in a fight, don't try me. I didn't do anything wrong. I knew that the scrawny little runt wouldn't die, I've seen his lifespan. It's just that I saw an opportunity to save myself a whole lot of trouble in the future, and I took the chance. Wouldn't you have done the same?" B's face takes on a sad, angry expression as he speaks, which I ignore. Instead I stand up and start to walk away, calling back;

"No Beyond. That's not what I would have done…" I drag my feet to my room and sit heavily on the floor with my back against a wall, after locking the bedroom door. I cross my arms over on my knees and bury my face in them, sobbing sudden, uncontrollable tears. Muttering my thoughts to myself as there is no one else to care.

"Im losing him…im losing my only friend, and there's nothing I can do to stop it…" I feel a mixture of hot, and numb. Emotional and empty. I don't know what to feel. I move my head up to stare at the ceiling, my thoughts trailing off, conjuring disturbing images in my mind. A body hanging from the ceiling. Mine. I hear a knock at the door and a quiet voice. I wipe the moisture from my face and unlock the door to see my little brother standing there, looking very concerned. I see more thought cross his eyes than that of any other two year old I have ever met. Scarily clever at such a young age…

"Why were you crying?" he asks with a tiny, sad voice knotted with worry. I force a smile and pick him up, hugging him close.

"I wasn't crying Matty. Im fine." I answer, holding back the shaking in my voice. Very calmly Matt looks me in the eyes for a moment, apparently thinking, before shaking his head and hugging me again, responding with: "its okay. I know you're not. I'll just hug you till you feel better!" he smiles lightly, I smile back sadly.

I rest my hand on the back of Matts head as he wraps his arms around me tightly humming the Mario bros theme to himself happily, forcing me to chuckle a little. _What would I do without you little brother?_ I smile and shake my head. That thought is not even worth considering. But I wonder, if Alodia were still alive, would any of this have ever happened?

Two days have passed since I spoke, or even saw B. It's unusual to not see him skulking about the house. I look around my bedroom. Milky beams of silky moonlight flood the floor through the open window.

"How long have I been sitting here?" I murmur to myself. I must have lost track of time whilst daydreaming. I shake my head, sweeping my hair out of my eyes with both hands. I sigh dejectedly.

"Not that it really matters…Nobody missed me anyway." I stand shakily and make for my door. Heading to B's room to sort out our previous conversation. I recall what B said as I trudge quietly down the corridor.

 ** _"_** ** _Come on A. I may be evil, but I never actually hurt the kid myself. Yet."_** I scowl a little as I remember it. I mutter under my breath again.

"Does he not care for _anyone anymore? And if that's true, where does that leave me?"_ Just as I finish muttering, I hear someone coming up the stairs. Who else is going to be awake at this time of night? My question is quickly answered, and being human, my breath catches in my throat as I observe his physical state. His wrist is in a cast. He is limping terribly, struggling to get up the stairs. The dark circles under his sad, drooping eyes are dark as obsidian. His face has various cuts and he has a black eye. As I watch, he stumbles and starts to fall. Instinctively, I lurch forwards and catch him, hauling him as gently as possible back to his feet.

"Are you alright?!" I ask urgently. The boy seems dazed at first, not responding.

"L?" I say tentatively. His eyes flicker over to me. He flinches away a little, but mutters,

"Thanks…" moments later Watari runs up the stairs towards us, looking slightly panicked.

"L! Are you alright?" He asks hurriedly. L looks like he wants to roll his eyes, but instead he shakes his head.

"Yes Watari. Im fine, I just stumbled, that's all." Watari relaxes a little but not much as L continues to walk.

"It's ok Watari, I'll be fine on my own. Please go to bed. You have important tasks to complete tomorrow." He sighs tiredly. Watari looks sceptical, but walks off nevertheless. I however, cannot make myself simply leave him. As he walks, I see that there is blood coming through his white shirt on his back in thin strips, and he falls again, or almost. I catch him again.

"Let me help you. Please?" I beg. I couldn't live with myself if I left him to struggle. He's weary, and flinches at first as I take one of his arms and drape it over my shoulder, but he's too tired to protest.

"It's okay, lean on me." I smile kindly. And he does. I notice how light he is. If the situation demanded it, it would be easy for someone to carry him.

"Why are you helping me?" L asks quietly, timidly. This kid is scared of everyone…and its B's fault.

"Because unlike everyone else at this stupid institution, I am human, and I can't let someone suffer knowing I can help. Which ones your room?" I finish firmly. L nods at the door at the end of a hallway, and hobbles (with my help) in through the door. I help him over to his bed and he sits down, grimacing. Then I remember:

"Your back. Its bleeding. I should take a look at it, if you'll let me?" I frown sadly. L hesitates, but quickly folds under the pain of his wounds, and nods.

"Ok then." I sigh in relief. I don't want to leave him like this, it would kill me. L takes off the blood stained shirt and flinches as I gently look over the thin gashes on his back.

"The hospital did a really poor job if you ask me. Some of your stitches have ripped." I sigh in disbelief as I clean off the blood with a damp cloth, being careful not to press to harshly on the damaged skin.

"I can do stitches. They taught us some odd skills at my old school." I find the right equipment in the first aid kit in the bathroom, including antiseptic. L cries out a little as the antiseptic works its way into the wounds, but bites his lip and sits silently as I redo the torn stitches. When im finished, L actually smiles at me a little.

"Thank you A. Really, you're the only decent human being besides Watari I have met here." I smile back standing up.

"You're welcome L. No one should be treated as they have treated you. I hope it gets better soon. You should get some rest." I say solemnly as I turn to leave the room.

"Good night A." I hear him murmur.

"Good night L." I murmur back.

Now to find Beyond, and see what the fuck is wrong with _him._

"B? You awake?" I knock on B's bedroom door gently and listen for a reply. I hear a thud on the door followed by B's voice.

"Really A? You know I don't sleep. Come in dumbass." Somewhat hesitantly I push open the door, facing the door to shut it. As I turn back, something flies past my face, so close it's touching the end of my nose as it sticks out of the door. Letting out a cry of surprise, I stare at the sleek knifes blade and turn to find B sitting against the opposite wall with a knife poised in his hand. His face holds an amused smile, eyes glinting red almost dangerously. Kara is sitting on the edge of the bed writing something in her death note. Presumably so she doesn't die anytime soon.

"What the hell B! You could have hit me!" I shriek, moving towards him, being careful to stand to the side of where the knife is pointing. His face falls a little, and he lowers the knife a little.

"Sorry A. Didn't mean to scare you. I don't miss anyway. Watch." He smiles. In two swift movements, he throws the knife forward by the blade, catching the handle between his toes, before flicking it forward and hitting the creepy voodoo doll he has pinned to the door directly in the head. I flick my eyes back to him to see he already has another knife poised between his toes, moving it backwards and forwards like a dart. Shaking my head a little I sit down on the floor next to him and watch his movements.

"Why are you knife throwing anyway?" I ask worriedly only to receive a laugh in response.

"Im just passing the time. I haven't slept in days. I can't." Another knife hits the door with a quiet thud.

"I've been seeing things more frequently since…That thing with L." B sighs, ceasing the throwing and frowning intently, twirling a blade in his hand absently. He sighs, setting the knife down and pushing his hands through his hair slowly.

"I don't know what's wrong with me…but..." He hesitates and shakes his head.

"No, tell me. What?" I press on, grabbing B's shoulder comfortingly.

"I keep having these thoughts…bad dreams...I find myself wanting to hurt people whenever I am near to them. Especially L." He stares into my eyes, but I see his eyes sway to the point above my head briefly- when he catches me watching, he hurriedly looks away. I shrug my shoulders dismissively.

"But you won't actually hurt anyone. Ever. Will you?" I ask confidently. B looks away from me to look at the ceiling. Sighing, he replies:

"No. Of course not. I will not be a monster like my father."


	9. Chapter 9

**Two years later**

Watching the ground pass by outside the moving car, I rest my head against the cold, tinted window, and sigh. Behind the wheel, Watari takes his eyes off the road briefly to glance at me.

"I honestly thought I could trust you more than that Beyond. You realise that you are already in a bad enough position with the police as it is." He sighs gruffly, waiting for a response.

Considering his point and moving my face away from the window to look at him.

"So I was supposed to let those guys get away with what they were doing? How they were treating that girl?" my voice rises quickly, angrily. Watari relies impatiently.

"No B. but starting a street fight, _with a knife_ is not how you should deal with it. You should have gone to get help." I mutter under my breath as we pull into the house,

"I didn't _kill_ them though."

Standing in front of the house, biting his nail worriedly is A. As we step out of the car he exhales loudly and steps up to meet me.

"You idiot! What were you thinking?" he yells, flailing his arms about in front of him, making me laugh, no matter how hard I try not to.

"Sorry mother." I cough, smiling and walking past him into the house.

"I can't believe you B! This is the second time this month the police have been called about you!" Ignoring A and smiling calming to myself, I tred up the stairs with my angry friend in tow. His irritated voice makes me grin wildly, amused by his annoyance. Only once we reach my room do I acknowledge him.

"They had it coming, you should have heard the things they were saying to that girl. And she looked so sad…" my voice trails off and I simply shake my head, pushing open the door.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter now, the police dropped it, so you should too." A glances at me, but I glare at him and he looks away, quietly mumbling like scolded child. I smirk approvingly and sit by the window with my knees to my chest, chewing my thumb nail and staring at a tiny spider spinning its web outside the window. The girl I saw with those men enters my mind as I stare at the tiny creature. She looked so sad, but that was before the men even said anything. It was something else. I wished, in that moment, that I could have helped with whatever was the real problem…

 **The night before-around 10:30**

The street lamps cast a sort of cold orange, if that's possible, on the almost empty cobble street. I walk hunched over with my hands in the pockets of my black body warmer, and the cold night air stinging my cheeks. It's only the second time in two year that I have seen the town, I never leave the orphanage, and the last time I did, I was arrested for telling a police officer they were going to die soon.(I couldn't help it, it was just so tempting to see the old git erupt into anger. But he did accuse me of terrorism.)Now that I've been let out again, I absently make the decision to visit my old house. Kara tells me that nothing inside has been moved, at Watari's request, and so it is deserted. Upon pushing open the unlocked door I am greeted by a musty smell. It's obvious that no one has been here since the police checked it out and I left. Papers are strewn over the floor and a vase lies smashed on the floor with an empty vodka bottle. A fine layer of dust coats the coffee table in the living room, and the rims of many beer bottles. As I walk across the room over dust and glass I hear the wind shriek through the vents and the front door banging wildly on its hinges. The room is dark, but light enough that I can see a single photo frame lying face down on the floor. Shivering slightly, I pick up the frame and watch glass fall from it onto the floor with a quiet thud, cushioned by the dusty carpet. Hesitantly I flip over the frame and remove the photo within it with a furrowed brow and a mouth curved downwards slightly. Looking up at me is three smiling faces and a sleeping baby. My mother and father stand behind a black armchair, with her slender arms and his strong muscles placed on the shoulder of a young boy with wild black hair and a brilliant smile. In my arms, asleep is my baby sister, her frail head supported by my hand.

I smile gently at the image, but my thoughts become clouded and melancholy, and the smile fades. I still tuck the photo into my pocket and move out into the hallway and up the stairs. I rest my hand hesitantly on a door handle. Taking a breath, I enter.

Kara stands in the corner of the room watching me with weary eyes. I frown as I look around my sister's room. Stuck to the walls are drawings in brightly coloured crayon of animals, Kara and me. One is of two raven haired figures with red eyes holding hands, with a random jam jar drawn at their feet. Smiling to myself again, I turn my back on Kara and sit on the floor in the middle of the room.

"Why did you come back here?" Kara asks curiously, hovering just above the ground. Looking to the ceiling, I reply quietly.

"I thought it might be a good idea to try and remember the good things about my life, before I go completely mad. Im already half way there." I hear Kara sigh and crack her neck, before moving to the place where im sitting, and sitting next to me.

"I think that's true, I think I should have killed you long ago, before you got like this." She monotonously drones, tracing patterns of the ground with her bony fingertips. I mimic her action.

"Then why haven't you?"

She glances at me sadly before turning her eyes upwards.

"Because I can't let go of that little boy running scared in the woods. I saved you then, and I vowed to take care of you." She pauses and stands, moving towards the window.

"And I will. Finish looking around and let's go. This place is more haunted then the Shinigami realm."

 **Around 11:10**

The sky now is icy black, and the street is still more or less deserted. The clouds flutter and explore with chilling rain, running down my face and neck. Shivering, I pull my head up and look to the ground. Walking onwards. I hear voices and I snap my head up. The street isn't as empty as I thought. Three men, about 19, walking up the street towards me, stalking a young girl. I quickly deduce that she is about 15 years old. I see her name and lifespan but I brush it off as unimportant. What matters is that she is crying and the men are speaking to her, laughing threateningly.

I cannot describe the disgusting things they say to her, but she doesn't seem to be paying them much attention. She looks distant, with glazed green eyes shimmering with tears. I notice that she has a cut on her lip and another above her eyebrow. Kara looks too at the girl and tilts her head, reading my mind.

"I wonder if it was the, who injured her. Are you going to do something?" I nod once sharply and move into the shadows. It is then that I hear the girl cry out, panic fills her eyes. One man holds her hand behind her, another has the other, and the last one has two hands clamped tightly over her mouth as she struggles to scream. The one to the girls left grabs a shard of glass from a bottle and holds it to the girls face, cutting lightly into her cheek.

A memory hits me in the face. A hand over my nose and mouth as I try to scream. The air not reaching my lungs renders me in inky black unconsciousness. And I wake up to bruises and blood in my hair.

From where I stand, hidden, I throw a knife with such precision that it hits the hand over the girl's mouth right between the knuckles. He lets out a blood curdling scream and falls to the ground in pain. The girl is already unconscious. The other two men look around in panic as their friend screams at the top of his lungs. I smirk, hitting another in the knee. By this point all three have released their hold on the girl, and her head is rested on Kara's hand to break the fall. She is slowly lowered to lie flat. The final man looks to the shadows on the opposite side of the street to me dumbly. I grin devilishly and step out of the shadows, my hood pulled up and over my face.

"I don't know about you, but this is pretty fun!"


	10. Chapter 10

The man, whose name I see is Rick, turns around quickly and meets my eyes. In the darkness, the red contrasts with the surroundings with a sinister glow. Rick narrows his eyes at me and sways drunkenly.

"Who, Who are you?" He stutters nervously. I flash my teeth at him in a smile.

"What are you? And owl?" I laugh sarcastically, mimicking his shaking voice. I stare him in the eyes as I walk forward, throwing a knife towards him, hitting him in his knee. He collapses to the floor and goes to scream, but I cover his nose and mouth until he falls unconscious. All three men are on the floor, breathing, but unmoving other than the ragged rise and fall of their chests. I frown at them angrily, kicking the last man in the ribs as I move quickly towards Kara and the girl, who is out cold. After checking on her lifespan and determining that she's okay, I weigh my options.

"I'll be arrested for this, but watari will help me out. Anyway, we can't leave her here." I sigh, staring at the girl's gentle, rosy cheeked face, my head tilted to the side. I use my sleeve to remove the tears from her face, seeing Kara give me a look I reply,

"Shut up. She'd get cold else." She shrugs, smirking and turning away. Flicking her my middle finger I smile back and turn to the girl again. After another moments thought, I hook my arm under her legs and the other across her back, carrying her bridal style. As I start walking an image flashes to my mind. A girl reminiscent of this one hangs limply in the arms of a boy stained in blood and dirt. Tears stream down his face. He arrives at a house, one that looks familiar. And a familiar man gasps in shock as the crying boy walks on past him with the girl, not breathing, unmoving, a crimson flower spreading through her shirt and onto his already blood stained hand. I shake my head, _back to reality Beyond. You have to get this girl to the police._ So that's what I do. The police recognize the girl, and after telling them what happened truthfully, im arrested for the stabbings. (When I say truthfully, they didn't know I threw the knives. Hehe.) Later on that night whilst im in the small holding cell, the door opens with a creak and the girl walks in. She smiles at me gently.

"May I?" She smiles. I smile tiredly.

"But of course." She walks over delicately sitting beside me. She looks me in the eyes without fear as most people do. Suddenly, she wraps her arms around me, hugging me tight and whispering through tears.

"Thank you for this. You don't even know me. You didn't have to help." She pulls back with her hands on my shoulders. I shake my head.

"Yes I did. What sort of a person wouldn't help? I couldn't have let them hurt anyone like that with no good reason. Please don't worry about it." Her smile fades a little, but doesn't completely disappear. She appears to be thinking in great depth about something. I break her out of the trance.

"Im Beyond Birthday." She shakes my hand lightly, grinning again.

"I'm Elsie Keehl." After a pause she laughs a little before saying:

"Im told you come from Wammys house right?" I nod. She looks upwards, smiling.

"Nice to meet you, _B."_

 **Present**

I let my arm hang limply over the side of my bed as I stare up at the swirled patterned ceiling above me. My mind wonders away from me- back to the lamp lit street. The cool feel of a knifes blade, then the warm cheek of the girl, alive because of me. My lip curves in a smile as I remember that. As much as Watari tries to convince me that I did wrong, I saved her.

My thoughts are interrupted suddenly by the faint sound of jagged breathing contrasting against the silence. Someone is crying in the hallway. I roll off the bed onto my feet, walking quietly to the door, pressing an ear to it to listen. By the way the person's feet shuffle along the floor slowly, not muffled by socks or shoes, tells me who this person is. As he approaches I open the door just enough to see into the hallway. L doesn't notice, holding his arms close to him by the elbows, his shoulders shaking as he disappears into another dimly lit corridor. Curiously I step out of the room and retrace L's steps back to where he had been, and find blood in the bathroom sink accompanied by a bandage covered with dried blood in the bin not-so-subtly buried under clean tissues. Kara leans against the wall watching me with an unreadable expression, typical of a Shinigami, as my eyes remain fixed on the diluted pink blood trickling away. As I stand there, transfixed, I begin to question whether saving that girl meant anything. Out loud, I voice my thoughts.

"It didn't change anything Kara. Im still a bad person. Aren't I? Im still just a crazy, unwanted creature meant for nothing but tormenting others." I turn to see her reaction. She simply shakes her head and stands up straight, turning around.

"Well Beyond. At least you can acknowledge it. At least you know that this is partly your doing," She faces me briefly with a pained expression, "Unfortunately, I see no remorse in your eyes. You don't care. And you know it." And as she leaves me alone, I realise that she's right, and I start to laugh…

 **A**

"Im worried about you A, you can't go on like this." Watari pleads worriedly. I rest my cheek on the cold wooden desk, replying nonchalantly.

"Why not? Why does it even matter? Leave me alone." Watari sighs and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms.

"You're a danger to yourself. I can't, as the one charges with taking care of everyone here, allow you to stay this way. That would be irresponsible. You will see a Councillor and you will be required to report to the nurse every day to check that you haven't hurt yourself." I absently flick a small ball of paper across the desk and acknowledge what's been said only with a slight sigh. I stand and leave the room in the manner of a zombie with a slowed pace and my head slightly to the side. I can't find any motivation to lift it. Or to see a Councillor. They won't be able to help anyway. As I shuffle down the stairs, I see the door open with the whistling of strong wind following the two people who walk in. The door slams shut as Roger removes his coat. The other person follows his lead and hangs her coat up too. Roger turns to the girl and smiles lightly.

"You'll be fine once you get to know some people. Don't fret too much my dear. Come on now." The girl nods shyly and smiles back, stepping delicately into the house further. Roger sees me and his smile fades a little. Probably my sullied demeanor. But at the same time, I hear another set of footsteps come from the living room. We all turn to see who it is, and as he enters, B stops in his tracks, surprised. The girl smiles brightly at him.

"Hi again B!" B smiles back confused.

"E-Elsie? What are you doing here?" He stutters. She only laughs.

"I've got to live here from now on." By this point I've walked over to stand beside B.

"You know her?" I ask curiously. B nods.

"She's the girl I helped the other night." Elsie laughs again.

"Hi, Im Elsie keehl, nice to meet you!" She smiles, holding out her hand. I shake it gently and force myself to return the smile.

"Im Alejandro Jeevas, but everyone just calls me A." She nods and skips from foot to foot, her long auburn hair flowing down her back under a grey beanie.

"A and B? Should be easy to remember. I'll see you guys later." She calls excitedly as she follows Roger out of the room. B and I give each other a side glance. I break the silence.

"She's crazy isn't she?"

"Absolutely insane." B agrees. He adds "And that's saying something coming from me."


	11. Chapter 11

**B**

Besides the brief exchange when Elsie first arrived, I haven't talked to her. In fact, I make a conscious effort to stay away from her-I don't understand girls at all. However, one day I can't help but to interact with her, and surprisingly, L too.

Before classes, I sit with A and Matt in the living room. Matt staring down at some video game with immense concentration, and A staring blankly at a wall like he's seen a ghost-something he does a lot now. I simply bite the sleeve of my black t-shirt idly until I hear a loud thud upstairs. Curiously, and perhaps out of boredom, I leave the room to see what's going on.

I get to the corridor, peering around the corner. Unsurprisingly, a couple of boys are there- One pinned to the wall by the other, significantly larger boy. L, of course being the one against the wall, has blood running down the left side of his head from a small cut on his eyebrow. But to my surprise, L tilts his head, even laughing a little, but sadly.

"What did I do this time? It would be interesting to know." He coughs from the boys grip on his throat.

"I don't have to explain myself to you." The other boy-(Jack, to die in 50 years,) growls back. L shrugs

"Fair enough. Go ahead and snap my neck or something then. As you lack the intelligence to realise that im used to this by now and it doesn't even hurt." He coughs violently again. Jack smirks.

"Then why are you coughing? Surely this grip hurts." L stares at him, and with a straight face replies:

"Im coughing because im allergic to idiocy. Being so close to it makes my throat swell up." Jacks face contorts angrily. He promptly punches L in the jaw. It's at that moment that another person appears in the hallway. She stands there at the end of the corridor for but a brief second, noticing that im there. Her eyes flick back as Jack goes to take another swing at L, who looks nearly unconscious. She runs at Jack, deflecting his punch by putting her whole weight on his arm, and twisting it behind him quickly. Breathing heavily from the effort it took, she leans closer to Jacks ear.

"I can smell the alcohol on you. If they weren't going to send you away for that, they will for this. You stupid troll." Jack struggles against Elsie's grip, managing to get free, and dumbly going for L again, whose head is rested weakly against the wall behind him.

Despite my hatred for L, an instinct kicks in, like when I saved Elsie. I launch myself at Jack. Im stronger than Elsie, so I easily grab jack and punch him in the face, bringing him to the floor. I turn calmly to Elsie, who looks bewildered, then at the unconscious L.

"Take him to Watari, I'll sort this fucker out." She nods pulling L to his feet and putting his arm over her shoulder, disappearing down the hall. I do exactly what I said. I don't hurt him seriously, but I do keep him down until Watari comes to deal with the issue. Jack is sent away promptly, and L was already unconscious when Elsie and I stepped in, so doesn't know about it.

Elsie and I decide to pretend it never happened. Simply because I don't want everyone to ask questions, and L just sits in his room alone again. I feel a surge of sympathy towards him, which im grateful for. At least im not a complete monster. Yet.

 _"_ _Beyond? Are you okay? Oh my god! Wake up! Wake up!" My sister cries terrified, holding my face between her tiny hands. My stomach is dripping warm blood down my sides in crimson trails from a gaping wound. A knife still stuck there. I try to open my eyes. Desperately wanting to tell her that im okay, that I'll be fine, but I can't find the energy to as much as blink. Maybe I shouldn't have struggled when he slammed me against the wall, I could have saved my strength to run away. But I was scared and didn't think straight, and he stabbed me. I start to drift unwillingly into hazy sleep, forcing myself to stay awake. Forcing my eyes open, but everything is blurry. I hear Alodia call an ambulance. While she is doing so, Kara kneels by me, stroking my hair comfortingly._

 _"_ _You'll be alright B, I promise. Just concentrate on staying awake ok?" She soothes. I nod weakly. As the paramedics come through the door, so does someone else. A's eyes widen in shock at the scene whilst im lifted into an ambulance, of which, he and Alodia both come in too. The paramedic gets to work bandaging around the knife, and asks me what happened. I hesitate. I know I can't tell them the truth. Father would be furious._

 _"_ _The knife was sticking out of the draw and I fell into it." I lied. She looks as me suspiciously, but doesn't say anything else except,_

 _"_ _We'll have to question your father, he shouldn't be leaving two young children at home by themselves." A gives me a sympathetic look and hugs Alodia as she cries quietly into his shoulder._

A has always been there for me. But I see him in pain every day and have no idea how to help.

I sit in silence, playing darts with Matt, who occasionally looks over at me and sighs, like he wants to say something. On his turn he gets the dart in the bulls-eye. I smile at him.

"Nice shot Matty." He smiles lightly back but doesn't look to be feeling it at all. I frown and tilt my head a little, analysing him.

"What's wrong Matt?" I ask gently. Matt is one of the only people im never aggressive with. I spend a lot of time around him now that A spends more and more time locked away or in counselling. So I can tell when something is wrong. But as I ask the question, and think about it, I know what he's going to say.

"I never see him anymore…He won't speak to me…He doesn't even notice when im there." He whimpers, lowering his head to hide his tears. I bite my lip to hold back the sudden anger I feel at A. He still has family and he won't even acknowledge him? I'd do anything to have mine back. Except my father. I move closer to Matt and hold out my arms to him. He falls against me sobbing with shaking shoulders as I hold him-the only thing I know how to do to comfort someone.

"I know Matt, I know…He'll feel better soon. Im sure he will." Trying to sound reassuring, I cradle him until he stops crying.

"Thank you B…" He mumbles shyly, wiping the tears from his eyes and throwing another dart.

Later on as I walk through the hallways after putting Matt to bed, I bump into Elsie rushing through the hallway.

"Oh im so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going!" She proclaims, out of breath. I shake my head and laugh.

"It's fine. Where are you rushing of to anyway?" I ask curiously. She looks around hesitantly.

"Im following L. I saw him take off into the woods. Im worried about him. I heard him have an argument with Watari." I frown a little, but correct it with a smile hoping she doesn't notice.

"Oh, ok. See you later then." She nods and runs off again shouting as she disappears down the corridor.

"Yeah see you later!"

I frown again when she's out of sight and lean against the wall, looking up at the ceiling. Kara looks from where Elsie just was to where im standing with a smirk.

"You like her don't you?" I glare at her.

"No. of course not." She raises her eyebrow at me.

"Fine. Maybe I do…" I confess in a gentler tone. Kara smiles and nods.

"But she seems taken with this L kid doesn't she." Kara taunts almost. I silence her with another glare and a harsh sigh.

"Yes I know. Don't rub it in. Anyway, I don't want anything to do with her, or anyone else. We both know I'd only ruin their life." I push away from the wall and continue on down the hallway.

"Besides, I have other things to deal with."

 **4 months later- A**

I stare at the pills in my hands. Stolen from the medicine cabinet in Watari's office. I can't believe how stupid these people are. I laugh a little manically. I'll be dead soon. This will all be over. Tears stream down my face. Im not in my room as usual. It would be too easy to find me once they realize the pills are missing. So I sit on the roof where no one usually goes. As I sit there simply staring at the pills, someone else appears on the roof. I don't know him, but I do recognise him. Distinctive white hair. Grey eyes full of sadness. Skin unnaturally pale from never seeing sunlight and bruises peeking out from his sleeves-like he looked when he looked all those years ago in school when he asked if B was ok. That was the day B couldn't walk properly from all the beatings. Coby Rivers.

"Alejandro? What are you doing?" he yells as I go to swallow the pills before he can stop me. Im not quick enough. Coby runs at me grabbing my arm and knocking away the tablets. I scowl at him.

"Why did you do that?" I growl angrily. Coby blinks confused. Panting from the sudden run over the wide roof.

"What? You think I would _let_ you kill yourself? Dumb moron." He tugs me to my feet and drags me away from the roofs edge as I try to jump off as plan B. I keep struggling as he yells for help. Minutes later the first people passing by to hear me are L and Elsie, and they climb the hatch to the roof, both grabbing onto me and pulling me back inside. I lose control of my actions. Frantically struggling. Soon enough there is an audience of people gathered around to see what's going on. I hear L sigh. Now a famous detective, L tends to carry handcuffs around just in case he ever goes out to solve a case in person. My hands are restrained and I feel a needle piercing my skin. As I fall unconscious I hear L speak gently.

"You helped me once before A. I don't intend on letting you die."

The last thing I see is Matt and B running towards me from the crowd…


	12. Chapter 12

The light breaking into the room through the window rests on my eyelids as I slowly wake up. I open my eyes and stare straight upwards, flicking my eyes slightly to the security camera in the corner of the room and sighing. I knew this would happen. I slowly push myself off the bed onto shaky legs waiting for the sedative to fully wear off. When my sight is clear, I look at my surroundings. Through the window I can see that im still at Wammys. But im in a white room with cushioned walls and floor- not exactly a padded cell as it has a window and a bed. But it's safer than a normal room. The window is locked and barred on the outside.

"So I can't jump…" I mumble under my breath.

Only now that im completely awake do I realise that my movement is restricted. I try to move my arms but find them strapped across me in a white jacket. I groan irritated.

"This can't be happening! How long are they going to keep this up?" I kick a wall in frustration but of course it's padded so it doesn't do much good. I calm down and quickly put on my stoic expression, falling to the floor and laying on my back with my reddish hair spread behind my head like a bloodied halo. I turn my head to the camera and breathe shakily.

"You know this won't do anything. You'll have to let me go eventually and when you do, I'll ty again." I laugh out loud. I hear a click and a voice answers me through a small speaker by the camera.

"But why A? Why are you so desperate to leave me?" Matt cries as I seize up with guilt.

"I...i..." I start to stutter, but I stop when the door opens with a small creak and Matt walks in with B by his side. They kneel by my side and B smiles sadly, shaking his head and pulling me to him suddenly in a hug.

"It's not that Matt. A loves you very much. He just needs time to realise that he has people who care. People he should talk to," He pauses and moves away to put an arm around Matts shoulder,

"And if he doesn't, I may just kill him myself."

Matt

"When are you gonna let him go! He won't do anything! I won't let him!" B yells across the desk at Watari who sighs impatiently but remaining sympathetic in his tone.

"You know we can't risk that B. Im sorry, but A has to stay where he is." The elderly man replies tiredly, rubbing his temples. B slams his hand down on the desk, making me jump and drop the video game Im playing. I pick it up with shaking hands and pretend to carry on playing, whilst im actually just listening to the conversation.

"Fuck that! Let him go or I swear I will fucking murder you!" B growls loudly. Watari takes no notice of the threat, instead glancing over in my direction with worried eyes.

"Keep your voice down Beyond, Matt doesn't need to hear your pathetic outbursts." He asserts calmly. This winds B up even more and he starts to pace, crazed look in his red eyes that remind me of my brothers scars and his raven hair ruffled ten times more than usual. Watari's eyes soften a little.

"B, when's the last time you had a good night's sleep? You're starting to look like L when he refuses to sleep for weeks." B sits down heavily in the chair in front of the desk and rests his head on his hands.

"About the same time you locked up A." He yawn fittingly. Watari smiles and stands up, walking towards me and ruffling my hair gently.

"I know you two are worried about A, but I promise that this is what's best for him at the moment. He appears to be making process with the Councillors. Another month and he should be good to go. All you can do is help him realize that he has people who care, and get some sleep. Okay?" Watari pushes open the door and walks out. B replies faintly to no one- "Yeah, I suppose..."

I tilt my head and crawl over to B, grabbing his arm that's hanging off the chair and hugging it. B looks down at me and smiles, holding me with his other hand for a while. Eventually we both stand and leave the room to go to bed. Once alone in my room I crawl onto my bed and cry silently into my pillow. Until I fall asleep.

I dream that im alone in a meadow full of black flowers. Cold rain falls around me. As I walk forward, towards a tree by a river, I know im being watched. No figure appears before me. Only a voice from somewhere around me. It could be in front, behind or to either side of me, but it seems to be in all of those directions all at once. The voice is female, or male. It's smooth and hoarse all at once. Like the universe is talking to me.

"Why are you crying Matt?" it asks sadly. I sit down by the tree and lean against it. I stare at the river as the river, slowly rises from the rain as I speak.

"I feel so alone. A is going to die. I can feel it. I have a bad feeling about what will come after. Especially with B." The water rises over my toes, but I stand still with the rain plastering my crimson hair to my cheeks, quivering with tears. As I continue to speak the mysterious voice speaks through me. The same words in every voice possible, all at once.

"I feel like im drowning in the sorrow that will come, the despair that has happened and I know, eventually the evil raven will emerge to kill the gentle dove, and the terror that follows will drag many down too. The evil raven will claim it's written in the numbers. Nothing can ever change it. It's too much for such a small child to deal with. Careful Mail Jeevas. Don't let your loneliness drop you into the arms of the evil raven. For he will kill your friend.

The water of the river rises to my eye level. I close my eyes and let the water drag me under, pulling me into the depths of my mind to try and puzzle out the latest cryptic message delivered though my dreams…

B

I stand in Matt's doorway leaning against the wall quietly listening as he talks in his sleep, having failed to fall asleep myself. I frown as I hear his clear words: "eventually the evil raven will emerge to kill the gentle dove." It makes me think of that vision I had all those years ago in the basement. A white figure, like a dove, dead by my hands, darkness. The evil Raven.

"Seems that Matt has had the same vision as me. Maybe in a more cryptic form though. The only thing that doesn't make sense to me, is why would I ever kill Coby?" I turn to Kara, whispering as I leave the room and close the door. She shrugs her shoulders and answers nonchalantly.

"B, I honestly don't know why you do anything anymore. Now go to sleep." I sigh in return and go back to my room to try sleeping again, but my dreams are plagued by scenes of murder and despair at my hands…

When morning comes I go straight to the observation room to ask to see A. Watari gives me the code to open the door and goes away to run an errand. I go inside to find A calmly reading a book on his bed. He looks up at me as I enter and smiles at me lightly.

"They took off the jacket, finally, my arms were starting to go numb." He puts down the book and holds his arms out in front of him to prove the point. As they've made him wear a short sleeved shirt, I can see what must be hundreds of scars all up his arms and wrists. All the way around. I force myself to stop staring and A drops his arms.

"So, are you feeling better now?" I ask cautiously. A shrugs a little and glances at the camera. I see what he means by it and I shake my head.

"No one's listening. And anyway, last night before I checked on Matt I snuck into the observation room and broke the speaker-microphone thing." A nods at the reply and relaxes his face into its neutral frown.

"A bit. But not as much as they think-They'd never let me go if they have even a tiny reason to believe that I'll try again." He looks down as he speaks, ashamed to meet my eyes.

"Well will you?" I frown. A doesn't reply. He looks up at me and catches me smirk. He lowers his eyebrows at me.

"What are you smirking at?" I laugh at him quietly.

"A, you know I can see your lifespan. If you plan to try anything, I'll know about it and lock you in a cupboard." A rolls his eyes and lies back in his bed.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Or B, another idea, lend me that notebook and let me die of an accident or something. No one would ever know." A smiles jokingly. I grin and shake my head.

"I can't anyway. I asked Kara to hide it so I'd never be tempted to use it."

"Shame." A replies. "Fucking hell, im so tired. It's hard to sleep knowing that you're being watched. And I've been having weird dreams." I smile sadly, knowingly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Must be something in the air." I mentally add in my head: Or something in the future. I sigh and try to forget about it. But all the different dreams I've been having are difficult to forget when I know they are visions of what's to come. I hear the voice inside my head again laughing.

Come on B. It will happen eventually... We both know you will be responsible for A's death, then the Dove, then soo many more. It's gonna be fun.

Two Years Later (Age 17)

I watch disinterestedly as the front door opens, and two new kids enter. I check their lifespans out of habit, and by default, their names two. The more boisterous of the boys runs in and skids, nearly crashing into a door. He has blonde/ginger hair and striking azure eyes-a wide grin plastered on his face. I smile-Just like his sister. Miheal Keehl. I guess that he's about 8 years old.

The smaller boy, who looks to be six, is much calmer as he trails in behind Watari. He twirls a lock of his snow-white hair around his finger, and clutches an almost nightmarish puppet in the other arm. His silvery eyes land on me, cold and calculating, before turning his head slowly, mumbling something to himself and walking off. A mini clone of his brother. Nate River.

I myself simply sit on the stairs with my head leaning against the banister, pressing my fingers on the throwing knife in my pocket until I feel warm blood trickling over my skin. I stare blankly at the boys as Matt comes into the room and introduces himself to them, instantly getting along with Miheal. Kara looks down at me, blatantly noticing the blood on my hands as I remove my hands from my pocket, but choosing to ignore it.

"Looks like Matt has a new friend. He won't need you anymore." She sighs bluntly. I nod in reply and stand to go upstairs.

"I don't care. I don't need anyone anyway..." I mutter, pushing my hands back into my pockets and nudging open my bedroom door with my shoulder. Kara looks puzzled.

"Why would you say that? You still have A." I roll my eyes and walk to my draws to take out a small medical kit, in which is a needle and thread, smearing blood both on the draw handles, and the box. I wipe the blood on my jeans and look at the cuts. Kara does the same.

"Those are deep B. Why did you do that?" I smile and laugh, walking to the mirror. I put my bleeding hand over the right hand side of my face, dragging red streaks from my hairline to my collarbone. I laugh again.

"Don't you love the contrast of blood against pale skin? I do. And the pain reminds me that im not dead. It definitely feels like it sometimes." I walk over to my bed and thread the needle, not even grimacing as I push the needle into my already raw skin and pull the channels of blood together. When im finished I use a shirt off my floor and a bottle of water to wash the blood away from my face and hands. I also change out of my bloodied clothes before sitting on my floor with my head against my bed, listening to my dark inner thoughts. With A in his current state, there's no one to talk to about them anymore, but hallucinations and visions occur more and more often now. Often cryptic, or so clear that I don't want to believe it. So I let myself zone out.

All I really want to do is kill somebody. I mull over different scenarios in my head for entertainment. I laugh to myself as I think of different things I could incorporate into a murder. I've had this great idea about using the victim's body as a clock to give clues about the next murder. Im not crazy. Im not a psychopath. But of course, that's exactly what a psychopath would say.

After a while I simply fall asleep, swimming in my own dark imagination.

Matt

"There's something weird about him. I don't know what it is, but I don't like it." Miheal seethes, storming down the hallway as I hurry to catch up.

"Chill Mells. He is a little strange, but aren't we all? Don't be so judgemental." Mello (as he prefers to be called) rolls his eyes and dramatically throws open the living room doors, throwing himself onto a sofa.

"Well yeah, But I mean, What's with the bloody puppet?!" He exclaims. I laugh at him, sitting next to him.

"I don't know. Near isn't that bad. I think he'd be nice if you got to know him." Mello looks at me sceptically, but simply shrugs.

"Yeah whatever Matt. Anyway, who's that kid you were talking to earlier at lunch? The one with the cat scratches." He asks with a mouthful of chocolate that he seemly got from nowhere.

Cat scratches? Oh.

"He's my brother. But he never speaks to me. I was just checking on him…" I trail off. Mello seems to understand that I don't want to talk about it and changes the subject a hundred more times before running off to find his sister to present his brilliant idea for a new chocolate bar.

I sigh through my teeth, blowing scarlet hair out of my eyes before sliding off the sofa to lie on my back on the blue carpeted floor, much like a corpse. I smirk. Ironic that I would say that-when I was filled with life not so long ago. I talk to myself out loud as no one else is here to listen.

"With Miheal as my only friend, im screwed. As great as he is, he has the attention span of a dead cat." I smile sadly. I jump as I hear a voice from the doorway that I don't recognise.

"I agree. He really is a most annoying child. Waaay to hyperactive. For Near anyway." I sit and turn around quickly to see who spoke. I jump back a little in shock as I didn't expect such a deep voice to belong to the person who had spoken. Never the less, I reply politely.

"Oh. Hello Near. I didn't know anyone was listening." As I speak, Near's mouth curves slightly into an uncharacteristically creepy smile. Near is known to be a very gentle, relatively quiet boy who only speaks to three people. His brother Coby, L and Elsie. But the times I've heard him speak, his voice is soft. Not at all how he sounds now.

"Oh not to worry. Near's not listening at all." He smiles, flicking a strand of hair off his face and staring at me in an unsettling way. I stand up and back off just a little.

"Why are you referring to yourself in third person? You're creeping me out." My voice quivers. As I speak, Near tilts his head and smiles wider.

"Near would be angry if I told you. But maybe I should. Near's irritating anyway." He starts to laugh, but stops midway and gasps falling to his knees. He starts to hit his head with tiny, curled up fists and furiously whispering, now in his normal voice.

"Shut up! Shut up Mello!" I lower my brow in confusion, but I step towards Near slowly, kneeling in front of him. He continues to hit himself on the sides of his head, his voice switching between normal and this "Mello" in a sort of argument. I realise that now's not the time to ask questions, so instead, I grab Near's wrists gently. He stops speaking, instead staring down at my hands with glossy eyes.

"Please don't do that Near. You'll hurt yourself. I won't ask if you don't want me to. We all have our secrets here. Just calm down ok?" Near slowly looks up at me and slowly nods. I release his wrists and sit on my heels. I smile kindly at him.

"What were you in here for anyway?" I ask tentatively. Near looks down shyly.

"I was watching you and Miheal. You seem like such good friends…im sorry. It was rude of me." He hangs his head. I laugh lightly.

"It's okay. Let me guess. Some problem in your past stopped you from ever making friend's right?" Near nods his head lightly.

"Yeah, pretty much…" He answers quietly. I smile.

"I'll be your friend. But I'd stay away from Miheal. He's got a weird idea that your crazy or something." I grin. Near smiles back.

"Well, obviously he's not wrong." I add. He rolls his eyes.

"Yeah well you were talking to yourself. That's a sign of madness."

"I guess you're right." I laugh standing and helping Near off the floor.


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors note: i think there are quite a lot of mistakes in this chapter-sorry for that. It's also very long but never mind. If you're reading please leave a review. (though not many people read my stories-i understand-there reallly long. Anyway, i'll shut up now. Enjoy!)**

 **B**

With an emotionless face, I watch A punch a wall. His knuckles split open with dark blood. His face crumpled in anger. Kara leans over to whisper to me.

"Why aren't you stopping him?" I shrug my shoulders.

"This is the most active he's been in months. Who am I to stop him? Anyway," I smile, "It's entertaining how pathetic he is." Without stopping A snarls at me.

"I can hear you two, you know!" I sigh and walk over to him, leaning against the wall and watching his face as he tires and rests his forehead to the wall.

"You done being stroppy now?" I mock, earning a glare from A. But he huffs as a reply and slides to the floor. I sit beside him, taking out a bandage from my jacket pocket and grabbing A by the wrist. Despite his protests, I also clean and wrap his hand. Whilst I do, A rests his head against the wall and sobs. I restrain myself from rolling my eyes.

"Why didn't you let me do it? What's the point in me living like this anymore?" He sulks, to which I sigh tiredly.

"What A? You think I, or anyone in fact would let you shoot yourself in the face? In fact, where the hell did you get a gun?" I gesture to the pistol that Kara has hanging from one of her skeletal hands. My friend shakes his head and raises his voice hysterically.

"It doesn't matter where I got it. But you should have let me die. I've had enough Beyond. I don't have anything to live for anymore!"

Suddenly, I feel my temper boiling over. I stand up and glare at A, clenching my fists.

"What am I to you then Alejandro? What's Matt?! Fuck all! How dare you say you have nothing to live for when im standing over here, pulling a gun from your fucking hands because without you, My life is completely meaningless!" My voice raises with every word. My body visibly shaking. A's face drops. He slowly stands up and inches closer to me.

"Don't say that..." He starts weakly. I cut him off, yelling now.

"Why not A? Everyone is so focused on you, and L, that they've forgotten I even exist. They don't know about my visions, or my sleepless nights where I wake up in a panic because I've dreamt that you're dead. Everyone I've ever cared about has left me, so you decided to drift away to." I see the shocked look on his face and I turn away to hide the tears I didn't know I could cry anymore. I lower my voice.

"What am I left with A? Cursed eyes, a demon, nightmares and corpses." A tries to reach out to me, but I flinch away.

"Don't…Don't touch me. You're practically a corpse." I look at him in horror, feeling my chest tighten. His numbers are decreasing. I start struggling to breath. Kara looks worried and steps towards me letting me lean on her arm.

"What's wrong B?" she looks at A and realises, not saying another word. I push her away gently.

"Im fine Kara…" Kara backs away, but only a little, like a nervous mother. I let A see my tears, not bothered about it anymore.

"You know what A? Do what you want. I don't want you to die, but im tired of protecting you when you obviously don't give a damn about anyone but yourself. If you try to kill yourself again, don't look for me to stop you." I walk to the door and flash him my glossy crimson eyes. "I won't be there." I slam the door behind me walking straight to my room and locking the door. Collapsing onto Kara's shoulder and crying silently as she smooths my hair and tries to comfort me. After a long time, I walk over to me bed and crawl under the covers without changing, facing the wall until I fall asleep.

Upon waking the next morning with a sense of dread hanging over me, it takes all my strength not to just go back to sleep. Dragging myself from my bed and changing into clean clothes identical to the black shirt and jeans I slept in, I try to keep my face stoic, cold-like I feel.

"I have to pretend I don't know anything is wrong. But how can I? I know A is going to die." I sigh, looking in the mirror at my pale face. How the colour of my eyes sticks out like blood on snow. Kara puts a hand on my shoulder sympathetically. I give her a small smile, forcing myself to leave the room. As I approach the kitchen I hear voices laughing inside followed by Elsie's gentle voice.

"I know, but im the only one around who will put up with all your weird quirks and bad dress sense-unless you want to get with Coby." As I near the door I hear L reply with a chuckle- but I don't pay much attention to what he says. I push the door and walk into the kitchen with a sneer-anything to scare the almighty L. Elsie watches me closely for a second before averting her eyes after realising she is staring. L greets me coldly.

"Hello Beyond." I lift my hand briefly waving with a sinister smirk still fixed on my face. I can tell my presence unnerves him. I catch a glimpse of Elsie's lifespan, fighting the urge to drop my jaw in surprise. Instead I just stare, unable to stoop myself until I hear l again.

"What are you staring at her for?" He sounds defensive. On the inside I am fighting to control my feelings. My sadness as I realise that the girl I saved in the streets, the one I've had feelings for ever since, is going to die within the next few months-though her numbers are flickering. Changing from months, to weeks, to months again. Which is why im staring. But that's not how I answer L's question.

"No reason L, you wouldn't believe me if I told you." I laugh, forcedly. I can't seem like I care. I quickly grab some jam from the fridge and stroll out of the room, eager to get away from them. As soon as im out of their sight and earshot I let my face fall, still processing what I've seen.

Later on I walk outside alongside most of the orphanage to sit in the sunlight. I sit alone with a miserable expression on my face and my eyes fixed on one person. A, who is walking by the tree line, dragging his feet and staring at the ground. I zone out to the point that it takes a moment to realise that Elsie has come and sat beside me.

"Hey B, what's up?" She asks casually. I smile at her sadly.

"You really wouldn't believe me. There's no point in saying anything." I mumble.

"Try me." She surprises me by asking again. I can't understand why she even cares, but I decide im too tired to refuse anymore. Who cares if she doesn't believe me?

"Ok then Elsie. You see him over there? That's A. He's my only friend and he..." I suddenly choke on tears I didn't realise I was holding in. Elsie urges me on, and I tell her everything. About my eyes, and about A's lifespan. I don't mean to. But it all tumbles over my tongue like a river, and I can't stop. Im surprised yet again when I finish speaking and Elsie responds calmly with:

"I believe you…So why were you staring at me earlier?" I again smile at her sadly.

"I don't think I can tell you that."

We watch A until he bumps into Matt and walks back inside with him, then Coby and L come along and Elsie leaves, whispering in my ear.

"We can try to help A. Ok?" With a reassuring smile.

 **A**

I slouch on the floor of my room with Matt sitting opposite me. His eyes lowered to the floor, like he knows what's coming. We both do. But I don't want to do this to him. I have to. I can't live like this anymore.

"Matt..." I start, hearing the quivering in my voice. Matt doesn't look up at me or respond at all besides blinking slowly. I breathe in slowly, thinking over my words, but Matt beats me to it. His voice somewhat sour.

"I already know what you're going to say. You're going to say goodbye then make some excuse to try and make yourself feel better about leaving me. Don't waste your breath." He looks at me with glossy green eyes narrowed angrily. I try not to let the despair show on my face, but it's difficult.

"No Matt. That's not what I wanted to say." Matt looks at me confused, crossing his arms expectantly. I fight back the urge to cry.

"Matt…there's something I haven't told anyone, but I feel that you need to know…before…" I gulp, struggling to get the words out.

"What is it?" Matt asks urgently clutching my arm. I smile at him through my tears.

"The truth is…I have a blood clot in my brain…And it's inoperable." Matt widens his eyes and shakes his head slowly.

"I don't understand…What does that mean?" he starts to cry. I know he knows what it means. But he wants to believe he's heard wrong. I wrap my arms around him, holding him close to me as I answer him anyway.

"Im dying Matt. And there's nothing that can stop it at this point. Only death." We both sit there, holding each other tightly while Matt sobs quietly.

"No…No…"

I try not to cry. But I can't.

"Im so sorry Matt. I need you to know I love you ok?" Matt nods.

"I… Love you too Alejandro..." He cries quietly as I cradle him gently for the first time in a long time. I loathe myself in that moment. Knowing that whatever happens, Matt will be left without me. With only bad memories. He was far too young to remember when out parents were alive. And that was really the last time I was a good brother. No, I think. In the long run, he'll be better off without me dragging him down too. Same goes for everyone else I know.

After Matt leaves, I fix my plan in place. Soon, it will all be over…

 **1 days later- L**

Elsie's frantic as she tells Coby and I what B told her. Of course, we exchange confused and skeptical glances. But she persistently insists that she believes him.

"Come on Elsie, you don't actually believe that Birthday can see when people are gonna cop it. You must be as mad as he is." Coby laughs. I elbow him in the ribs.

"Coby?"

"Yeah L?"

"Shut the fuck up for a second."

I rub my temple as Coby pretends to zip his lips, watching the rest of the conversation skeptically.

"Okay Elsie. If it makes you feel better, we will go with this idea that Beyond can in fact see the lifespans of people. As unlikely as it is, I don't believe B would have a reason to lie about this. Besides, I don't think he's so fucked up that he would lie about his friend dying." Yeah but he is messed up enough to convince a bunch of teenagers to murder me, but of course, he doesn't know that im aware of that. I frown and look to the ground.

"If there's any chance that A could die in the next few days I want to be aware of it first-hand." I start to stack some sugar cubes on my desk as I think. Coby breaks his silence.

"But why? You told us that the kid's dying anyway. He could just die from the brain thingy." He frowns, hanging upside down off the bed but falling and hitting his head. I roll my eyes at him.

"You can be insensitive sometimes Coby. My point is that we can't wave off the possibility that B will murder A to make us believe his story. Or he will attempt suicide, in which case, I would ideally stop him. Ok?" I sigh, facing Coby who's rubbing his head with a grimace and nodding. (Though under his breath I hear him mumble something along the lines of "Im probably gonna have brain damage now…") Elsie sits on the edge of the desk with her legs crossed, scolding Coby for being immature. But I let my mind drift away to the memory of years ago, when I first spoke to A. He helped me when I couldn't stand on my own. He dealt with my wounds and comforted me when no one else saw me as anything but a target. I feel my chest clench in sudden fear. If what Elsie has said holds any truth, I have to try and stop it.

"Elsie, when did B say A is due to die?" I interrupt her dispute with Coby, but she doesn't seem to mind.

"Tomorrow, but he can't know a specific time."

I nod slowly. Suddenly getting a bad feeling about the situation that I can't shake off. Little do I know what the next day brings, and how it changes everything…

 **A**

I tie the rope into a noose, like many times before. But this time, the rope won't break. This time the door is locked, there are no security cameras, and everyone else is on the other side of the house. I throw the rope over the beam in the center of the room with a face running with tears. Not for my life, but knowing what will be left for those left behind. Matt, and B. My brothers. But I refuse to die slowly in a hospital. I shake as I pull up the chair.

 **B**

I realise A's absence. And everything moves in slow motion. How could I have been so stupid to allow him to go on his own? But it's a huge house. Im far from where he is. Everything feels slower as I start running. Putting one foot in front of the other takes 100 times longer than it should, when in reality I nearly knock down a group of children standing in the way. As I run, people join me. Elsie, L and Coby all run with me. So Elsie told them. Maybe they can help. We run as fast as we can through crowded hallways. Panic rising in my chest.

 **A**

I draw blood with a razor on any patch of clear skin I can find on my legs, arms, torso, focusing on cutting the wrists deep. I cry out in pain as blood gushes over my arms and hands. But it will end this faster. I stand on the chair with shaking legs, feeling faint from blood loss. I slip my head into the noose, and as I hear rapid footsteps coming a few hallways away I sob out loud.

"Im so sorry Matt…B... Goodbye." I close my eyes, and kick the chair away.

 **B**

We reach the door but its bolted shut. I hammer my fists against it shouting hysterically.

"A! You idiot! Unlock the door!" But when no one answers I panic further. Coby hastily pick locks the door, swinging it open and nearly choking. I burst into the room hoping to find A with a gun or something that can be knocked away. But upon entering the room, my eyes widen in horror and I drop to my knees screaming so much it feels like my lungs have been pierced. One by one, Elsie, L and Coby are in the room with me, staring in shock at the sight.

There's a pool of blood on the floor traceable to the body swinging slightly from a noose in the middle of the room. I see his numbers are completely gone but I can't make sense of it.

"Someone help me get him down! He's not dead! He can't be!" I cry in despair standing by the body and trying to break the rope to no avail. L comes over and pulls a knife from his pocket, sawing until the rope snaps, and A falls to the floor in a heap. I scramble forward, pulling the circlet of rope over A's head, choking on air and tears.

"No…Come back…Come back…You can't leave me yet..." I murmur, cradling my lifeless friend, his blood smearing all over me. But I hardly even notice. I cling to the warmth he still holds. I try to focus on his familiar woodsy smell still present, though masked by the iron smell of blood. And I focus intently on trying to bring his name into view about his head. But there's nothing. No breath, no heartbeat, no meaning to my life.

I feel a hand on my shoulder followed by L's soft, mellow voice trying to bring me out of my state.

"Im sorry B. We were too late…he's gone…" His voice hitches, as if he's holding back a trembling sob. I look into his eyes and shake my head slowly. Returning my eyes to my friend and shaking my head. I ignore everything going on around me. Any words said don't matter. Breathing doesn't matter. I failed to save him after years of trying. After years of being saved by him. Keeping him sane.

"It's all my fault. I should have stopped him! What kind of a friend am i?" I bury my face into A's shirt, sobbing more than I ever have in my life. Then I feel gentle hands pulling me towards there owner. Elsie wraps her arms around me, and I go weak in her arms. I slump against her, crying with my body shaking with each sob.

"It's not your fault B…He was really miserable. There was nothing that you could have done for him." She soothes gently. I look up at her with a devastated face.

"Elsie. The other day when I said I can't tell you why I was staring…you're going to die soon! Your lifespan said a minimum of three weeks." Elsie's face holds shock and she looks down to A's body. But she doesn't say anything. Instead, she holds me tighter until Watari comes to take me away from the body. But it takes him, Roger and a paramedic to prise me away from A. I shake as they lead me away. I am the one left to tell Matt, who doesn't say a word. He doesn't cry. He looks vacant, with wide eyes and mouth slightly open. He looks shell-shocked. He slumps on the floor and stares off into a corner with a singer tear rolling down his cheek and quivering lips. I have to tear my eyes away to stop myself from breaking down again. I save it for when im alone in my room, crying myself to sleep every night with the lingering thought that this is my fault.

"I practically tied the noose myself Kara." I sulk into my cushion. Kara sits beside me trying to understand my muffled words.

"How B? It wasn't your fault." She replies.

"How wasn't it? I basically told him to kill himself. Remember? And I shouldn't have left him alone. Im a fucking monster." I cry with no hope of feeling better. Kara can't respond because she knows im right. So I try to occupy my mind with other things. But it all leads back to A. Eventually I learn that the only way to conquer this is to down sleeping pills. So I have dreamless nights. Empty days. And in the back of my mind I can see the insanity that lead me to kill my father start to crawl back to consciousness.

 **Alejandro Jeevas**

The bright light starts to swarm my sight until the room im in falls away. The pain subsides and disappears from my wounds. When I open my eyes im met by a space coated completely in white. I find myself sitting upright. I rub my eyes in confusion.

"Where am I?..." My voice comes out clear, confusing me more. If I survived the attempt, my voice would be hoarse from the rope. Which can only mean…That im dead? I jump as I hear a familiar voice behind me. I whip around to see whose speaking.

"Alejandro? Is that you?" A woman's voice calls out. I trace the voice to a tall, slender woman with shining blue eyes and red hair. She's dressed in a white, knee length dress. Beside her stands a man of equal height with striking green eyes and brown hair. A tear runs down my face and my eyes widen in surprise as I stare at the people I haven't seen for many years.

"Mum! Dad!" I exclaim, running towards them. They smile widely and clasp me in their arms.

"We've missed you son.." My father weeps, holding me tightly. I smile genuinely for the first time in years.

"I missed you too…" I sob into his shoulder.

"Hello A."

I hear another voice behind me that I recognise. My parents smile and release me. I turn around to see who the voice belongs to, and I smile when I see.

"It's good to see you again." They smile, hugging me around the waist. I chuckle and stroke their head.

"It's good to see you again too."

So me, my mother and father, and the other familiar face wonder off together into the bright light. Vanishing from the empty space forever…

 **B**

Soon enough comes the day of A's funeral. But I hardly have enough energy to breathe, let alone stand over a grave while some idiot gives a speech that means nothing to A or me. It's pointless. He's dead, he can't hear it.

I get dressed into a suit. But I have never worn a suit in my life. Well, apart from my father's funeral that I attended because Watari made me. I stare at my odd appearance in the long mirror. I look even stranger without my scruffy clothes that I usually wear. I stare at the dark bruising under my eyes from my sleepless nights. I realise my uncanny resemblance to L but I shake it off as unimportant. Everything is unimportant. A's gone.

I make my way downstairs and travel alone with Watari to the funeral venue, not willing to spend time around everyone else. But Watari understands.

I stay silent throughout the whole ceremony until I give a eulogy id learnt by heart. But standing by the mahogany coffin I stare at the white roses and a photo of A as a young child, piled on the top of the coffin. I feel empty. The words I recite are distant, pointless. But I do it for A anyway. When I sit back down I pull my knees to my chest and sit in silence until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look to see Near looking at my sympathetically.

"Are you ok?" He asks shyly. Instead of being irritable I just nod.

"Im fine kid. Thanks." I go through the rest of the ceremony and the burial in silence. Waiting until everyone else has left to approach the grave. Inscribed on it reads

Alejandro Jeevas-Beloved brother and Friend. I kneel by the headstone, tracing my fingers tentatively over the "A" in his name, which is in beautiful old English text. I cry for the first time since the funeral started, curling into a ball beside the headstone.

After 10 minutes, Elsie, followed of course by l and Coby, comes along and leads me kindly back to the cars. As soon as we get back to Wammy's I retreat to my room and hold my knees to my chest tightly. So much so that my arms ache. I glance at a draw where I know the gun I took from A is still kept, fully loaded with bullets. Id be lying if I said that I hadn't considered following A. It would be so easy to stick the gun between my lips and paint the wall behind me with blood and brains. But I know that wouldn't do much good. As I sit there in silence, I hear that voice in my head again.

 _ **Remember how you killed your father? How you told A to kill himself? What about how you convinced Randy and his friends to try and kill L. And your sister. You do horrible things B. You killed A. Do you want to know why?**_

"No! Leave me alone. You're not real, you're not real!" I cry fearfully.

 _ **No B. Im not. But the insanity is. I know your darkest thoughts. Now that A is gone, there's nothing to stop you. It's fun to kill, B. you know it.**_

The sinister voice is reduced to a whisper.

 _ **Let's do it again B.**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Matt**

Miheal tries desperately to comfort me, despite the fact I've told him im fine. Besides, I know it's difficult for him, given his personality being so boisterous, to be serious or sympathetic. But he really is trying. And I can't be annoyed at him for it.

At first I was distraught. I couldn't eat, or sleep. Every thought was filled of A. I strained to try and remember a time when A was alright. But all I can see is his body under a white sheet. His hand hanging off the stretcher as Miheal holds me back. I try to stop them from taking him, but they only look at me sympathetically, and walk away.

Now though, the pain is starting to fade. I realise that in the end, it was always going to come to this. And A didn't want me to feel this way. So no way would I insult his wishes by grieving for a life that had really been absent for years. So now, as I sit side by side with Miheal, my mind is clear.

We play some two player fighting game. Which of course I beat him at every time. After his fifth defeat, he throws the controller in frustration.

"You've been playing since you first worked out you had hands! You're advantaged!" He yells, irritated. I laugh at him as he finishes his outburst.

"It's just a game Mells. Maybe we should take a break." I suggest, smiling.

Miheal shakes his head dramatically.

"Not a chance. We're playing until I beat you!" I grin and roll my eyes, muttering to myself: "We're gonna be here for some time."

I was right. After hours of playing, and me eventually letting Miheal win, we switch off the console and go to our rooms to study for the oncoming test. On my way to my room, I come across B standing by a window talking to Kara quietly. The moonlight reflects off his raven hair, glinting from his eyes and giving off a distinctively sinister aura. He turns slightly when he hears me, staring at me tiredly for a second, before returning his gaze to the window. As I walk on past wordlessly, I feel a hand grasp my wrist gently. I turn back, meeting B's eyes, which have softened considerably in the last few seconds.

"How are you Matt? I haven't spoken to you since…You know..." He stutters awkwardly. I smile sadly.

"Apparently better than you. You look exhausted." I chuckle lightly. B's mouth curves up in a slight, weary smile. He releases my wrist. And leans against the wall.

"Yeah, I suppose so…I dunno, I think the eyeliner look suits me. What do you think?" He jokes. I smile weakly. Noticing that he does indeed have bags to rival L's under his eyes.

"I should probably try to sleep anyway. So should you Matt, you have a test soon right?" I nod gently. He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He ruffles my hair as he walks past. "Night Matt." He yawns, pulling the hood of his jacket up over his head and stalking down the hallway with his hands in his pockets. As he disappears around the corner I swear I can hear him laughing manically under his breath. This is confirmed when Kara turns around and looks at me sadly, shaking her head and mouthing: "He's lost it." Before she too, disappears, leaving me standing there dumbly trying to figure out what just happened.

Watari starts to notice B's strange behaviour about two weeks after me. More precisely, he notices that B starts showing signs previously found in A. Staring off into space for long periods of time, sudden laughter, absent from meals more and more often. But perhaps the most noticeable are the injuries that unlike A, he doesn't bother hiding. New stitches on his wrists, hands and arms are visible every time he leaves his room. But the preciseness of them, and the fact they've been stitched shows that he's clearly not attempting suicide. The only other reason is because he enjoys it. Many kids bore witness to a confrontation between Watari and B, in which Watari had planned to question B, and searched his room. Removing dozens of knives, razors and pins, only for B to stand in front of the old man, smile, and bite down so hard on his hand that it too, needed stitches.

It becomes clear very quickly that B has been so badly affected by Alejandro's suicide, that it's made him crazy. But Watari refuses to send him away, confident he will recover and be fine.

Many councillor's later, the frightening behaviour calms down, and B is allowed to go back to his normal living conditions. However, he won't talk to anyone but Kara, whom no one else can see, so everyone else still thinks he's crazy.

I stand in A's room, looking around at the space that was occupied by my brother. How much sorrow do these walls hold? Nothing in the room has been changed, except of course the blood in the carpet and the noose are gone. The rest is exactly how it was. I walk over to A's bedside table, where a photo of our parents and us sits. In the photo, A stands in front of father, very young, smiling widely. My mother holds me, a new-born baby wrapped in a blue blanket. Standing beside A is B. There arms over each other's shoulders. I frown, turning away from the picture. Why do I keep coming in here? It only stirs up bad memories. Let it go matt. I think to myself harshly, turning away and walking out into the hallway. Shuffling through the halls I find Near sitting in a corner somewhat limply. His shoulders shake slightly. He's cupping his hands over his face, his head hanging slightly. As I move closer, I see a drop of blood fall from his hand onto his white, oversized shirt. Alarmed, I run over to him and crouch beside him.

"What happened Near? Was it B?" I ask worriedly. I sigh with relief when he shakes his head.

"No, it was Mello…" He chokes, his voice muffled by his hands.

"Which Mello?"

"Mello, not Miheal…Not this time..." he mutters. I gather at this point that it's a nosebleed. So without further questions for now, I get him tissues to stop the blood pouring into his hands.

"Thanks…" he mumbles gratefully, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"So what happened?" I ask, when the worst of the bleed is over. The two of us walk to the bathroom. He replies as he splashes water on his face, rinsing away pinkish trails of blood.

"He took over. He was irritated that I held him back for so long, so he slammed my head into the wall…over, and over…" He stops and flinches, bringing a hand to his forehead.

"Ugh… My head hurts so bad..." he groans. He turns to me and smiles, shaking his head lightly. His dove white hair falls and plasters to his wet cheeks.

"Oh well. I've had worse. Matt? Are you okay?" I hadn't realised I was staring. I snap my eyes away.

"Im fine, just zoned out a bit." I answer. Near smiles and nods, walking out of the bathroom a lot cheerier than when he walked in.

This kid recovers quickly. I think to myself as I follow him. We walk together until Near spots Coby, thanks me for the help, and run off to talk to him. My eyes trail after him, lingering against my will until Miheal charges towards me boisterously knocking me over and laughing. For years to come I wouldn't understand the feelings that made me do that. At that moment, I didn't know just how meaningful my lingering eyes really were.

 **Kara**

I look down at the boy wearily. As much as I care for him, it's safe to say A's death wound a screw loose in his head. Or many screws. I watch him now as he lies on his back on the floor. We're in the kitchen, so anxiety floods me that anyone could be listening to B's ramblings right now. I check around the doorways as he continues to mumble.

"Right here. Hehe…Here Kara…" He laughs. I flick my eyes to him cautiously daring to ask what he means.

"What are you rambling about now?" I manage to keep my deadpan and sound disinterested, for showing any sign that he's bothering me would probably make him worse.

"Ha-ha!" He flips over so he's practically hugging the floor. "A body Kara! With a heart beating fleetingly, the life draining away! Right here..." he lowers his voice, chuckling eerily. I roll my eyes.

"There will be a body there in a minute if you don't knock it off Beyond." He props himself up on his elbows, tilting his head and pouting at me.

"Aww Kara. That's mean! Threatening little old me like that." He tries to hold back his smile, failing miserably. He pushes himself up further so he's sitting cross-legged. He laughs again.

"Oh well! I don't really care! Kill me if you want." Standing up, he goes to leave the room, stopping when he passes a window. I watch his eyes flicker over Elsie, walking hand in hand with L with her other arm slung over Coby's shoulder. She laughs brightly. For a second, I think I see a bit of the old B come back in the form of a sad expression, but as soon as I see it, it's gone. He leaves the room without another word. I however, don't follow him. A cold chill washes over me as I get a bad feeling. A kind of foreboding. Glancing once more at the doorway B left through, I go in the opposite direction, through a wall. I glide over the heads of dozens of children until I find the ones im looking for. Matt and Miheal are sitting beneath a tree to get shelter from the sun. Matt plays on his Psp as always whilst Miheal appears to be studying from a science book. I know then what the bad feeling that compelled me to find them was about. It seems B's ramblings weren't as empty as I thought…

 **B**

Time doesn't seem to exist in the weeks following A's death. Many things I do, I can't remember. But I've been told they're pretty bad. By Watari mostly. I am half aware that my mind isn't just mine anymore. I failed. I let BB take over.

Today has been one of my better days, surprisingly. Considering today, I've added twelve stitches to my skin, threatened someone with death, and played dead on my bedroom floor for three hours. Now, my mind is clearer as the drowsiness forces BB to back off a little. I look at my thin reflection in the mirror and smile sadly.

"I look almost as skeletal as you, Kara…" I frown, sitting by my bed and taking my throwing knives that I managed to hide from Watari, and flicking them into the target on the back of my door with pinpoint accuracy. I sigh deeply when each knife has stuck to the door in a vertical line.

With nothing else to do, I crawl into bed and try to sleep. But as usual, that's easier said than done. I face the door at first. My body curls into the fetal position and flinches involuntarily as I hear a loud bang. In this moment I forget that it's just an auditory hallucination, the panic starts to settle in. I feel my breathing speed up, my lips quivering as I see something dark move at the edge of my vision. I turn to see what it is, but there's nothing. Get yourself together idiot. There's nothing there. I force my eyes to close and curse myself. Honestly, I thought that the night terrors would stop as I got older. Apparently not. I think to myself as I start to drift away, a memory seeping to the front of my mind.

Rain poured heavily outside my window. The wind sending horrific howling sounds through the vents of the house. I wake up screaming for my mother. She comes rushing in with a worried face, instantly clasping my small shaking form in her arms.

"It was just a nightmare…It's alright…"She soothes gently. I shake my head profusely.

"No…it's not just a nightmare! It was real! He was dead!" I mumble in a barely audible whisper. She looks at me concerned, also glancing at Kara. She smiles sadly.

"It's okay B. It was just a dream. Try to go to sleep okay? I'll stay with you until you're asleep." I nod weakly, laying back down and looking into my mother's eyes as she smooths my hair and starts to sing to me in her sweet, calming voice. It lulls me into sleep with a small smile on my face as the dread falls away.

I frown into my pillow as I fall asleep, with the weight of my mind pressing harshly on the corners of my consciousness….

The next day I hear furious yelling in the hallway as I stalk around the orphanage absently.

"Damn sheep! You crazy fuck! No one fucking wants you here! Even your brother's had enough of you!" The yell is followed by Matt's strained voice.

"Miheal! Stop please!" That is answered with another voice, deep and menacing.

"You're in for it now you stupid fuck!" I turn the corner in time to see Near clench a fist and jam it into Miheals neck. Blood streams from both boys faces. From nose bleeds to cuts on their eyebrows. Miheal goes to retaliate, but Matt grabs Near from behind first, yanking him away and pinning his arms tightly to his sides. The small redheaded boy uses all his strength to pull the slightly smaller boy away from Miheal, who's knees buckle, landing him on the floor. Near breathes heavily, clenching his fists. Eventually he stops struggling, also collapsing slightly. Matt gently lowers him to the floor, tired from the effort. He looks up at me briefly, before turning to face the small circle of curious children that have now surrounded them. His eyes find a girl with reddish hair and freckles, calling her over.

I hear him mutter to her under his breath.

"Linda, can you go get Elsie please? I'll get Coby." The girl glances at the two boys slumped on the floor and bleeding, before nodding,

"Sure Matt." And running away. Matt goes in the opposite direction. An idea jumps into my head as I turn and walk away from the crowd, just as I hear both Coby and Elsie's concerned voices from where I just walked away from. I voice my thoughts out loud to Kara.

"Say Kara, if either of those kids were killed, it would be pretty easy to frame the other…" I laugh at her concerned expression, stalking away to my room.


	15. Chapter 15

**Matt**

I weave between the towers of junk leering above me. Broken mattresses, beds, discarded toys and other things not distinguishable in the dark. I pull someone by the wrist behind me as I scream something over and over, following the dark streaked trail on the cold concrete. Upon turning a corner, the thick smell of blood reaches me. My companion breathes shallowly in surprise; I drop to the ground screaming, cradling something that's breathing unevenly. Other people arrive. The figure in my arms smiles, and goes still.

"Matt? Matt! Wake up!" My hands are clammy and my hair is stuck to my forehead as someone shaking me gently jerks me awake, still screaming. Two hands are placed either side of my head, encouraging me to look straight forward. Miheal smiles brightly when I look into his eyes, becoming focused again.

"Yay! Back on Earth are we?" he doesn't release his hold on me, but eases up slightly, brushing hair out of my face. Like B did. Like A. My breathing is ragged, weak and forced. Miheal notices.

"Okay then bro, deep breath in;" I follow his instructions as calmly as I can. "Annnd deep breath out. You okay now mate?" Miheal's wide azure eyes look me over concernedly, but he still smiles. I return the gesture and nod.

"Im good. It was just a dream. It felt so real though…." I trail off. Miheal rolls his eyes.

"Was it that same one again?" I nod lightly. He chuckles and ruffles my hair roughly.

"Im alive Matt. Im fine, See? Dead people can't do this." He laughs, proceeding to flick my forehead. I try to feel reassured, but I can't shake the feeling that it was more than a dream. Of course I can't tell Miheal this, but Kara has been acting strange around him recently, staring at him, arguing with B, and giving me sad looks when she thinks I can't see. And Kara knows when people are going to die. I turn my head away from Miheal and smirk. Im being stupid. Of course he won't die. He can't. I shoved Miheal off the bed, and laughed, until he grabbed my ankle and pulled me off after him. We wrestle on the floor, both laughing. Ironic that violence makes me feel better. Miheal is considerably stronger than me, and is a cheat. He straddles my stomach, pinning my arms under his feet, and smirks.

"What you gonna do now mate? You're stuck now! Ha-ha!" He grins. I give him a lopsided grin back. Looking behind him I calmly raise my head.

"Oh look! Chocolate!" I exclaim. Miheal turns around suddenly giving me the perfect opportunity. I knock him off and grab him in a headlock.

"That's cheating matt!" he grouches indignantly. I only laugh.

"That's your opinion. Really mate, you'd be easy to kill. You're so easily distracted. Watch it, or my dream might become real." I can almost feel his eye roll.

"Yeah yeah idiot. Let go or I swear on your video games, I'll rip out your spine and bash you across the jaw with it." He whispers with mock anger. Miheal's threats aren't to be ignored. I release my grip and stand back up, dragging myself back onto my bed again.

"Why were you in here anyway? Did my screaming wake you again?" I ask suddenly. Miheal nods.

"Dude, you probably woke half the orphanage." He laughs. "Either way, I can't get back to sleep now. Fancy a gaming marathon?" He smiles knowingly. I shrug, sneering at him.

"Sure, just don't break the controller this time." I chuckle under my breath as we make our way to the living room.

By mid-afternoon the next day, we're both exhausted, so Miheal doesn't bother going for Near's throat this time when he stumbles into the living room, looking as worn out as us. He freezes a little when he sees Miheal, but reads the situation and decides he will probably survive. He shuffles over and sits on the sofa closest to me with one knee coddled against his chest. I take note of the plaster above his eye and frown discreetly in Miheal's direction. I also notice his tired demeanour.

"Are you alright Near?" I ask with a hint of concern. Miheal seems to notice, glaring at him out of the corner of his eye, with a look that tells he would love to rip off his limbs, before turning away again. Near returns the gesture with a raised eyebrow, and a look that I can read as "Just try it, I dare you." I sigh, watching Near's sluggish movements.

"In truth, I haven't slept well this past week. I've been having nightmares a lot." I furrow my eyebrows.

"You too? What were they about? If you don't mind me asking." I expect him to be apprehensive in sharing. He simply shrugs.

"You were there. You were dragging me by the wrist. It was dark." He looks up to the left, trying to remember the details. I feel my blood start to run cold.

"You were screaming something as we moved between broken beds, mattresses, stuff like that. We were following..." I cut him off quickly, the blood draining from my face.

"We were following a trail of blood." I finish. Near looks at me in shock. Miheals attention focuses in on the conversation, and crawls to my side.

"You two had the same dream? What the hell? That's some creepy voodoo shit right there." He tries to laugh off. Near stares at him, catching Miheals eyes. Surprisingly with a hint of concern he adds:

"You were dead." His voice sounds cold, shaky. Miheal stares at him angrily when my breathing again becomes forced. I feel my chest ache as my lungs seem to stop working. My body start to tremble and I grip my knees tightly until my knuckles turn white. I don't know what's happening, but I start to zone out of my surroundings. Near is quickly kneeling beside me. I hear Miheal's worried voice raised.

"What's happening? Matt! What's wrong with you?" His voice increasingly panicked. I hear Near's smooth voice a moment later, calm, but obviously worried.

"He's having a panic attack. Calm down Miheal, it won't help for you to get worked up to. Now shut up and back off." He replies sternly. I see Miheal grudgingly back off, eyes still fixed on me. Near's kneels in front of me and copies Miheal's actions the previous night. But he takes my hands in his, rubbing gentle circles into my palms as he instructs me to steady my breathing. Eventually I feel my chest stop constricting, and the tremors stop. Near smiles a little, looking into my eyes with his, I notice, beautiful stormy ones.

"There we go..." He coaxes. He doesn't drop my hands, apparently unsure if it worked yet. I nod little to reassure myself im okay now. Near understands.

"Have you had panic attacks before in the past?" he asks tentatively. I shake my head. He hums a little in thought, looking past my shoulder at Miheal before sighing and pulling me to my feet.

"We'd better go to the nurse, just in case. Can you stand?" I don't have time to answer before I stumble a little, tripping into him. He snickers.

"Okay then. Miheal, get his other side."

So the three of us walk off together, me in the middle. Supported by arguably the only two people left that I care about.

 **B**

My body isn't mine anymore. I know that. I've come to except it. But I also know the thoughts I'm having aren't completely mine either. I'm moving in a haze as I see my hands work in the dark to prise open the loose panel by the wall near the front door, stuff a rucksack inside, and close the gap. I smile darkly. Should all go to hell, I have supplies to run away. But at the same time, I don't want to do this. But we made our choice. BB and I will not succeed L. We will surpass him, as the world greatest criminal. I smirk. I never liked the idea of being a detective anyway.

Checking that no one is around, I pull my hood up and stalk back to my room. I stand in the centre of the room, getting the feeling that this will be the last night spent in here. I laugh quietly to myself. The feeling of murder was so wonderful before. It's the only way I can feel alive now. I tell myself as I sit by the window, staring out at the moonlight flooding the trees surrounding the building in a cold, bluish light. Kara won't look at me. She sits on the bed with her back turned. It hurts that she won't talk to me. As odd as it sounds, a god of death is opposed to me killing? That makes no sense. I stay in the same spot all night, until I fade off to black, and the sneering form in the corner of the room fades too, crawling into my mind with a laugh.

What have I always told you B? I am in control. Because of your dark mind, I am very much real. And I am in control. And I will remain that way until the day we die.

 **Miheal Keehl.**

" _Miheal?" My sister chokes weakly as I enter the room with a doctor. She's laying back in the hospital bed without signs of serious injury. The only visible wound is a cut on her head. I run to her and hug her. She clasps me tightly, holding back sobs. I don't understand._

" _What's wrong? Where's mum and dad? " I ask worriedly. Elsie pulls away to look at me. She struggles for words._

" _Mello…They…were killed when the truck hit…" I feel a heavy feeling, similar to a boulder balancing on my shoulders and my stomach. I feel myself sink further into the bed. I hold back tears, desperate not to show weakness._

" _And…Rae?" My little baby sister who I love fiercely. Did she? She can't have…_

 _Elsie's long fair hair falls over her face and she sobs. I can't take it anymore. I clutch to Elsie and release sobs so violent that the world blurs._

" _She died in my arms when I visited her. We're all we have left in the world."_

I pace around wiping tears from my eyes as I recall the memory. Stupid emotions. If only I could cut off from them. If only I had died too. I shake off the thought. Drying my eyes and leaving the room. I wonder around the house, finding it nearly empty. Everyone is outside or in their rooms. I woke up this morning with the feeling something would happen. The eerie silence of the house does nothing to calm me.

I try to turn my thoughts to other things. The first subject that comes to mind is Matt and Near. Near's always been strange, in fact, I've heard he murdered his father at three years old and ended up in an asylum up until Watari and L had him brought here. Matt however, only recently started acting strange.

I furrow my brow as I walk into the kitchen. That dream they had. I hadn't mentioned it at the time, because Matt could've had another panic attack… but I'd had almost exactly the same dream, just from a different perspective. I remember it in more detail than any other dream I've ever had.

It was dark. I could feel a heaviness in my body, barely keeping my eyes open as my own blood ran into them. I heard Matt screaming my name, but I was too weak to reply. He found me, cradling me as Near watched with a shocked expression. Matt's tears mixed with mine on my bloodied cheeks.

What is going on in this damn place? Why did we all have that dream? I sigh, facing a window. As I watch the breeze brushing against the trees outside, a chill goes down my back.

I get the intense feeling that im being watched as I step into the kitchen. I hear a noise behind me, turning my head to find a fowl smelling rag held over my nose and mouth. Im not stupid. This is chloroform. I hold my breath, panicking and trying to fight back. That's when I feel a sharp pain as a knife pierces my flesh, and the chloroform is again held to my nose and mouth until the world slurs, and goes black. The last thing I hear is a voice thick with dark amusement.

"Don't try to scream. I know you want to die. Let me help you. Shhhhh."

 **BB**

I hadn't planned this to be so messy, but years of built up madness and anger seep out all at once. I drag the knife along every inch of his skin as he shudders weakly. He's mutilated. But the stubborn kid isn't dead yet. Though that works in my favour. He hasn't seen my face at least. The initial stab wound wasn't too deep, or he'd have died by now.

He wakes up as I drag the knife along his forehead, trying to scream, but I clamp a bloodied, gloved hand over his face. I smile, laughing quietly. Blood drips down his face violently. I dig my fingers into the head wound, dragging more blood down his face, letting it fall beneath his eyes like beautiful, bloody tears. I can tell now that he won't hold on much longer, I stand pulling the blindfold off him and moving to hide as I hear someone open the door…

 **Kara**

I tried so hard to stop him, but he wouldn't listen to reason. I foolishly believed he wouldn't go along with it. But I had never been more wrong. I watch with horror as B leaves the poor boy, once full of life, twitching on the verge of death. I would cry if I could as Matt cries at his friend's side. If I had a heart it would snap as Elsie Keehl hears Matt's screaming, and comes to see what's happening. I almost crumple to the floor as I see her cradling him, even when I can no longer see his chest moving. I can no longer see his numbers. B leaves undetected in the commotion, but im unable to move. I try to snap out of it.

Im a Shinigami. A God of Death. I shouldn't be affected by this.

I fly through the ceiling, finally gathering my thoughts and following B as Watari runs down to the basement. I watch as B scrubs off the blood and the knife, and disposes of the blindfold and gloves in the fireplace. He doesn't bother cleaning the kitchen as the blood trail has already been discovered. As he walks to his room, he stops at a window, staring at something. I ask him what it is, but he shakes it off, insisting it was nothing. So he goes to his room and locks the door. I watch his face as he sits on the edge of his bed, and I'm surprised when he puts his head in his hands.

"What am I doing? I got too sloppy. They'll find out it's me sooner than we planned. You were supposed to kill him cleanly BB!" He whispers angrily. He supposedly stops to listen to the reply in his head before shaking his head and laying down on his back heavily. This kid really has lost it.

 **Matt**

My mind had struggled to comprehend the blood trail reminiscent of the one in the dream as I dragged Near by the wrist to follow it with a cold chill going over our bodies as we stepped into the basement. The dream happened almost exactly as I remember in reality. Somehow I knew what we were going to find at the end of the trail, but it didn't stop my heart lurching into my stomach when I saw my friends barely breathing body, mutilated almost beyond recognition with all the blood colouring his normally pale skin.

I ran to him, screaming his name and cradling him against me. All the while Near had sat back, eyes wide in shock, with tears prickling at the corners. Soon enough, others arrived to see what the screaming was. Coby and L were in absolute shock, and Elsie broke down. I reluctantly let go of Miheal, and Elsie held him to her, speaking softly. Miheal had said something, smiling before his tiny body stilled. Near caught me as I fell into him. He kept his arms around me, patting my hair down gently whispering soothing words, all the while staring at the body with an almost blank expression. The only sounds that could be heard were the collective crying wails of Elsie and I.

Now, shut away in my room, I stare at the far wall and recall memories that strangely, I was too young to remember. I was a baby.

His arms shook as his mother pressed his baby brother into them and pushed him into the Livingroom. She moved the sofa slightly to reveal a hatch.

"Stay down there until we tell you to come out." The panic in her voice told him now wasn't the time to be stubborn like usual. He realised that someone was in the house now. He could hear his father shouting. He clambered into the hatch, closing it fully until he heard his mother push the sofa back over it and run out of the room. He pushed it open slightly so all he could see was the room at ankle height. The sofa would stop anyone realising it was there.

Soon enough the door of the room was pushed open again. His mother, father and five men walked in. His parents were pushed to their knees. Alejandro recoiled in horror, closing the hatch as he heard a deep voice, and two gunshots. He heard the voice yell:

"Where are the kids? They have two of 'em. We were told to wipe out the whole family." Alejandro had been so focused on what was going on that he didn't realise that Matt had been woken up by the gunshot. A realised just in time to cover the child's mouth and rock him gently to stop him crying, despite his own terrified sobs.

They were hidden there for two hours whilst the hitmen turned the whole house over. Then A heard the door open again, and five gunshots sounded. The two boys both cried that time, paralysed in fear. The sofa was pushed aside again, and the hatch was lifted. Alejandro expected to be killed right then, but instead, he was met by a kind looking man. He was fairly old, dressed in a suit. He was wearing a gun in a holster. A knew this man. He was a friend of their parents.

"Mr Watari?" A stuttered. Watari smiled sadly.

Another memory.

A's death. The body under a crisp white sheet, stained slightly with blood. My last family gone.

First my parents, then my brother. And now Miheal.

I hear a gentle knock on the door and acknowledge it with a quiet: "Come in." Elsie pushes open the door, closing it behind her carefully. My expression softens when I see hers. Her eyes glisten with the remnants of tears in them. Her cheeks are flushed red and she's biting her lip. Nevertheless, she smiles carefully.

"Hi Matt." Her voice sounds slightly hoarse, I notice. "The police are talking to everyone downstairs, but L threatened to dropkick them if they tried to harass you yet." She smiles a little. I do my best to return the gesture. She walks further into the room and sits beside me by the window.

"Tell him I said thank you." I answer her the best I can, my voice still shaking. She nods.

"I will. So, Matt…I just wanted to give you this, the police found it in Miheal's room." She hands me a folded piece of paper. I look at her confused. She nods at it.

"It's up to you whether you think you can deal with it yet. It's a letter Miheal wrote for you. From the sounds of it, he knew something might happen and wrote these for the people he cared about. There was one for L, Coby and I and one for you…" She paused, wrapping her arms around me when she saw the tears in my eyes.

"He saw you as a brother Matt. He really loved you. I just think you should know that his life was significantly improved when he met you. He told me himself." She starts to cry quietly. I join her.

"He was the only family I had left…" I trail off. I feel Elsie shake her head.

"No Matt. He was my brother, and you were his. You're my family too. And L and Coby feel the same. Besides," She pulls away. "read the note. Miheal made a good point about this topic that you might be interested in."

Later that night I finally gather the courage to flip open the letter.

 _Matt,_

 _A few years ago my parents died in a car crash. That I've already told you before. What I never told you is that my baby sister Rae also died a few hours after._

 _For years I felt so alone. I couldn't make friends; I was stuck in a foster home filled with older kids who were favoured. I was pretty much isolated from everyone. Although I seemed excitable when we met, I was actually just happy to not be shut away alone in a dark room anymore. I felt empty until I met you._

 _You made me happy again. You will always be my brother Matt._

 _If you're reading this, it's because my bad feeling had a meaning behind it, and I'm dead._

 _First of all- shit._

 _Second of all- fuck!_

 _And thirdly- Don't believe for one second that you're alone now. Elsie and L will look after you. Not to mention Watari._

 _Never tell him this, but I don't actually hate Near. He is an annoying, probably psychotic freak, but he's intelligent as fuck, and fiercely protective of you. You might notice if you get your head out of video games. I feel comforted that he will take care of you now that I can't._

 _I'm pretty certain he loves you._

 _Maybe I'll see you again one-day brother, and when I do, I'm gonna wrestle you till you convulse on the floor with your spine binding your hands together. Be very afraid._

 _See ya later Matty!_

 _P.S- If there's no chocolate I'm going to be pissed._

I smile. Tear's streaming onto the page as I laugh and shake my head, looking at the ceiling.

 **Yeah brother. See you later.**

 **Kara**

I hover listening to the conversation between Coby and L. I frown sadly as Coby flips out.

"Now my brother hates me!" Coby scoffs, hitting his head on a wall. L shakes his head sympathetically.

"You did accuse him of murder, that's gets to people, trust me, I know."

It's true. Moments ago, Near had been in here and Coby had accused him of Miheal's murder. Much to Nears despair, and Elsie had carried him out of the room crying. Coby shakes his head guiltily.

"He killed our father with no emotion. Even if he deserved it, I can't help but think he could do this." L smirks coldly.

"I know, but I think we should speak to B. Whoever killed Mello was sloppy enough to leave evidence, and I have a pretty good case to argue out with him."

They both stand and leave the room.

That's when I panic, flying to find B before they do.

 **B**

They know. I know they do. If that dream had any truth, they'll be here soon. I tuck something under my shirt as I hear someone knocking on the door. I hurriedly wipe at my face. I had been crying, purely out of terror. Kara told me what she overheard, giving me a few minutes to think about my next move. I clear my head as the door opens, and I turn to face Coby and L.

I manage to remain relatively calm as they walk me through the halls with Coby gripping my shirt collar. Images flash through my mind.

"Beyond are you alright?" A white haired boy asks me with a kind, concerned expression on his face. Along with a deep bruise under his right eye. I know now that he was abused.

"Ok…if you're sure you're not dying or something!" He reply's light-heartedly when he catches me staring, his hands shaking slightly as he walks away.

His body dead with me standing over him sneering. L's pained wails.

"I'll kill you B!"

I snap out of the thoughts, composing myself as we come to a door and L pushes it open. Kara hovers close to me the whole time.

Elsie and Near sit on the floor surrounded by puzzle pieces. I shift uncomfortably under the stare of the sister of my victim, the girl I saved. The girl I've betrayed.

"We thought you'd want to hear this." L explained briefly to the other two. I see Near grab Elsie's arm in fear of me. Elsie holds him close and nods in response to what L said. Coby blocks the door.

"You killed Miheal Keehl. Am I right?" L asks in a monotone, staring straight into my eyes. Cold steel meeting glowering embers.

"What are you talking about L? what evidence do you have of that?" I respond with a sneer asserting mock confidence. If I didn't have BB, I wouldn't be able to do it. L shrugs, walking over to an armchair. Everyone's eyes follow him.

L starts to list off evidence, points, all of which are true. This makes both Kara and I uneasy. I was way to sloppy, and people aren't exaggerating when they say L's the world's greatest detective.

He makes the point that killing Miheal would narrow the competition for his successor but as Matt was my best friends brother, and was accompanied by Near, I couldn't kill them when they found Miheal. He also points out that I couldn't have done that because I knew Mello would emerge from Near and attack.

L takes a breath, placing a thumb to his mouth.

"I have deduced that you walked into the kitchen and attacked him there, using chloroform to knock him out. When that didn't work first time you stabbed him. I know this because the initial wound wasn't deep enough to kill quickly, It was too sloppy to be planned. You failed to realise the blood on the floor when you dragged him to the basement to hide the body, perhaps doing that instead of carrying him to try and make him suffer, or to minimise the blood on you. You started slicing up the body but you heard Matt and Near and hid behind something before escaping. You washed off the blood from you in the bathroom but left blood on the sink. We DNA tested it and found it was Miheal's. You do not have an alibi, but you do have motives for killing, and your insane. However Near and Matt were in the library studying at the time we believe Miheal was in the basement, and we have evidence of this on surveillance cameras. So I know Near didn't do this. Besides.." He sighs deeply.

"A knife went missing after you had been in the kitchen the other day, according to a witness, and the knife hasn't been recovered. What do you have to say in your defence, Beyond?"

Everyone faces me. I can feel myself start to unravel, panic flooding me, but BB realises too, stepping into the front of my mind and more or less shoving me out the way.

We laugh.

"I guess you really are as good as people say." We look towards Coby.

 **No! No! BB please NO!**

BB ignores me, cocking my head to the side and laughing again.

"You know Coby; you shouldn't try to block my escape. After all there might be…consequences." I sneer, gesturing to the door with a nod. Coby crosses his arms, angrily staring me down.

"Come off it B, you've just admitted to murder. There's nothing you can do now." I start to feel suddenly irritated. BB makes us take a step forward.

 **NO!**

We look above his head.

 **NO!**

I see his lifespan decreasing, I hear my own deep voice.

"Would you look at that Coby? Your lifespans decreased greatly in the last 5 minutes, but that's to be expected."

 **BB! Don't**! I practically scream inwardly.

Coby's features fall in confusion.

"What do you mean, my lifespan has decreased?" He asks, with a little panic. I convulse with involuntary laughter. Or rather BB does. Im on the verge of crying.

We move closer to Coby, until he is pressed against the wall behind him, just besides the door. I lean so my lips are close to his ear and still sneering, I whisper.

"I meant this."

NO! I scream. But it's too late. Before I really know what's happening, Im in control again. A knife dripping with warm blood is in my hand. Elsie screams. Near takes a violent intake of breath as he freezes, screaming too. Coby gasps, staring into my eyes.

"Im so sorry!" I whisper in shock. Coby's horrified eyes flicker away from mine as he starts choking, breathing rapidly. I hear L scream Coby's name, running at me and pulling the knife out of my hand, plunging it into my arm furiously. Pain floods me so fast I think I might pass out, but Kara grabs by other arm, pulling me out of the doorway. I hear Coby hit the floor and L cry after me in the same way that's haunted my dreams.

"I'LL KILL YOU B!"

I run as fast as I can, grasping my bleeding arm. The knife has gone almost right through, but in panic I tear it from the flesh, making the bleeding worse. As I run towards the front door, I grab the backpack. A group of children watch in shock, and right at the front is Matt, his eyes narrowed a little, tears streaming down his face. It stops me in my tracks.

"You killed him! YOU KILLED MIHEAL! Didn't you!" I open my mouth to say something, but I hear hurried footsteps coming after me.

All I can manage in response is a pained gasp as I run out of the door and into the heavily wooded area. I can hear footsteps behind me as I slam my feet to the ground finding it difficult to see through my tears. The pain in my arm is enough to slow me down considerably. I stop in a clearing when I trip over. I put my back to a tree when I can't hear the footsteps anymore. Blood pours over my fingers as I fumble in my bag for something. I find what im looking for. I quickly take the black t-shirt and tear it into strips with my good arm and my teeth. Kara helps me bond my wound with the makeshift bandages before mumbling that she was going to see if we'd been followed. I nod weakly, watching her go.

As I stand there, swaying a little, trying to stay awake, I hear something behind me. Before I can turn, a hand is clamped over my mouth along with a voice.

"Don't scream, or we'll both be caught…" The hand is moved away, and I slowly turn to see who it is.

I don't know this man, but I recognise him from the night I killed Mello. I saw him out the window, but I thought it was a hallucination. The man is a little taller than me with fairly prominent muscles and grey hair. His eyes are cold, almost white. Not like L's calculating eyes, Near's stormy ones. Just pure hatred fills them. I step back as far as I can from him, holding the knife with both Coby's and my blood still coating the blade towards him. He acknowledges my shaking hands.

"I wouldn't try it if I were you. I know you're a murderer and all, but you're nothing compared to me. I'd be very careful If I were you." My lip twitches slightly as I try to process what he's said, although the dizziness isn't helping.

"Who are you, and what do you want?" I ask coldly.

He smirks evilly, making even me shiver. This man Is right. He's on a whole other level than me.

"Im Sylas and long story short, im the one who really killed Lawliet's parents. I've come to finish the job. But murderer to murderer I thought I'd help you out. I diverted their attention as you ran. If you leave now they won't find you. Just go over the gate in that direction." He sneers. I shiver again.

"Why would you do that? Why not just let them get me? I don't know you." Sylas smiles darkly.

"Because by letting you go, L's life will be painful and torturous. Never being able to bring his friend and girlfriends killer to justice." He laughs.

"Of course, killing you is another way to make sure he can never do that. I actually like that option better." The man advances, pulling a gun from under his shirt and pointing it at my head. I think quickly, sweeping his legs out from under him, slashing at his thigh with the knife. He crumples to the ground laughing as I start to run away from him. I hear him shout with a laugh:

"I knew you'd do that! Also, if I were you, I'd leave the country as soon as possible!"

At that moment Kara glides up next to me, looking back at the man, pulling himself to his feet and inspecting the shallow cut on his leg.

"Who was that?" she asks, sounding concerned as she observes my limp arm and laboured breaths.

"No one important. Asshole pulled a gun on me though!" I mutter angrily as I do what Sylas had said, climbing the fence with Kara's help. I look back at Wammys house one last time. Where I lost my friend. Where I cared for Matt. Where I lost myself. It would be the last time I saw the place where so many memories, good and bad were. I turn my face away as the police sirens sound in the distance, and collapse unconscious in Kara's arms, who cradles me like a baby, walking further and further away from the place I once called home.


	16. Chapter 16

**B**

"B, L has police scouring the country looking for you. You need get a move on." Kara calls to me. I roll my eyes, pouring antiseptic into my wound with gritted teeth and my eyes clenched tight enough to bring about tears.

I stitch up the wound the best I can while my other hand shakes. When im finished, I pull myself off the ground and follow Kara through the trees with difficulty. It's been two days since we left Wammys, so I probably should have dealt with the wound earlier, but I was unconscious for the first day and hiding from police the other.

We get closer to an isolated store at the side of a road that Kara had told me was there. I get an idea, but I grimace at the prospect. Still, it will be necessary if I want to escape.

"How many people are in there Kara?" I ask, pulling a gun out of my bag…

It's a good thing we're in the middle of nowhere.

Five minutes after I got the idea, the two employees at the shop are dead with gunshots through their heads. I don't feel bad; I don't feel anything but the pain in my arm. As I thought, they'd recognised me from the news- they'd put a story on the news about the two murders at an orphanage, but had kept the name of the orphanage a secret.

When they'd seen me, one had tried to call the police and the other had stupidly tried to disarm me. I killed them in cold blood without a hint of emotion on my face.

I take painkillers, bandages, money and other essentials. But as I go to leave I see the small tv at the counter flicker onto the news.

I see my face appear along with a reporter.

"The search continues for 17-year-old Beyond Birthday, who murdered 8-year-old Miheal Keehl and 18 year old Coby Rivers, in the orphanage where he lived. If you see him, do not approach. He is thought to be mentally insane and has a history of harming others and himself. There were once rumours that he broke into a police station, killing 4 police officers to get to his father, who had previously abused himself and his younger sister, who also died in mysterious circumstances." I turn away from the screen, rolling my eyes, and they land on another isle of the store. I step over the broken body of one of the employees to get there. When I've grabbed everything I need from there, I walk to where there is a small bathroom at the back of the shop, looking at myself quickly in the mirror, wetting my hair in the sink and brushing through it with my fingers so there are no tangles to get in the way. I stare into my red irises in the shiny glass once more.

 **Kara**

I follow close behind the boy. His brown hair is long enough to hang just above his cheeks to the side of his green eyes, but it's still considerably shorter than what it was. B huffs, irritated as he treads down a pavement with his backpack slung over one shoulder. Of course, it's a different backpack than the one he left with in case he was seen with it. He's made sure no one could recognise him, even abandoning his usual black shirt and jeans in favour of a My Chemical Romance band shirt and black jeans. I address his irritation with caution.

"It won't be long now B. You're nearly there." I try to reassure him. He huffs again tiredly. I can't help but grin and roll my eyes at him as we get to the ferry. As we move away from land, he stands by a window, sadly watching England get further and further away with a glint of something in his eyes that I can't quite make out behind the contact lenses. He turns away and curls up on the corner of an L-shaped sofa in a café on board the ferry. His face watches people pass by absently, occasionally twitching. It's probably just hallucinations though. I stare intently at the numbers above his head with a slight frown, checking out of habit. I've been doing it since the day he was born, until he turns and notices me. I snap my head away quickly but see him chuckle under his breath and shake his head out of the corner of my eye.

 **Four Years Later-B**

My feet pound against the pavement furiously and I grin widely. I always enjoy the chase.

My hood is pulled down as low as it can go, a black bandana acts as a mask hooked over my nose and a baseball bat is hanging over my shoulder, the pins stuck at the end acting as a clear threat to the approaching cop.

In hindsight, I probably should have been more careful than to let the witness of that murder live, but hey, we all make mistakes.

Eventually we come to an alley, where I have the upper hand. I smirk, kicking myself off one wall and climbing to a fire escape where I can hide slightly. Anyone with any sense would have called for backup, but this man is stupid. Probably a rookie. I would feel almost bad for the guy if he hadn't tried to shoot me. I wait until the man turns into the alley, looking around dumbly. I laugh uncontrollably at the look on his face. He tries to maintain his composure.

"It you ain't it? The guy that L guy has been looking for." He yells out in his thick American accent, a tremor evident. I laugh again.

"Oh? What makes you so sure?" I reply. I can hear his breathing hitch, making me snicker under my breath.

"Well you're British, insane, you were seen mutilating your victim just like the Keehl kid besides most people don't have glowing red eyes!" He shrieks hysterically. I roll my eyes.

"Can you believe this guy? He hit the nail on the head. I'd love to say you aren't as dumb as I thought. Unfortunately, you are quite dim. You won't make it out of here alive."

He goes to draw his gun, and ends up with a knife stuck in his hand. Before he can scream, I've jumped down from the fire escape and put the bat to his neck, choking him with it from behind until he is too weak to struggle. I put my chin on his shoulder and smile.

"You know, in total, you're number 15." I drop the bat away from his neck, swinging the pins towards the back of his head with a satisfying crunch, splattering blood on the graffiti covered wall.

Four years has dragged by at such a painfully slow pace that at times I wondered if I really was still alive. Obviously I am. I can feel the sharp stings as I drag the corner of a blade over my skin. I can smell the blood on my hands from the dead, even though it's long gone. I can see Kara's disappointed, sad and downright pathetic reactions to anything I do.

Honestly, I think it's a little late to stop now. My plan is in place.

I frown in thought as I drag the man's limp body, and toss it into a nearby furnace. I know this area very well. He's not the only one I've disposed of here. I watch disinterestly as I see the figure of BB standing by, watching me. Only this is different from the other times I've seen him. I suddenly feel weak, and lean against a wall for support. The figure isn't BB. I realise as I look at him more. But he isn't real either. It's me, but a younger version. About 12 possibly. He stares with wide eyes, shaking a little. He looks from the furnace to the blood smeared nails on the bat hanging loosely from one of my hands. A memory of a dream I had years ago flashes to my mind suddenly, causing me to fall the concrete.

 _I look forward with shock. Im standing in an alley with graffiti covered walls, splattered with blood. I watch a man dressed in black with a bandana pulled up over his nose as a blatant attempt to hide his face. But his burning red eyes make it obvious who he is._

 _He sees me watching him as he tosses a broken body into the furnace next to me, and steps back a little, leaning on a wall with a bat hanging from his fingertips. He pulls down his mask weakly, and falls to the floor. He begins to shake a little. I gulp a little._

" _I remember this…" the man mutters, taking to sitting against the wall. He turns to me and smiles sinisterly._

" _Wake up B."_

I step calmly from the alley, pulling the mask back up and weaving between nervous looking people until I get to the small apartment. Obviously it's not mine. I glance at the ceiling, where I know the body of the man who had lived here was slowly decaying. I frown slightly, walking to the bathroom and sitting on the floor with my back against the bath. I stare straight forward, letting my mind wonder. I speak out loud.

"Why am I doing this? What's the point? Beating L isn't so important that I should kill people every other fucking day." I mutter, digging the heels of my hands into my forehead.

I sit there in silence as my mind wonders down the rabbit hole.

I wonder how everyone is doing at the orphanage. Are Matt and Near still close? I hope so. Matt needs him. After all, thanks to me his brother and best friend have been dead for a long time. "I hope Elsie's okay." It was a stray thought, a stupid one.

Let her go B. She loves L. You killed her brother. You murdered the boy she'd came to love as a brother. It's all irrelevant. She's fine. Why wouldn't she be?

I feel my chest tighten as I think of her. Jade eyes twinkling as she smiled from the door of the prison cell. Her voice, smooth, laced with hidden despair that was drowned by her ability to smile. To light up the room with a simple laugh. Cheeks flushed a light pink and her strawberry blonde hair that flicked into little ringlets by her slim waist. An image flashes through my head. Her pained screams as she held her brother's lifeless body. The betrayed look in her beautiful eyes as the knife was torn out of Coby's flesh.

I touch my cheek tentatively, realising there are tears streaming from my eyes. I haven't cried in four years. My hands tremble. My body quivers in sobs as I stand up and lean on the sink, looking into the mirror at my eyes. Blood red. **Evil. Evil. Evil.**

"They were right! They were always right!" I choke, stumbling out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen.

"I never deserved to live! I killed people who did!" I stumble over my words, not thinking clearly.

"I couldn't even protect Alodia. Couldn't save my mother, couldn't save A! I don't want to do this anymore…" I grasped for something on the worktop as I heard Kara come through the front door.

 **Kara**

I had hung back in the alley, staring at the blood splatters, wide eyed, disgusted, but no longer shocked that he's done it. It's happened so many times. I sat in the alley atop a bin, watching B leave and paying no mind that I wasn't following. That was fine by me. I promised his mother id take care of her children. But one's dead, and the other wishes he was by this point. I frown, twirling my black hair around my finger and sighing a little.

I had to take the time to get over my anger at him. There really wasn't any reason to kill these people. And im sure he knows it. Mostly im angry at myself though.

I should have convinced Rebecca out of the eye-deal. I should have protected Beyond and Alodia from their father. I should have done more when It mattered. But it's too late now, B is a monster.

There's really no denying it. _But what makes the situation worse?_

I stand up, walking slowly in the direction of the apartment as I think deeply.

 _What makes it all worse?_

I get to the front door, hearing what sounds like sobbing, clumsy feet, and distraught mumbling. I faze through the door, looking towards the kitchen in alarm and rushing forward as I see B holding a Pistol to the back of his head.

His hand shakes slightly, but I see his finger press down a little on the trigger.

I get to where he is standing, and a piercing BANG rings through the room as he presses the trigger.

 _What makes it worse? What makes it worse is:_

I love him so, so much.


	17. Chapter 17

The gunshot rings through the room with a deafening bang, making me squeeze my eyes shut a little. I open them quickly, regaining my sense and looking down in worry. I sigh a little with relief. B scowls up at me through his tears, laying on his back on the floor with me hovering above him. He turns his head towards the gun still clutched in his hand, and tries to point it back towards him. I grab his wrists harshly tossing the weapon away, and pinning his arms to the floor either side of him, digging my nails into his palms a little.

"Don't even think about it." I snarl at him. His eyes glint dangerously as he tries to twist out of my grip to no avail. He tries to kick me off, so I use my height to my advantage, keeping his hands still and pinning his legs down with my knees in a way that would obviously be painful so he has no choice but to stop thrashing.

"What the hell Kara?! Get off of me!" He yells, desperately looking towards the discarded gun. I shake my head, sighing as he starts thrashing again.

"Let me die Kara! For the sake of everyone who will die otherwise! Let me die!" His voice cracks and tears start prickling at his eyes. I soften my grip a little, shaking my head.

"No B. I promised I would look after you, and I will. Now please, calm down. Ok?"

Maybe he sees the desperation in my eyes, or maybe he's too tired to fight anymore, but I see him start to cry. Like the little boy I once knew. The boy who ran in the woods. The boy who loved his friend. The boy who loved his sister enough to put his life in the line of his father's fire to save her. Not the man I now know as a murderer.

He stops struggling, and I nod slowly removing my knees from his legs and pulling him into a sitting position gently by the wrists. I kneel in front of him, letting go of one wrist, and only loosely holding the other. He looks down at the ground and tries to hold back his sobs. I frown sadly, putting a hand on his cheek gently, and turning his face towards me. He reluctantly looks into my eyes as I shake my head at him.

"No B. Let yourself cry. It's okay..." I coax, running a thumb over his cheek and catching a tear. He starts to sob. I release his hand and stand up, picking up the gun and putting it back in its draw, after removing all the bullets. I then go back to where B is sitting, taking his hand in mine gently and pulling him to his feet.

I lead him to the living room where he sits with his knees tucked up against his chest in silence for a long time. When he stops crying he lies down on the sofa and sighs.

"Why do you care so much anyway? I mean I know you promised my mother, but I never thought you two were that close. Why would you stick with me after everything I've done?" He glances at me, and I simply smile.

"I have my own reasons."

 **The los Angeles Police-Kara**

The weary detectives search the 3rd crime scene with confusion, finding nothing of any help. Not that they'd expected to of course. After all, this is obviously a skilled serial killer who knows what they are doing. One detective, a young man, studies the strange Wara Ningyo pinned to the walls in one room. There are two. All the police can gather from this is that the killer is using them to count down his victims. Which, much to their worry, means the killer is likely to strike again.

The victim, Backyard Bottomslash, had no connections to the other two victims at all, and all the killings have been locked room murders. Everyone is stressed, tired, and desperate for any sort of lead. Of course, Beyond Birthday has ensured that they will not.

That, I suppose, is the whole reason events play out how they do. For there is nothing I can do or say to stop him. Nevertheless, this is how it was always going to be.

Beyond Birthday.

The plan is only officially in motion the moment I crawl out from under the bed. Back at the scene of the first murder. Dressed in a white shirt, blue jeans and an L like slouch. I resist the urge to laugh at the alarmed look on the face of the woman before me, who had been talking to L on the phone moments before. She'll be worrying about how much I heard. I see her name above her head.

Naomi Misora

"Who are you?" She asks sternly, trying to be intimidating. But it's a laughable attempt.

"Nice to meet you," I reply politely and completely unruffled.

"Please call me Ryuzaki."

 **Some time later…**

Naomi Misora is indeed a worthy helper for L…

She's solved it. With my help of course…

But my plan isn't over yet.

Kara screams at me to stop, but I douse myself in the gasoline anyway. Before she can stop me, I light the match, dropping it at my feet. The pain engulfs me, and I scream in pain as I hear a woman's voice yelling.

"Ryuzaki!"

I hear Kara's panicked voice.

Im dying. Finally I can beat L. By leaving him without a culprit, he can never get justice. I will have surpassed him.

But the pain is so excruciating. I wish it would end.

I cry out in pain. Who cares if I appear weak. No one but Misora and Kara is here to see it. Kara will be okay. She's a god of death.

I think of A as I fall unconscious. His face that I long to see again. I think of Alodia, who I long to hold close.

I think of Elsie, and Matt and Near.

I hope they can all live peacefully with me gone.

 _Please tell me this is the end…_


	18. Chapter 18

"We nearly lost him at the end there."

"Tch… It's not like he doesn't deserve it. He's a monster."

"Shut up. You've been instructed to keep him alive. Now do your job, or I will murder you. What was that? No, I don't care that im supposed to stop murder. You are pushing me over the edge."

Whose is that voice? It's familiar…Am I dead?

" yes Mr…." I don't catch the name, feeling searing pain up the entirety of my body.

I fall back into unconsciousness before anyone notices I was awake.

"It's strange." I think, as I fall under.

"Where do I know that voice?"

Kara

"Beyond?" No response. I try again with a voice strained with sadness.

"Beyond? Please say something." He continues to hang his head limply, leaning against the white wall. You'd think he was dead if it weren't for the slow rise and fall of his chest in pained, shuddering breaths.

His hair hangs limply over his black blindfold, moving ever so slightly from his breaths. He wears a white jacket restraining his arms, blue, loose fitting trousers and a chain secured around his ankle, harshly shackling him to the floor.

At the sound of my voice the third time around, his unhealthily pale lips twitch downwards in a wince as he tries to move his head to rest against the wall. He cries out a little in frustration when he finds he's too weak to even do that. With miserable furrowed eyes and as gently as possible, I hold B's face in my hands and lean his head to rest on the cushioned wall. My eyes rest on his slightly quivering lips. I sit back on my heels and try again.

"B? Can you talk to me?" He stirs a little, forcing words out in a raspy voice.

"It…Hurts…"

 **B**

I don't know where I am. I don't know what the day is. I don't know how long I've been here, or if it's night or day. The blindfold was irritating at first, but I've come to realise that whilst im wearing it, I don't have to see Kara's miserably sympathetic face that I know would just rip my heart from my severely burnt chest. I also don't have to see anyone's numbers anymore. For the first time in my life.

As the time passes by, I just sit still until my body's Stiff-Only moving when the sound of the door opening makes me flinch in shock before im given food, water or medicine which I always try to refuse. I want them to let me die now. But apparently someone has ensured that won't be allowed to happen. I feel a chain around my raw ankle and a padded floor and wall. I know there's a door to the side of me-but apart from that im clueless.

As the days of isolation go on, I start to feel a terrible sadness hanging over me. It feels like when A died. I am empty. I am alone. Im cold and yet still burning all at once. In times like these when I feel so alone, I look inside myself to try and find BB. But as far into my mind I search, I can't find him. I sigh when I realise darkly.

"because he's already here. I am BB. I am what my visions said. I am a murderer."

…

Im zoning out so much that don't realise that the door has opened until I sense someone directly in front of me. I hear Kara breath in harshly, surprised and I furrow my eyebrows slightly.

What's she so surprised about. Who is this?

Gentle hands pull the blindfold off over my head, exposing my eyes to sudden white light for the first time in probably months. I look around the room as my eyes adjust. As I suspected, it's a padded cell. No windows and a camera in the corner of the room. A's observation room at Wammys springs to mind. I follow Kara's eyes to the form kneeling in front of me with the blindfold dropped on the floor beside him. With my eyes still blurry, I first think it's BB. But as my sight focuses on the stormy grey in his eyes instead of the familiar blood red, my eyes widen in shock.

"L?" As soon as I realise, I lower my eyes to the floor in a quick movement, a strange feeling suddenly swelling in my chest. I recognise it as a painful pang of guilt.

I killed his friend. I killed he who he loved like a brother. Then I ran away and tried to surpass him by murdering? How monstrous could I be?

This is it. He'll kill me. He must have kept me alive so that he could kill me himself. I wouldn't blame him. Just do it L. Kill me.

L shocks me yet again when he speaks with such sadness that it takes me back to Wammys again. When he used to cry all the time.

"Does it hurt?" He asks calmly, looking at my exposed, burnt ankles with a slight grimace. Still confused at this point, I try to remain calm.

"Yeah, you could say that. I deserve it anyway. Why do you care?" I reply honestly and bitterly. I stare at him with what I suspect looks like anger. But Im not angry.

L sits beside me calmly, in his usual sitting position that up until recently I mimicked as part of the act. Nothing's changed in 4 years.

"Because I understand everything you've done. I can't condone murder, but I understand." L takes a shaky breath, as if building himself up for something. "And I forgive you."

As if to prove his point, he tucks a lose stand of my hair behind my ear so it doesn't hang in my eyes. Confused, and becoming unexplainably hysterical, start holding back guilty tears.

"But…I killed your friend, my sister, my father and so many others after that…And Miheal..." I pause shakily, feeling L's analysing eyes resting on me.

"I had no reason to kill Miheal. The others, I had motives. But Miheal? I went mad! I just wanted to kill." I contort my face in anger at myself, and slam the back of my head into the wall as I begin to shout.

"How can you just sit there? Im a monster!" I weep hysterically now. L, apparently unfazed, simply shrugs his shoulders, holding my eyes with a small, sad smile.

"We're all monsters. At the end of the day, you can't go back in time and change what you've done. I wish I could. I would have saved my parents. I would have done something to help you before it got to the stage you are at now." L pauses. A look in his eyes tells me he's thinking hard about something. A deep sadness seems to cloud them.

"I would have saved A." He finishes. I flinch a little with guilt. The memory of A is like a kick in the heart with stilettos. But I smile a little through my tears. A genuine smile for the first time in a long while as I come to the realisation that I definitely underestimated L.

Not only do I believe he is the world's greatest detective, but possibly the gentlest and forgiving human being I've ever met. I feel a sudden surge of respect for L. I smile at him without a trace of a sinister smirk or sarcasm.

I nod my head at L's words, choking out my reply in a deep sob.

"Im so sorry L. For everything. And I know it won't ever fix what I've done…But im so sorry.."

L smiles brightly with a look so like the distant memories of Wammys. Before everything was hell. Beautiful. It takes me aback.

"It's ok. You're right. It will never bring them back, but at least I know you're still human." L stands up and walks to the door, but turns around at the door to speak again. As he does I get a glimpse of his lifespan.

"Be strong B. Im sure your family, and certainly A would be proud of you for what you've just said."

As he opens the door, I call out to him in shock: "Wait! L!"

"What is it?" he asks gently.

I look at him in dismay. But after everything I've done, I have to give him the curtsy of telling him. I gulp sadly.

"You have less than five years…" L's eyes widen for but a brief moment before returning to normal. He smiles.

"Then I'd better make the most of my time. See you in a couple of days B."


	19. Chapter 19

**Kara**

L visits B from time to time, even getting him time out of the straitjacket. B's already been here for a year and a half. Sometimes they play chess whilst B eats jam that L smuggles in for him. Today however, they're sitting together on the floor completing a white puzzle that blends into the white padded floor. I sit in the corner listening in while L and B talk as if they're old friends. B smiles much more now. Even if he is going to be here for the rest of his life, he doesn't let it affect him day to day. Now though, B's eyes are downcast, as if he's troubled about something. L catches on.

"What's the matter Beyond?" He asks kindly, placing a piece of the puzzle into place.

B hesitates, picking up a piece and turning it over in his hand anxiously.

"I had a bad dream last night."

"Oh? What of." L pushes. B strains to remember the details.

"I dreamt that Matt and Near were there. Elsie too, And someone pulled out a gun and tried to shoot you. And.." L freezes abruptly, his hand hovering above the puzzle. Beyond doesn't notice and keeps talking. As he does, I see L clench his fist a little, holding it to him by the wrist and quivering a little.

when he too notices: "…L? Are you alright?" B asks, looking at L, suddenly concerned as L's eyes become glazed with tears. L bring his knees to his chest and hugs them tightly as B moves around to him. L shakes his head and cries as B wraps his arms around him gently in a comforting hug. I'd seen L do this several times when B gets upset while they talk. When L seemed to be a bit better, he uncoiled and looked B in the eyes sadly.

"A little while after you left, the man who kidnapped me as a child and murdered my parents found me at Wammys. He threatened Near to try and get to me, injuring him a little before disappearing again. He'd planned to kidnap Near, but we put him under protection when he told us about Sylas. Elsie and I were just talking, and Near was by the window. He started shouting, and when I looked out, I saw the man who killed my parents…"

"Sylas?" I ask. L nods, struggling to carry on. But he forces himself to.

"Sylas was dragging Matt into the woods. I ran after them following the tracks Matt had left by dragging his feet. But he was already gone. I found a note smeared with blood telling me that he would kill Matt unless I gave myself up and let him kill me. I did what he said. I went to the tree by the river and met Sylas. He'd hurt Matt really badly. He couldn't move on his own so I lead him where he'd be out the way and tried to fight sylas, but he was stronger than I thought and about to slit my throat when Near came out from behind a tree and threw a knife at him. I hadn't realised he was following me." L starts to stumble over his words. I can tell he's never spoken to anyone about this before. My fist clenches when he tells me about Matt being injured. It gets worse though, and I feel the blood drain from my face.

"I was too weak to fight back. Near saved Matt in the end. Not me. He lead him where Sylas couldn't find him and helped him recover afterwards. But I couldn't even move properly. I told Sylas just to kill me because I thought if he came at me again I could disarm him, but he pulled a gun…" L's eyes turn to the floor, streaming with tears again. For some reason, I know what he's going to say. But I don't want to accept it. It can't be what I think can it? I have to hear him say it.

"What L? What happened?" I pressure him, putting my hands on his shoulders, gripping them harshly.

"Sh..She followed me…" My mouth drops in disbelief and I shake my head as my eyes become heavy with tears.

"Elsie took the bullet for me…I couldn't stop her…Near let Mello kill Sylas and…I tried to stop the bleeding but…" L trails off. I let my hands drop off his shoulders, my face blank, disbelieving.

"Oh." I reply simply, trying to process.

L just nods slowly. After a long painful silence, I look at L again to find him staring at me sadly.

"Im sorry B. I know you loved her too. I should have protected her." Im stunned by this, but I smile slightly.

"You knew? Huh… I guess I was obvious. It wasn't your fault L. She was an exception to your "We're all monsters" statement. She was, and I don't mean to be cheesy or cliché, a ray of hope in a sea of despair. I also know how deeply she loved you. If she had to live a day without you, when she'd already lost so much, I don't think she'd have ever been happy again." I look into L's eyes and find him smiling with shaking lips, nodding to my words. He laughs a little through his tears.

"You'd have made a good poet B. I think Elsie would have loved that." He looks at the clock and sighs, standing up.

"Thanks for saving her from those guys all that time ago. Seriously, without you, I could have never met her. I'd have died a long time ago if it weren't for the fact you aren't as bad as everyone thinks." I smile at that as he continues.

"There's someone coming to visit you in a few days. I don't know if I'll be back again soon." L frowns, as do I. When he sees my face, he laughs and hugs me tightly.

"Ok L. I've got a feeling I won't see you again though." I frown. L smiles sadly (something he does often, I notice)

"Okay. Well you're usually not wrong. I'd like to tell you then B, that I think of you as another brother of mine. And if you ever feel like you don't belong anywhere, remember," L stands up and walks to the door with a smile, taking an envelope out of his pocket and handing it to me. I turn it around and read the words inked on it. Wammy's

"All of us are connected. All of us from the same place. And you'll always be a Wammys boy. No, you'll always be a Wammys brother. Farewell, Beyond Birthday." Just before he leaves I smile at him.

"Farewell, L Lawliet." The door closes behind him.

Brother.

 **A couple of days later.**

Now back in the straitjacket I stare in shock when I see who walks through the door. The familiar jade eyes. Crimson hair and orange goggles holding it up out the way. But five years has changed him immensely. Now 13 years old, he's fairly tall, still skinny, but his face is tired and shows signs of slight fear. But he's unmistakably the boy I've known since he was a baby. Matt Jeevas, followed by the snowy haired, stormy eyed Near, who despite being 11 or 12 now, still clutches a stuffed rabbit to him in one hand. Some things don't change. He looks at me nervously. Clutching onto Matt with his free hand as support. Matt looks at him and laughs lightly, ruffling his hair. When he turns back to me, he still smiles, surprising me by running up and hugging me tightly. Near watches from the doorway with a small smile, fiddling with the edge of his sleeve.

"Hey B! It's been so longgg! I've missed you oh my god look at you! You look like hell!" He laughs, not even taking a breath. Near looks suddenly nervous.

"Be careful Matty. He's still a murderer." Near mumbles, shuffling further into the room and sitting in the opposite corner than me. Matt turns and looks at him with a look of sympathy. I feel so guilty that I wish the ground would swallow me.

I killed Near's brother. I killed Matts best friend. Im the reason his brother killed himself. Why are they here?

"Its… good to see you too Matt. But what are you two doing here? Why would you want to see me? After everything I've done." I hear Near mutter to himself in the corner and see Matt glare at him until he stops. Matt breathes out heavily, sitting on his feet a little.

"Because I don't think A would want me to stay angry at you. Neither would Miheal. I know about BB." He says after a pause. I look at him confused, and he turns to Kara. Smiling. She smiles back.

"Hey Kara. Long-time no see."

"Good to see you again Mail." She replies with a smile.

"Kara came back to Wammys briefly after you left and explained it to me. Basically B, you have a similar problem to Near. BB was your Mello. You couldn't properly control him. The things you did weren't entirely your choice, and I think that Miheal and A would understand. Coby would too. So, im forgiving you. Before you be all negative and stuff, id like to say im still pretty upset about all the murders and the lying. Of course I am, but you're still the closest thing to a brother besides L that I have." I stare at him in disbelief until Near rolls his eyes and walks over to us, staring me straight in the face. It's obvious that this is actually Mello.

"You murdered my brother. You tried to have L killed. We can all agree that you're a monster. But who are we to say that. Right Near?" Near nods. "Human beings are nasty creatures with short, pointless lives that are too short to hold grudges. So accept the forgiveness, say some sort of sentimental apology that we'll accept and we'll be good. Kay?" He finishes firmly. Near looks down and twirls his hair.

"Sorry…" He mumbles. Matt laughs lightly. As do I.

"Then Im truly, deeply sorry Nate. Mail. For everything I've done. And I know it will never bring back those I killed or right any of the wrongs I've committed. But I hope you can accept this useless speech so I don't die hated by those I care most about."

Matt grins, freeing my arms from the strait jacket and hugging me again tightly so I can return the gesture.

"I accept B."

We hear Near mumble in the corner: "Yeah yeah so touching. Can I please leave now?"

Later on I open the envelop L gave me to find a series of photos that make me well up with tears again.

The first is the family photo of me and Alodia with Mum and Dad. Must have left it in my room when I ran away.

The next is of A sitting with a three-year-old Matt in a tree, smiling down as I took the photo. I smile at the memory.

The third is of me and Matt playing a card game laying on the living room floor with A curled up asleep on the sofa. A tear splashes onto my thumb clutching the photo, sending a jolt of cold through me as I go to look at the next one. It's of Elsie and L sitting at the breakfast bar eating strawberries and smiling at the camera widely. Seeing her smile again after all these years is surreal. But im glad I get the chance. I feel slightly uncomfortable knowing that Coby probably took this photo, so I quickly turn to the next one to see Near and Matt playing video games together in the living room with Miheal, Elsie, Coby and L watching. Me and A are sitting together on the sofa too. I remember that day, as I was unhappy about sitting in the same room as L, but A told me to be nice for Matts sake.

I cry a little, but out of happiness as I realise that not all my time at Wammys was bad. There had been some good times after all. As I go to put the photos back in the envelope, a note falls out of it. I read it out loud with a soppy smile.

 _Dear Beyond,_

 _Watari would kill me if he knew that I've given these to you so you better appreciate it._

 _I want you to know that Elsie cared about you to. She wouldn't admit it to anyone but me. But she often declared how she didn't think you were evil, and that you were just another victim. She stopped crying when we brought up Coby, but if we spoke about you she got defensive and cried. That's got to mean something right?_

 _See you later brother._

 _PS: Mello want you to know that he still hates you, even if Near doesn't._

 _L_

I put the envelope down and fell asleep with a smile on my face for the first time in a long while.


	20. Chapter 20

**Kara-2 years later**

I stand beside the men in the observation room and stare down at the newspaper headline with worry. It's the same every day. Just lists of criminals that have been dropping dead of heart attacks for months now. L is investigating in japan, but there isn't much he can do. Another Shinigami is in the human realm.

I glance at the screen that the observers are watching to see B staring at the camera and seemingly gesturing with his eyes. I understand, immediately returning to the cell and sitting beside him.

"What's going on Kara? Why do you keep going in there? Somethings going on that you're not telling me about." B speaks quietly, facing down so his lip movements aren't caught on the cameras. I hesitate, earning a slight glare from him.

"Another Shinigami has come to the human world and given his death note to someone calling themselves "kira"."

"As in "Killer"?" B cuts in. I nod and B narrows his eyes as he listens.

"Yes. It's rather fitting. He seems to believe he is some kind of God-he's been killing off the criminals of the world one by one." B's eyes flash a deeper red than usual as he turns his head slowly towards me. He subconsciously raises a hand over his heart.

"Is… L investigating these murders?" B asks, voice sad as he turns his face away.

"Yes. He's gone to Japan to look for him, but we both now he's unlikely to find him. There won't be enough evidence." B reaches for the envelope in his trouser pocket and digs out the photo of L and Elsie at the breakfast bar. Those with Shinigami eyes can see the names and lifespans of people, even in photos. We both see L's flickering red numbers.

"He won't survive this case. He's going to die next year. I doubt this case will be solved by then. And if Kira is killing criminals, I won't either." B reply's coldly. "that's right isn't it Kara? I know you can still see my lifespan." He turns his head away, dropping the photo on the floor and clutching the padded floor harshly. His breathing speeds up as he stands pacing around and biting his hand angrily.

The voice intercom turns on with a beep.

"What's wrong, Birthday?" A man's voice asks. B stops pacing, turning towards the camera slowly.

"What do you think?!" I try to catch his attention by placing a hand on his shoulder, but he jerks away.

"Beyond, calm down. If you make a scene they'll sedate you again." The intercom clicks on again.

"Im afraid we don't know what you're referring to." B glares at the camera, seemingly about to say something, but thinks against it, letting himself fall back into a seated position with his arms wrapped around his legs.

He refused to respond to the guards attempts to calm him, instead opting to go to sleep.

Once he's asleep the lights are turned off, and im left sitting in darkness besides B, humming to myself sadly. I watch his numbers, the only light in the darkened room, flicker red. I must tear my eyes away to stop myself from crying out to him. I sit alone for hours, trying to clear my mind, but I hear a gentle knock on the door, startling me a little. Curious, I unfurl my limbs and walk to the door, fazing through to be met my someone standing at equal height to me. Im over 7 ft tall so this strikes me as odd. After the effect of the sudden bright light fades, I focus in on the figure in front of me, taking note of the single earring, the wide grin, and the apple poised in one of his hands.

"Ryuk?"

"Hey Kara, it's been awhile. Like, I dunno… 24 human years? Something like that."

I stare at him in shock. My inner thoughts are just reeling with questions.

"Why are you here Ryuk? I mean obviously since you're in the human world, that means you've dropped your death note. But why have you come here?" Ryuks smile never once falters. And he shrugs, looking behind me to the cell door.

"You know that Kira? The one that's been killing all the criminals? Well im the Shinigami who gave him a death note. He's an... entertaining character to say the least…I heard him talking about that human you seem to dote on. Beyond right?" I sigh at him.

"Get to the point Ryuk."

"Well anyway, he doesn't believe Beyond is really insane and thinks he's just evil. He's decided to kill a large portion of the people here, those he believes are faking mental illness to avoid jail. He said he will be doing it in a few days' time once he's finished with the jails he's cleaning out. Beyond's name was mentioned." Ryuk stopped talking and looked down. His smile faltered slightly for the first time in the whole conversation.

"I felt I should tell you, to pay you back for that thing that you did all those years ago. But I can't stop Kira from killing him. It's not how I roll." Ryuk looks back up, smiling again.

"That's all I can tell you Kara. See ya." And with that, ryuk leaves, leaving me standing stunned and concerned. I turn back to the cell and stare at B's peaceful sleeping form. My mind wonders, memories rushing in and cutting me off from the terrible reality that B will be dead in a matter of days.

 _I watch the child's sweet, innocent expression watch the people passing by as he perches ably on a tree branch. The people walk past the house with no knowledge he's there, watching from the garden. The look of sad confusion on his face draws in my attention._

" _What's the matter B? You look sad." The tiny 4-year-old snaps out of his daze and turns his face towards me, trying to smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. I notice a violet bruise blossoming under his right eye and clench my fists._

" _Its…nothing..." He answers, turning his face away quickly. I frown._

" _No it isn't. You can tell me anything B. You know that." B considers me for a minute, nodding his head slowly._

" _I was just wondering what those are." He asks, pointing to a passing person. I look at him in confusion._

" _What do you mean B?" He points again._

" _What are those numbers above their heads? Can you see them too? I asked A but he said he couldn't see anything. And mummy wouldn't tell me." My eyes widen a little, and I sigh deeply. Nodding. B looks at me expectantly._

" _I can see them B. Im surprised your mother hasn't told you about this, but I suppose it's because she feels bad." As I explain the lifespans, and why he can see them, his face drops. But he nods again and tries not to let it bother him._

" _Is that all that's wrong B? I think there's something else. Is it your father?" Again, he nods, holding back tears now._

" _Why is he so angry? Is it because he thinks im evil? Is it because of my eyes?" He turns to me with a look of fear, tears falling onto his bruised cheek._

" _Is it my fault? Am I evil?" He cries. I break at his sad eyes, hugging him close._

" _No B. It isn't your fault. He is the evil one. If you would let me kill him, this could all stop." I reply. He shakes his head._

" _No! you mustn't kill him! Then mummy would be sad." I look at him sadly._

" _See B? You're not evil. How could anyone as sweet as you ever be evil?" B smiles as I ruffle his hair. We sit on the tree branch until the sun goes down, and I help him sneak back into the house and lock himself in his room._

Another memory.

 _I watch as the Nine-year-old B opens the front door of the house, followed by me to see his father raise his fist to the tiny Alodia. Only three years old, and cowering in the corner. His strike hits B on the back of the head as he leaps in front of Alodia. He falls unconscious, and as I see his father go to hit him again, the doorbell rings. A neighbour coming to complain about the noise, giving me enough time to grab the children and lock them in B's bedroom. Again._

 _Then, when the children were locked in the basement…_

None of this would have happened if I had killed their father before that. That is when the innocent child I knew had died.

I cringe with guilt, watching B sleep quietly for the rest of the night, unsure of what to do now…

 **B**

Memory after memory weave into my dreams at such a rate that it become difficult to distinguish the events from each other.

" _You don't get to apologise. Not ever!"_

" _I'll KILL YOU B! ILL KILL YOU!"_

" _B, I think you're losing your mind."_

" _Im Beyond Birthday."_

" _I'm Elsie Keehl."_

And I wake up slowly to the now brightly lit white room. As soon as I open my eyes I see Kara watching me closely, leaning over my face about 10 centimetres away. I think of complaining at her for making me jump. But I register the depressed look in her eyes and think against it.

"Kara what's the ma.." I trail off as I consider her eyes. That's strange, there's something so familiar in her eyes... I shake off the thought and finish the sentence.

"What's the matter Kara?" She leans back a little, turning her head away from me slightly.

She looks hesitant to answer, looking back in my direction before lowering her eyes to the floor again as I sit up.

"It's nothing." She replies finally. I search her eyes, knowing that she's lying and knowing the reason. But I don't ask her again.

Throughout the next few hours, we sit in silence as memories flood back to me. Eventually I fall asleep again.

 _I can tell im dreaming. The familiar halls I walk through are that of Wammys house. Yet I can't control where im walking. Somehow I just know where to go. As I walk down a stretch of corridor, my path is blocked by two boys. One I know, and the other I've never seen before. But somehow I know who he is. The one I know says nothing, does nothing. He stares blankly with his head slightly cocked to the side. His white hair falls over his face, dripping with blood on one side of his face, like he's been laying in it. He holds a creepy doll close to him with his arms crossed, Near? as the boy I don't know, slightly taller, leans on his shoulder gently and tilts his face towards me more with one hand. The look in his blue eyes that screams bloody murder is accentuated by the scar covering the left side of his face from what I can recognise as a burn. His face is framed by blonde hair, body clad in leather. He smirks, dropping Near's face_

" _BB right?" He smiles, staring at my awestruck face. He pushes off the wall and walks towards me._

" _I suppose so. And you're Mello, aren't you?" I reply, backing away a little. He smiles darkly._

" _That's me. I heard that Matt compared you, BB to me, Near's Mello. So, it makes sense you would dream us up. It's a shame. You know for a long time, I ruined Near's life. I controlled him. You killing his brother in cold blood helped. Cheers for that." Mello sighs, and walks behind me, so that im left staring at Near as a tear drips down his bloodied face. I find myself unable to move as I watch it fall._

 _Seeing me staring. Near drops the doll, raising a hand to his face, covering his fingers in blood._

" _It's my brothers. I got bloody when I hugged him. He bled allll over." Near frowns, his voice out of character for him. As if mello is the one speaking. I hear Mello speak behind me, in a deep growl that no longer sounds like Mello._

" _How many lives have you ruined?!"_

 _I instantly react as I hear him move rapidly, swinging a fist towards me, I turn, ducking down and grabbing his fist as I turn, expecting to see Mello's burnt face and instead being met by the stormy grey eyes of Coby, glaring at me intensely. His voice wheezes angrily, like you'd expect of someone with a pierced lung. His white shirt is almost completely soaked in blood. He twists his fist out of my grasp and punches me hard in the jaw, shouting angrily._

" _Why did you stab me Beyond! What did I do to you? All I wanted to do was live the rest of my life with my brother, save him from Mello, be a good person, and you stabbed me!" I hear Near's voice behind me and turn towards him to avoid the look on Coby's face and his punches that keep coming._

" _Stop Coby! Please stop…" Nears monotonously breathes out. Coby goes silent eerily quickly, now behind me again as I pull myself to stand upright. I watch as Near looks down at the blood on his hand, raising his hand to his hair and dying it red. I blink. Opening my eyes to find not Near standing there, but Matt. Tortured eyes inches from my face in a blank glare. I jump back in surprise, observing as Matt sits back on his heels and looks up to the ceiling behind me, tears streaming down his face as he holds his hands around his neck, almost protectively. He pulls out a jagged knife, and suddenly rips it across his forehead, and with another scream and a blink, he is Miheal dying on in a pool of crimson yelling "Why? Beyond! Why!"_

 _I slowly turn around to see what he's was looking at only to scream and recoil in horror. I am no longer in a corridor, but a bedroom with a pool of blood and a body swinging from the noose, still alive. Still crying, he chokes:_

" _You did this to me! This is your fault!" He goes still. Leaving me to fall to the floor and scream with my hand outstretched to him._

" _No…A! Im sorry! Im sorry! Please come back!"_

" _He won't come back Beyond. You're a murderer. Just. Like. Me." I feel the presents and hear the chilling voice to the side of me, but I refuse to look at my father. He moves towards me and forces my face towards him. His organs are leaking out of the deep gashes covering his entire body, and he holds a knife to my throat._

" _Lucky for everyone, you're not gonna last long." He tears open my throat,_ and I wake up screaming till my voice gives out, and cry into Kara's shoulder as she rocks me gently.

"A…A…" I repeat, sobbing. Kara shushes me calmly.

"I know Beyond, I know…"

I look up at her slowly, a thought crossing my mind that I had thought about often. But I'd never been more sure than this moment.

"I love you Kara… Do you love me?" Kara looks startled for a moment, but not long enough to be considered hesitation.

"Yes. Of course, I do. Why would you even have to ask?" She replies, calm and curious. I feel my eyes well up again, but I know what must be done.

"I want you to kill me."


	21. Chapter 21

**Kara**

" _Kara?"_

" _Yes child? What is it?"_

" _He'll be here soon, won't he?"_

" _Indeed. As will I."_

I open my eyes and awake from my daydream. The quiet is suffocating almost as I stare at B. I feel guilty as I see the tears running down his face. His arms are bound again in the jacket. I refused to kill him. How could I do it? He tried to puncture his wrists with his teeth to kill himself, and tried to bite his tongue, but now he's left with the restraints and a twisted rag in his mouth stopping him from trying again. This is how he'll die?

I take a moment to think, watching B intently. He'll die in the next few days. It'll be torture to wait. I could just kill him.

I realise as I think that im keeping him alive for selfish reasons.

I don't want to be alone…

 **B**

Kara gains my attention, kneeling opposite me and removing the gag from my mouth. I stare at her in confusion.

"K... Kara..." I stutter weakly. "They'll see that! They'll know somethings going on..." My head thuds dully from my excessive crying. Kara smiles sadly and shakes her head. She puts a gentle hand on my face and lifts my head so our eyes meet. She wipes away my tears with a thumb.

"It doesn't matter Beyond. Not anymore." I look at her, further confused. She removes her hand from my head and takes my hands in hers.

"Do you remember what I promised you? I promised that I would always look after you. No matter what." She pauses, that look in her eyes again. I realise what it is about her eyes that is so interesting.

They're almost…Human.

She struggles for the words.

"I can't let you sit here waiting for death. And I can't stop Kira from killing you…"

She doesn't continue, but we both know what she was going to say. I smile softly.

"Thank you, Kara. For everything." I feel my eyes tear up again as Kara looks at me sadly. Her eyes, for the first time in all the years I've known her, start streaming with tears. I watch them fall onto the floor and smile.

"I didn't know Shinigami could cry." I laugh slightly. She smiles too.

"Neither did I."

She frowns again.

"I can't drag this out much longer. I can't take it.." I nod my head to her words.

"I've lived long enough. And it hasn't meant anything. Not since A died. Im not scared Kara." Kara sits opposite me and doesn't say anything. I lied. Im terrified. But I don't let it show apart from the tears. Kara takes out a small black notebook, and with a shaking hand, scribbles the letters onto the page.

 _ **Beyond Birthday.**_

She throws the book aside. I let her gently lower me so that im laying in her arms like a small child. I silently count in my head.

 _30 seconds._

"Who would've thought it? After everything you've done, you die in the arms of a Shinigami? Maybe the only Shinigami who has ever cried? The worst Shinigami in history." BB lurks in the back of my mind for the first time in years. Typical.

 _20 seconds_.

I stare up at Kara and smile still.

"I love you Kara."

10 seconds.

"I love you too Beyond."

 _5 seconds._

My eyes close. Pain flares through my heart as if a heated blade has been twisted into it. I open my eyes in time to see Kara's blurred face, no longer skeletal. I can't make out her face exactly.

The thudding of my head slows.

The past fades away.

My breath ebbs away, and everything goes dark.

My last thought, "Im sorry for everything. I don't want to die…"

 **Kara**

His eyes remain open even after the breath has left him. I watch as they slowly cloud over. The beautiful crimson in his eyes fades a little as they become like a photo of a storm. As the last of the colour disappears both of his eyes release it in the form of a bloody tear, streaking his pale skin like war-paint.

I cradle him even when I can't see the numbers. I can't see his unique name that I loved so dearly. The silence in the room looms darkly. I remove his straight jacket. I cry so much that if I had need for oxygen, I surely would be dead. I scream angrily, clutching him tightly, drawing blood from his now bare, limp arms, old scars painting every inch of him.

It takes a long time to come to my senses and I find myself shaking uncontrollably almost.

The guards have probably fallen asleep or something would have been done by now. The effort it takes to let him go, to lay his head on the padded floor and close his eyes, is crippling. I stand and stare down at him.

He looks more peaceful now than he ever did in life. And though I know it's for the best, I must force myself to look away from him. I pick up the death note, spread out my wings and glide through the roof till im in the open air. The glowing sun is just rising in the horizon. I take a moment to watch it, before turning and flying away from the asylum. I must go back to the Shinigami realm I suppose, but there's somewhere I must go first.

The journey is long, but I only stop once to throw Beyond's death note in a fire. This way, Matt won't be plagued with memories of the death note, or me. I don't want him to ever fear such things.

I continue flying until Im back in England. I glide around Wammys where I spent so much time. I smile. Not even B knew just how much.

I stand in A's old room. After all these years, it's still not in use. I traipse round the room, looking at everything. I lay on the floor and look under the bed, where just like I thought, there is still a carving on the wall.

I never told B about my past. He never knew anything about me, or who I am. I suppose now I can never tell him.

I frown and walk out of the room. As I leave the orphanage and glide up the road I see two familiar figures walking together, hand in hand.

Nate rivers and Mail Jeevas. I smile, watching them.

Eventually, I return to the Shinigami realm. But even then, I spend my time watching Near and Matt.

Not long after B's death, I sit observing Near and Matt as they walk home late one night. It's now that a man jumps them from behind a building. He has a gun. With panic I realise that their lifespans are due to come to an end tonight. The man grabs Near by the throat, suffocating him as Matt desperately tries to help, ending up with the gun pointed at his head. Without thinking, I write down the name of the assailant in my death note. He shoots himself, leaving Matt and Near to run away in terror. A strange sensation takes over me, as if im crumbling away. And suddenly, I see a strange light…

 **Location unknown-Beyond Birthday**

My head thuds lightly. The scene around me is nothing but a blurred light as I flick my eyes open. I feel heavy, like something is weighing me down as I lift my back off the floor. As I look around I grow more confused.

I drag myself to my feet and start walking around the room. As my eyes begin to focus more, I notice a wall in front of me with a doorway. I see that the light from before is coming from beyond that entryway, and painted in neat, gothic lettering above it is a message.

I read aloud to conquer the suffocating silence.

"Leave your fear in this room. You're safe now, Brother. What does that mean?" I shrug it off and step through the doorway, covering my eyes to shield them from the blinding light.

When I open them again, Im met by a beautiful sight. Im so shocked it becomes even more difficult to move.

There is a forest. Auburn sunlight streams through the trees creating lines of light. The sound of birdsong and running water from a steam running through it make me feel instantly calm. But none of this is what has me so stupefied. Kneeling by the stream is a girl with black hair trailing gracefully down her front on both sides. A red flower crown, roses, is on her head elegantly, standing out against the black and the white of her floor length dress. What also stands out is the white, angel like wings on her back, which are resting on the floor. When she hears me treading over the fallen leaves, she looks up gently with a soft smile gracing her lips. Her eyes, a slight rose colour amongst the russet brown is just like I remember when they meet mine. Her name tumbles from my lips, and my eyes force tears to stream over my pale cheeks as she stands up straight, and we run towards each other.

"Alodia?"

"B!" She replies excitedly as she throws herself into my arms. We both collapse on the ground on our knees in a tight embrace. I cry deeply into her shoulder, shaking so much I fear I may let go. She holds me tightly around the waist.

"Im sorry Lo…I should have protected you better…im so.. sorry..i missed you so much.." I choke. She chuckles lightly and pulls away, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear and swiping a tear away with her dainty thumb. I notice that she looks a little older as she does so. Im so worried that she will be upset, or angry with me. But I see the look of happiness in her eyes that tells me otherwise.

Still chuckling, she rests her hands on my face, staring into my eyes.

"Dummy. You couldn't have saved me. You did what you could. Besides," She smiles, "I never left you. I was always watching. Sometimes I was scared for you. Sometimes I felt like I was going to cry. But Im much better now that you're here." I laugh gently, unsure what to do. I settle for hugging her close again.

"Where are we?" I ask after a while. Alodia lets go of me, standing up with a flutter of her wings and pulling me up.

"Somewhere better." She answers simply, pulling me to my feet. She starts walking, but glances back to me briefly to check im following.

"You got red? That's cool…Its like jam…" She mutters, stepping away. Confused, I look behind me to see what she means, only to find that what was weighing me down is a set of red wings. They remind me of kara's I think sadly before hurrying after Alodia.

"So where are we going?" I ask after a little while of walking. Alodia looks at me. Concern filling her face suddenly as we stop walking.

"Im a guide, B. You will be too because we were born with the Shinigami eyes. It means that when people die, it is our job to lead them through their past and into the afterlife, basically. Everyone must walk through their past when they die. It's your turn." She opens a door that seemingly appear from nowhere.

"See you on the other side brother." She frowns, as I step through the door…

The experience seems to take forever. Its torturous to re watch every death I ever caused or saw. See the beatings my father dished out, and a multitude of other bad memories. By the end, my last memory, of Kara clutching me as I die, leaves me sobbing so much my chest aches. It's all so painful I feel like im dying again.

When its over I look around to find myself in a meadow.

Black and red flowers appear under my feet every set I take, joining the peculiar colours of the other flowers in the meadow.

There are orange, white and reddish brown flowers in the meadow. Alodia walks beside me once again, holding my hand happily, dragging me further into the meadow. She insists there is something I'll want to see.

After what seems like a long time of walking, we arrive at another section of the woodland, just by the meadow. There are five trees in a circle with a clearing in the middle. Within the circle, and growing up the trees, are the strange flowers again. Alodia lets of my hand and gestures for me to walk into the circle of trees. Puzzled, I follow her order. As I do, I hear voices talking to each other somewhere above me.

"Is that who I think it is! Guys look!"

"Calm down mate."

"Sorry."

"What if he punches me?"

"Shut up."

"Sorry."

Now literally frozen in place with shock. I start putting faces to the voices, and look up at the trees.

One tree has golden orange flowers winding around the truck and a thick branch. A girl with strawberry blonde hair has her legs wrapped around the branch and is hanging upside down from it. She laughs.

"B! Its you! Yayyyyy!" The face, the voice. A name. Elsie Keehl. Next to her sits her brother, Miheal, who looks a little concerned, but smiles anyway.

Another tree has white flowers trailing up its branch, and a slim boy with hair to match them straddling a branch and swinging his legs.

"Hey again Birthday. Don't worry. I don't hold grudges so I think I'll let the whole murdering me thing go. Good to see you again." Coby rivers laughs, before falling from the tree in typical Coby fashion, and sitting on the ground laughing even harder. I laugh a little too, walking over to him and offering a hand. He smiles as I pull him to his feet.

"Im still sorry Coby. I went mad." Coby puts a hand on my shoulder and smiles.

"We're all a little mad."

We both look up into another tree, with the dark red flowers twisting up it. I start to cry again as I see who is making his way down the tree to meet me. He drops onto the ground with his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and walks nervously towards me. Without saying anything, he removes his hands from his pockets, and grabs me into a tight, restraining hug. I don't mind. Not even slightly.

"The day you died was the worst day of my life. It drove me off the deep end, A." I cry again into A's shoulder. I feel him tighten his grip and bury his face into my shoulder.

"Im sorry B. I had my reasons, but watching you from this world sometimes, made me hurt more than I ever did in life. I love you Brother. I missed you so much." A cries too. Elsie and Miheal come down from the trees and stand side by side holding hands. Elsie weeps too, earning a tender hug from Miheal.

"There's no point in any of you apologising, may I point out. We're all still dead." Coby pipes up from the tree he is leaving against. When I glance at him, I realise the idiot has a leaf tangled in his hair. When he notices it he mumbles "For fucks sake, not again." earning a laugh from Elsie. Everyone laughs gently.

After a long time of clasping me tightly, A lets go. He proceeds to stare deeply into my eyes with a smile for a moment before welling up with tears again and hugging me.

"As sensitive as ever." I laugh, returning the embrace and smiling at Elsie and Miheal. Coby is still trying to untangle various leaves from his hair…

I spend every moment with A and Alodia for the next few weeks, though the time passes both quickly and slowly at the same time. I find myself starting to heal from the abysmal life I lead. Almost at peace. Just one thing was missing. Someone I have realised how difficult it is to be without.

As I recall the entirety of my life, I realise that the only one I ever loved completely, the only one who didn't leave me and who cared for me without hesitation despite everything I did. I really knew very little about.

The days drag on as I realise what im missing. I had thought that it was Elsie I loved. And to an extent I did. But I see now that it was just a connection I had because I had saved her. The missing piece of the puzzle that is my heart, is not here with me.

One night, as I sit in the ring of trees, alone for once with my thoughts. One of the trees starts glowing. Jumbled thoughts flooding my mind as from the ground, flowers begin growing from nowhere, and winding up the tree. The flowers are a silver colour, like Christmas lights. The moonlight reflects from them mysteriously, like the glint in a child's eyes when they're happy. I hear footsteps behind me. Very gentle, soft humming accompanies them. I identify the song as "you are my sunshine." I smile. My mother used to sing me that song. I turn to face the sound.

The most uniquely beautiful girl I have ever seen stands there in a white dress with a trail behind it. Everywhere she walks, the silver flowers appear. Her wings are obsidian black, held up expertly, not dragging along the floor like inexperienced angels or demons. Her Silvery hair holds a shimmer of blue at some angles, yet it looks like it natural colouring. It trails down to her waist, moving gently with the breeze. Her cheeks are lightly pink, like her lips, and her eyelashes are naturally full and almost flutter against her cheek as she blinks. Her eyes hold me the most. They are red, like mine. Yet human. They are familiar. Very familiar. The girl looks to be about my age. She smiles brightly, fluttering her wings slightly.

Her eyes…I know her…

I gasp when I realise.

Just before I died, when I saw a face that wasn't Kara. Not a Shinigami. But the eyes were the same…

The girl runs at me without warning, hugging me so tightly that I jump a little.

"Beyond! Its you!" She cries happily. Her voice is as beautiful as her face, and though its different, I recognise the way she says my name.

"You know who I am? Don't you?" She smiles, worried slightly by the look of it. I smirk, taking her face in my hands.

"Kara. You're Kara." I cry happily. She nods quickly, hugging me again.

"You're human?" I exclaim suddenly. She laughs.

"Yeah. It's a long story. The short of it is, I am Kara Wammy. Watari was my father." I look at her in shock. She nods a little.

"Yep. I know. I grew up at the orphanage before it was an orphanage. In fact, I used to sleep in the room that A later died in. My father took in another child too. A boy. His name was Ryuk, and we never got along well. But he was a family friend, so when his parents died, Dad took him in.

Two death notes were dropped at the same time. Ryuk got one, and I got the other. We were stupid, careless kids. We killed people we didn't like, and eventually the police caught up with us because we were at some of the crime scenes when the deaths happened. DNA was everywhere. Ryuk and I ran away. One day the police found where we were hiding, and in a shootout, I took a bullet to save Ryuk. My Shinigami, Kenelm, killed me first, as per the agreement of the death note, and Ryuk died a few years later of suicide when the police finally found him. Because we used the death notes, we were forced to be Shinigami when we died. But I hated myself for all the murder. I gave my death note to your mother because I was bored, and you know the rest from there."

I consider this for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"Your Shinigami was Kenelm? The one that wrote Alodia into the death note?" She nods solemnly.

"Why are you here now then?" I ask curiously. Kara smiles.

"I was a useless Shinigami. I saved Matt and Near from a mugger, and died thus. So I was sent here as technically, I redeemed myself for all the crimes I committed. I chose what age to freeze myself at. Neither of us will ever be older than 24 years old." She smiles.

Then I feel whole again. I know that this is the girl I truly love. Like hell will I ever let her go again.

I move so that im nose to nose with her and smile. She returns the gesture.

"I love you Kara. Thank you for always protecting me. Now its time for me to return the favour."

We press our smiling lips together, grasp each others hands, and use our wings to walk on air together, through the winding trees…

I realised from a young age that I wasn't the same as other children. Not just because of the odd name and the odd habit of talking to myself. It's not even because of the unusual crimson irises in my eyes that lead some people to believe that I am the anti-Christ.

It's more to do with the fact that I knew a person's name just by looking at their face. Not to mention, I also knew exactly when they were going to die. The fact I fell in love with a Shinigami and murdered everyone, only to become friends with them in the afterlife are strange.

My life was a train wreck.

But now, as I look into Kara's eyes, I wouldn't change it for all the jam in the world…

The End.


End file.
